Dealing w massive job stress 3 years out

Hi all,

so sorry I haven't been around in forever. Not sure who will even remember me!

Had surgery 1/10/11 and have maintained about 70% EWL. Would like to lose to normal BMI but pretty satisfied w sizes and stuff. 

I do struggle A LOT with healthy eating. See a NUT every month and have for years but still not getting enough protein, probably abt 40g a day. 

And here's the thing.  I've been off work since 2/7, signed off by my pdoc for acute stress as a result of my treatment by my manager who I made a complaint against for hostile work env abt 6 mos ago AND more to the point out dept head who is mean and vindictive. She has been gunning for me. Two weeks ago she started requiring me to suit a work report detailed down to the freaking minute. I just came unglued. Saw doc again yesterday and he wants me to apply for short term disability. 

So, yeah, food.  My partner has been out of town (MIL hip replacement on Weds) since Tues last wk. and I've been holed up, watching Netflix and the Olympics and eating crap nonstop. Click in the morning and usually one healthy thing a day and the rest carbs/sugar/fat. Totally self medicating. 

I could use some support. You're right, I do know what to do. Don't need a refresher. Just in lots of pain and scared. And OH is my first WLS/VSG home!

Big, big hugs. I think right now I am a maintenance cautionary tale!  😘

First, hugs, big big hugs.

As you already know, the problem is not your eating, the problem is the stress.  You need to get out of your head for a bit.  Can you take a walk?  Go someplace that else and see something new.  Get out of the house.  Then, sit down and come up with a strategy for dealing with your work environment.  You can't stay in this work environment but you probably can't leave immediately.  Maybe get on short term disability and start looking for a new job.  Whatever you plan is, write it down.  Get it out of your head.  A plan will make all the difference.  Deal with the real issues, don't self medicate with food.  Also, stop feeling like a victim of cir****tance, making a plan will make you feel empowered.  This empowerment will most likely translate to better food choices.  If I had to choose between anxiety and anger, I would choose anger.  Anger can make you do things, anxiety makes you feel stuck.  Choose your emotions carefully.  We are here for you and we get it.  Hugs.

Hey --

I remember you, feisty one.  :)  You've been having a tough year, from what I recall, and now this.  To say it's been challenging for you is a gross understatement.

Is there any chance you could travel to where your partner is and help out there?  It would be a change of scene, you would be with your dear one, and maybe your nerves would be soothed to the point where you can regain a little (or a lot) more control over your eating.  I think just being with her would be a big help to you.  She is probably missing you as well, so you would be a balm to her as well, I would think.

Just wondering. 

In the meantime, maybe try a back-to-basics approach and try for that protein first.  The carbs would be a white-knuckle affair which I am not suggesting you try for at this time while things are so disrupted in your world.  It's hard enough to do that when things aren't so jangled.  Whatever protein you go for, even if it's got a higher fat content than boiled chicken breast, tempt yourself with that and see if you can up your protein numbers.  I think you might feel better.

I hope things improve for you and that you can work out the job travail.  That really does suck.  Know that you do have friends here, and that we're listening. 

Hi Ann,

I remember you; I don't post  to often but wanted to offer support and encourage you to take a real seriously look at Elina's suggestion. Stress and anxiety are certainly not a picnic but somehow you need to get control back over these cir****tances. I know you can do this; look what you have already accomplished!! Wishing you the best. Sincerely, Barb

Heya pretty lady. 

Stress is a part of our lives - as you well know. You just happen to work in a already very stressful environment WITHOUT the asshole managers. 

I've dealt with a lot of stress in the past 6 months. August - Melanoma that required 4 surgeries, September - 4 weeks of intensive training for my son's black belt, October - daughter in a play (lots of practices), November - My husband gets shingles and goes on short-term disability, November - Mother-in-law falls and get a concussion, November - MIL moves in with us. Then there was Christmas. Oh, and I did all of this while starting a new job in July. I'm not telling you all of this for sympathy. I just want you to see that you are not alone. 

At the beginning of this, when I was driving home bawling my eyes out after hearing that I'd have to get a second biopsy on my arm, I sat in the car and thought to myself 'okay Slim, this is going to get worse before it gets better. How are you going to handle this?' I chose to put me and my eating first before everything else. When my son spent 5 hours a day during mid-terms at karate boot-camp instead of having time to study, I drank protein shakes. When I had to pick up my daughter at 7 pm every night after play practice, I had cauliflower and hummus in my car. When I raced up to Boulder to check on my MIL after her fall, I had a protein bar for dinner (not the best choice, but better than others). When my MIL wrote a big "good-bye" note on FB and I had to get her bedroom ready in one evening, ask my brother and SIL to help me move her down to our hour with less than a day's notice and my hubby couldn't help because his shingles were out of control, I lived on protein shakes and my version of Elina's Chicken Soup. 

Since being diagnosed with skin cancer, I have lost 5lbs. No one would have faulted me, after all of the crap I'd been through, if I'd gained weight. I chose to separate the what was happening in my life from what I was putting in my mouth.

It is a constant and vigilant effort on my part NOT to give into the fat girl in my brain. Sometimes, I do, but it doesn't last for more than one day. 

Ann - your bosses are abusing you. Make the choice to NOT add to the abuse by eating crap. 

Decarb. Find foods and drinks that are on your plan. 

*hugs*

I had a boss like that in 2008.  New Controller n the company, slender woman who HATED fat people!  She made my life miserable.  I was one of the best AP people she had but my co-worker, who also hated fat people and me because I took her friends job after they fired her, and she waged a war on me to see if they could get me to quit.

They were SHOCKED when they had gotten on my last nerve.  I left everything where it was, packed up my personal things and QUIT!!  Never did that before or after but was the best thing I could do for myself.  That was after my lap band surgery.  Never looked back!

You need another job if it's possible.  Do NOT let them win!!!!!!