Do People Treat you Diffrently now?

One of the interestng questions posed by a fellow WLS orientation person to a "mentor VSG'er" in the clinic I attended. 

She couldn't really answer the question- however I thought I'd throw it out here.

Do people treat you differently now that you have lost weight - new people in your life and already established relationships? 

Or is it you that has changed as a result - and feel better about yourself aloowing oters to pick up on your positive energy ? 

Thanks so much! 

I had to really think about this one because I let a lot of this stuff just slide off my back.  I've had a couple family members/friends behave with a bit of jealousy because they are bigger than me now.  With the rest of my family and friends though I haven't noticed a big difference in how they treat me.   The major difference I've noticed is in my work relationships.  At my prior place of employment, I sensed a general air of more respect; people listened closer to me, sought me out more, etc.  I changed jobs a month ago so nobody here knew me as the "fat lady". 

I think too that I have changed as a result of the big weight loss.  I'm much more confident, more willing to put myself out there, happier in general...and I do think that people pick up on that. 

Both-

I think it is both also.

Yes!  I have an uncle (my aunt's second husband) who has never given me the time of day and actually is a jerk most of the time.  He was a cop and prejudice, yada, yada, yada.......Now every time he sees me, he gives me this big smile, calls me skinny and actually talks to me.

Those who I was close to treat me as they always have.  People who haven't seen me in a while are always commenting on how much I have changed.  I am sure that I am a little more outgoing since I lost the weight but I still struggle to put myself out there.  I don't have the fat to hide behind anymore so I feel more vulnerable.

 I think it is horrible that he talks to you know like you were not worthy of talking to.It is funny you wrote I don't have my fat to hide behind.I was thinking that the other day even though I am still at 239 lbs but it is better than 322 that I was three years ago I did hide behind my fat.I was loud and tried to be funny all the time.Now when people give me compliments I have a hard time excepting  them  I feel very vulnerable. What do you do now that he talks to you?

I think it's a combination of both. People seem more willing to talk to me, but then again my self-confidence has improved and so I feel that I am more open to talking to people.  I definitely smile more, and that makes me more approachable.  

Interesting question.  I had to think hard about it.  My close friends and family treat me the same.  

I started to notice that strangers treat me different.  Just enough to make me go ...hummmm.  Opening doors, smiling at me and such.

I was wonder if I am really seeing this or is it my imagination?

yes,,,all the way!  people that know me are openly jealous, and then there are those that are overly supportive till you start loosing too much and then it turns into " stop loosing so much"  or " your not gon'na have a butt left"... Strangers are giving me so much attention.  I can answer that one for sure because i used to be skinny, then i got big and people treated me different, not as charming and warm.  people just would look in my direction,,,, now that i am getting thinner, strangers don't just look they stair at me and have conversations.  Its a mixed of good and negative.  I missed the way people talked to me when i was skinny, people are usually warmer and cheery the thinner you are.. I know that sounds vain and terrible, but its true, at least from what i noticed from a female standpoint.

It's very well documented that obese people suffer discrimination in education, the job market, and more - and that is based on lots of studies, including studies where they do things like have people decide who to hire based on a resume and a picture of an obese person and a normal-weight person. The files with pictures of obese people were rated much less qualified for a job than the same file with the picture of a normal weight person. So no, I don't think it is your imagination - nor do I buy into the "obese people aren't discriminated against, everyone just treats them bad because they have poor self esteem" argument (I know you didn't make that argument, but I see other people do it here and it's so frustrating for me to see self-blame and victim-blame going on here of all places).