My almost ex husband is a jerk

Do any of you have someone that likes to try to make you feel bad about your weight? My almost ex husband takes every opportunity to call me fat, say things like "your fat appointment", calls me Ms. Gastric bypass, and even encourages our 5 year old to notice weight. He has done this for so long that it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore, but it does make me very angry!

Yes, I am getting a divorce! My reality is I have to deal with him the rest of my life because of our son. I can't stand him... I did tell him that I could change fat but he couldn't change a$#hole! 

Ugh...

Well, my SO is not a total ********ounds like you have a real winner. 

My problem (well, one of my problems I should say) is my SO is doing his best to talk me out of having the surgery.  And he is always pushing food on me.  If I say no he gets bent out of shape.  He eats all day and all night long and he has a sweet tooth - and he's always shoving a bowl of something in my fact trying to get me to "share".

I have other issues with him, but they're not weight related.  I know he will always be in my life, but I think the cir****tances might change!

Hope things get better for you.  Sounds like you're a strong woman!

Not to hijack... but I had this going on with my husband prior to surgery.  A poster (beloved Ruggie) pointed out that the hubby and were seriously enabling one another.  I had never even considered that idea.  Anyway, it led to us sitting down and having a real heart to heart about it, and establishing vocabulary that we would use if one was pushing food on the other.  I doubt I would have made it to goal if the hubby and I didn't deal with that.  Now in maintenance, it is rearing its ugly head again while my husband is being a total emo about my plastic surgery.  But, I am ready for it.  Try talking to him about it- it might just help both of you.

Well, it won't be long before the shoe is on the other foot.  He's clearly harboring some ill will.  Imagine how he's going to feel once you reach grout goal weight.

sorry for your pain....{{{hugs}}}

I want to say that it's not about the weight...it's not even about you, it's about him...if not the weight, he would pick on something else to try to hold you down/put you down. funny (not) - it appears people's true colors come out at a time like this.  better to find out sooner than later and am proud of you for cutting your loses....  and please be sure your child is taught to respect all people, that it's not ok to be like dad in that way.

off topic - but not really...I was at a mall recently, and saw/heard a father with son (10ish)...dad was blatantly pointing out people to his son, and making fun of them, encouraging him to laugh and put down these people....the son appeared uncomfortable with that...I assumed (or hoped) that this was just a visitation, and that poor kid didn't have to live with the jerk 24/7.

anyway, best of luck to you, it's going to be a challenging 2014!

Sophie

Sorry to hear that.  I believe that kind of ill will is a product of control and probably his own self doubt.  

Keep up the great work with your weight loss.

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear about that. Nobody should be treated that way, much less someone that should still be supporting you as his son's mother, regardless of the divorce. 

Luckily, you have made the decision to take the higher road and you realize that your self-worth is not defined by your weight, but by how you view yourself. You have already taken great strides, and you realize the importance of teaching your son to see inner beauty as well. 

Good luck to you and I hope your soon to be ex soon sees the light and starts treating you better. 

There is no greater revenge than living well and being happy!

You guys are so sweet to me. I am teaching my sweet boy to love everyone regardless... Thankfully he doesn't live with us and I only have to see him occasionally. He doesn't even know I had surgery, just assumes and makes comments. I would never share anything with him because it comes out as venom at some point. 

Thanks for your kindness...

Chiming in with the It's Not You, It's Him Team.  He clearly suffers from low self esteem. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to put down others to give him a false sense of superiority which gives him some false self esteem.  It's classic psychology stuff. Scads of books have been written about it. 

He's unoriginal. A walking cliche.  *yawn*  At least he could have come up with something that was slightly amusing but I suppose that would take too much effort. Hah!