Self sabotage

I really suggest trying different therapists too. I had to cycle through a few before I found one that knew where I was coming from. A couple therapists believed I just needed more discipline which is not what I needed - I needed to deal with those deep underlying issues. 

I highly recommend journaling as a way to explore some of the reasons for the self sabotage. Writing activates a different part of the brain so more may be revealed than just talking about it alone. 

The therapist I have specializes in addiction. He understands the root cause isn't me not being disciplined, but it goes back YEARS.  At this point, I feel optimistic that we'll have a good working relationship.

Thank you for sharing such a private issue with us. I am confident that speaking your "truth" instead of running it around in your head is a major step in the right direction. You have started to address what the majority of us here struggle with after the initial weight loss. It is the emotional eating that is constantly trying to pull us back into the abyss. It doesn't seem to matter what emotion, we want to eat when we are stressed , excited, tired, even happy! It really is a "head game", this our ongoing struggle..sigh. Onward and upward, ( I try to remember) what would life be like without challenges and personal growth? You are in my thoughts. Please continue to share with us as you move forward.

Thank you :)  The one big thing I love about OH is I've always felt "safe" sharing private issues.  The empathy from those who have been through it and totally get it, make the battle a little easier.

Fight like hell to maintain your loss. The comments will eventually stop, unless you regain, then sadly you have put yourself back in the spotlight.

I'm fighting and I WILL succeed!

Life after surgery is hard.  I have regained. I quit tracking my food. Quit weighing as often.  Rarely open MFP. And I was rarely here on OH. I felt good.  My clothes fit.  A nibble here and there and my clothes started getting tight.  It is coming off now but it is such a head game.  My fat cells are doing pushups in the corner for when I over eat they are ready to fill back up.

What a wonderful post and thread! Congratulations on having the bravery to share this with your OH community. It is not easy to admit when we struggle. As obese people we have learned to internalize shame and be our own personal jury and judge. 

I also want to acknowledge the panic and fear that happens when old behaviors come knocking and we let them come on in. It's a deep in the gut fear that may be subtle and quiet and fleeting, but it's there. I'm so pleased for you that you understood your need for more support and seeking out a therapist. I wish I had done that sooner myself. 

You continue to impress me. Brava!