relationship changes vets and all

Thank you so much for your insight on this. I think it will help be prepared and aware of what's to come. Hubby wont like another hormone rush,  but he will just have to hold on tight for the ride!

I've been married 21 years and have a great marriage. My husband didn't really want me to have the surgery in the beginning because he said he loved me no matter what the scale said and he was afraid that after I got skinny I would realize I could do better than him. He also gave me statistics on the number of failed marriages after weight loss. I was surprised to hear his insecurities but was so glad he shared with me how he felt. I told him that what I had heard was that bad marriages get worse and good marriages get better. I also explained that I was doing it for my health and that it was important to me to have his support. He finally came around and has been extremely supportive. One thing I do find interesting is that not once in our 21 years together had my husband ever said anything negative about my body even though I was a 100 pounds over weight. Now he makes comments all the time about my bones sticking out or how I should stop losing weight because I don't have any more fat it's just a lot of loose skin.  He's not trying to make me feel self conscious, I know, and the reality is that there is a lot of loose skin.  I'll take the loose skin over fat any day though. 

From what I've seen, relationships that are already struggling tend to get worse. Relationships that are basically sound tend to get better. 

My relationship got better, but it was already really good. My hubby only experienced jealousy once when a manager at Chipotle hit on me. My wedding ring was too big, so his answer was to get it sized - like that day. 

He loved me when I was fat. He loves me know with sagging boobs that make like a game of hide and seek since they easily slip into my armpits. I look great...in clothes. He knows what hangs and sag underneath the pretty clothes. 

Right after we got married a friend of ours got a divorce. I freaked out. I said "what if that happens to us?" My awesomesauce hubby said, "It won't. The grass isn't any greener on the other side. It's just different grass." That's how I feel. 

You see, I have the best husband in the world. Seriously, he has and sweatshirt that proves it. He's also the best dad. Best son. I make sure to tell him that every single day. 

IMO, it's all about how YOU handle the relationship. You can't control what they feel, but you can control how you respond. 

That is some great perspective. Thank you so much.

I've been a variety of sizes with my husband, we've been together for 8.5 years, married for 4.  I was a 20 three months before we met, a 12 when we finally met in person (starvation diet), I got back up to a 16, we got engaged and I got down to an 8, got back up to a 20 before & during pregnancy, then finally had WLS and I'm a size 4.  Through it all, our relationship has been solid, but it's so much better now.  We have a beautiful toddler, I have become quite successful in my career, I finally found my external confidence and our relationship is really, really good.  So much better than I could have hoped for.  Our sex life is, quite frankly, fantastic now.  It changed so much more than my weight, it allowed me to really embrace me in a way I've never been able to do before.  He does get jealous.  I get a lot of attention, but I'm actually completely inept with men and he knows what a real pain in the ass I am so there's nothing to worry about.  The little jealousy he shows is really sexy to me.  He's a very confident man.  I couldn't be with someone insecure.  I'm too loud, too opinionated, too big of a ***** for that whether I'm fat or whether I'm thin.  I think his incredible confidence in himself has helped a lot :) 

Thank you Raven. I think hubs will do fine once the actual surgery part is over...

Yeah, mine was terrified and didn't want me to do it, but he's always supportive of what I want.  Good luck!