Issues are coming to the forefront...psychological crap

I've been processing this for a few days and decided it's time to share.  I'm open to thoughts and advice.  I don't want this to derail me before I'm even really started!

I am a chemist at a plant that has a workforce mostly made up of men.  About half of my schedule is working by myself, in the lab, on the nightshift.  The men bring samples to me all night long.  Interaction has always been lighthearted and quick.  Until recently, that is.  Last week I dyed my hair and got a little nuts.  So, now I'm no longer a blonde, I'm a redhead.  And I'm obviously a lot thinner than I was but no where near thin.  I will admit that my face is looking a lot better and the hair really does work with my complexion.  But since the new hair I've gotten a lot of unwanted, unsolicited attention.  Words like ******y, blah blah blah.  But the worst of all was a man actually touching my hair (TOUCHING IT!  And me....I don't like to be touched) and saying he's always loved redheaded women.  You know what I wanted to do?  Eat a cinnamon roll, eat chips, order pizza, drink a Dr. Pepper, go to McDonalds.  I'm not kidding, in one comment this man had me contemplating every single bad habit that got me to obese in the first place. 

I have no idea where this comes from.  I don't know what it is about attention, good or bad, that makes me think that I need to fatten up to avoid it.  But, there it is.  I did not know I had this issue but I do.  Something that will be discussed w/ my therapist at our very next meeting. 

I hear you. I could see myself doing the very same thing. I'm glad that you're planning to speak to your therapist about this. It's definitely something that needs to be talked through... You shouldn't have to live your life using eating as a method of avoidance, and I'm sure your therapist can give you some tools to help out. 

As for the guy... TELL HR. You do NOT have to be made to feel uncomfortable at work! Even if the guy's intentions were harmless, this sort of behavior is inappropriate. End of story. Don't feel guilty, either. You didn't ask for the attention. Hell, even if you had asked for the attention, he still shouldn't have acted in such a manner. Inappropriate is inappropriate. 

Best of luck, dear. Keep us posted in what the therapist says. I deal with similar "eating = avoidance" issues and would be very interested in hearing how things go. PM me at the very least ;)

I so get it!  I grew up chubby and when I was a freshman/sophomore in HS, I lost 60 pounds.  The boys in school that teased me and made me cry every day were now interested in me in a different way.  I felt like I was the same person fat or thin and couldn't understand why nobody else saw it that way.  So, long story short, I gained all the weight back plus some and kept gaining until a year ago when I started this journey.  Even now, 20+ years out of high school, those same insecurities still get to me sometimes.

And nobody should be making you feel icky and uncomfortable at work!

Been there, done that...over and over and over.   I'm really glad you're discussing it with your therapist, Tricia.  My take on it is that somewhere along the way in your life you never learned to set boundaries...or didn't feel like you were allowed to.  So now that these guys are pushing on them (emotionally AND physically) you are kind of at a loss because you don't have the coping mechanisms that most thin women have.   Your coping mechanism in the past was to make yourself unattractive enough that you didn't even invite that kind of attention.  Am I right?   And it works beautifully...until it doesn't anymore! 

You need to learn how to set boundaries and then practice, practice, practice until it becomes second nature.  Here's an example:  "When you make comments about my appearance I feel like you don't respect me as a professional (or - it makes me uncomfortable).  I need those comments to stop right now.   Understood?"  

Most evolved males with any sexual harassment training will back off.  If they don't then you take the next step, which is to say:  "Listen, I've told you before to stop making comments about my appearance.  If it happens again I'll take my complaints to the next level." 

This is boundary setting formula 101:  State the behavior you find objectionable, explain how it makes you feel, ask for it to stop and tell them what will happen if it doesn't stop.  

Document it and turn it in to your superiors.  Even though you can handle yourself, there may be others that those guys have put in the same position.  There is a difference between complimentary and creepy.

Hi. I have red hair and there have always been men that are a little obsessed with the hair color. I can pick them out-they always stare at the top of my head or touch my hair. I think there is something about unique things that people feel like they are allowed to touch. 

I got a lot of attention from guys when I lost weight 5 years ago. It did affect me a lot. Kind of oddly changed my personality and made me unsure of who I was. It's good to talk to a therapist and learn how to maintain a stable knowledge of who you are during the changes!

this is the first time i have ever replied to a post and i have never posted anything of my own, but this so hit home!  9 years ago i lost 192 lbs, gained it all back, plus some.  i am 6 weeks post op now and i am so worried about going back to work monday and all the attention, i've lost 49 lbs, i know i am far from thin but i can wear clothes that i havent worn in awhile and that feels great!  i just want to thank you all for sharing your lives! 

Send them my way!!!!! Perfect solution. 

Sorry to make light of it. I have absolutely my share of problems with men and attention and being thinner. 

One thing Id say (ummmm bc I did this to an extent) - dont necessarily run to management. While it definitely crosses sexual harassment lines, you may want to try and find your voice - it will be an excellent opportunity to find and use it. Maybe working with your therapist will help you get to a place where you can stop and say "Hi XX, i appreciate the compliment but I dont think XYZ is appropriate and makes me uncomfortable." For me, something like this makes me wanna poopoo my pants thinking about having to do it, but part of the process of our new life is taking care of ouselves, and learning to set boundaries 

I definitely agree about speaking up before you take it to the next level. Good luck to you and good for dealing with it off the bat.