Felt like a fish ou****er

I can only imagine this will get worse! Today, my youngest son ,husband and I went to the grocery store. It was such an odd experience because I am on the pre-op diet! My husband often goes with me to the store so this was not a big deal, and yes he is use to me reading labels because honestly I have done this for several years even though I was obese! I just never had to worry about protein before. But today, I was reading protein labels getting ready also. LOL.

Today, though it was so surreal because I felt so strange in the store. It was like I was in a foreign land. I was not triggered by anything and I wasn't mindlessly putting things in the cart. I let him take care of everything on the list. He is doing ALL the meal planning especially because I am NOT eating.

I couldn't wait to go down the drink aisle! LOL. I was like a kid in the candy store- I guess. However, I put so many things back because there were too many carbs or too many sugars! Just not enough bang for the buck. He just stood there patiently waiting for me. He knew that since I can't eat and I was on my liquid stage- not to say a word. HA! I paid way too much for an 18 ounce drink, but it was worth it because I am so sick of some of the other things I have. I just needed a change.

It was unreal today shopping because we did not spend nearly as much as we usually do. I realize now, maybe it was ME, who would throw extra things in the cart. I would say they were for my son, I guess. Granted my son would eat them,but to be honest he could care less about them! He could take it or leave it. It was mainly for me and whatever my cravings were at the time. I just blamed him.

I felt actually EMPOWERED after I came home knowing that I made it out of there without anything " CALLING MY NAME!" Not one thing at the store sounded or looked good. It just looked like " food to eat to me. It was so strange. I don't even know how to explain it. I really do feel like I have detoxed and all the garbage is out of my system.

At times, I think I felt sick looking at my " old friends" knowing that they had such a powerful hold on me when I was in the store. They caused me a lot of pain over the course of my life that I didn't even realize. I missed a huge chunk of LIFE because of food, I think.

I told my husband that I actually look forward to when I can eat "clean" and a normal person size. I don't think I even know what that is. I have ate clean in the past, but I don't think I have EVER, ate a normal portion before- that was my issue.

It will get better.  :)  Personally, I didn't cook or shop for the 4 weeks of my liquid diets.  I handle all the rest of our lives.. my family could handle those 4 weeks without me!  

In time, you'll find that you really only shop on the outside aisles of the store and bypass the middle entirely. (Well, aside from almond milk, that's in the middle of my store still.)

Hi. It was such a rush for me after surgery (when I went back on solids) to eat and be full in a few bites! I don't crave anymore like I used to and, following the refeeding plan was like baby steps back to clean living.  It keeps on getting better. Good luck

Thanks for this post.  It takes me back to another time.  I am one year post surgery, and some days I look at my shopping cart and I cannot believe it.  Its all proteins and fresh veggies, and I spend a lot less on groceries than I used to.  I'll buy tea instead of sodas.  I have no processed foods - they all have too many carbs.  I'll still do impulse buying, but it will be fresh veggies rather than junk food.  What a change. 

And the best is yet to come.  It will become second nature to shop well and eat well.  And you'll love the weight loss and the new healthy you!

best wishes

Carol