I'm starting to freak out.

I'm having my RNY-GB surgery on 7/2 and I've actually been pretty excited to finally get it over with since it's been a long nine month process with contant doctor appointments and the arguments with family. Now the fact that I'm about to have the first major surgery in my entire life in about a week or so is freaking me out and I'm wondering if I making the right decision to have this surgery.

According to my doctors I am like super obesed expecially for my height. I am 5'1 and was pushing 300lbs before I started my liquid diet. I am now down about 5lbs and I have been doing good with the liquid, which I thought would just be the hardest thing in the world watching eveyone around eat whatever they want. Anyhow, I woke up this morning thinking what the hell am I about to do and would it be worth the pain and having to be on a diet for the rest of my life. This is the first time I've gotten so emotional about having this surgery

I more of a lurker on this site but I felt I need to get this out before I completely overwhelm myself with dreadful thoughts today. I'm thinking do need this surgery?  I do not have any other major heatlh issues besides the sleep apnea the hospital diagnosed my with, I am borderline diabetic, I have an unexplained rapid heartbeat and I can barely walk more than two blocks without having pain in my legs my doctors all think I will benefit from the surgery.  I am definitely looking forward getting healthly and being able to do more things and not being ashamed to get out into the world because I am so big. I'm just worried about this panic I'm having all of a sudden. The warnings from my family are weighing on my mind right now and I am honestly scared that i am going ruin myself by having this surgery. The only person that has been somewhat supportive is my husband but I don't think he knows how to handle this either.

Just breathe. Try to envision your end goal, pray on it, if you're a believer. Go goal shopping, an OMG I can't believe this fits outfit, dress, pants, whatever.
Plus, it's your families job to be worried, mine were as well.I had complications and my dad just stopped asking me literally a month ago, how are you doing? I'm better than good right now. It's just what they do out of love. I have no regrets NOW, earlier on yes, and I had ZERO co-morbidities. You can check out more on my page.

 Anyhow, I woke up this morning thinking what the hell am I about to do and would it be worth the pain and having to be on a diet for the rest of my life. 

The idea is that you really AREN'T on a diet for the rest of your life: you'll be eating the way healthy-weight people eat. 

And think of it this way: when you are super-morbidly obese (I was, too) the "rest of your life" can turn to the "end of your life" very quickly if there is no intervention. I was convinced, at the time I had my surgery, that I wouldn't have lived to see fifty. In September I will be 53, so I made it past that big 5-0 milestone that I was sure I wouldn't see.

Don't worry about your family, either. How would THEY feel of your weight caused you to not be there anymore?

As as for support: that's what WE all are here for! 

What you are feeling is very normal. Many of us have a panic attack right before the surgery. We start running all those worse case scenario's through our minds, etc. I am almost three years out now, and it was a great decision. I lost the weight, I had just moved from the "pre daibetic" stage to "diabetic" and now my numbers are in the normal range. I run, bike, go hiking, go camping, play with my kids, go kayaking, eat NORMALLY and have a ball. I don't feel like I'm on a diet, and am so happy I had the surgery.

 RNY can be a miracle in your life.  You still have to diet and exercise but this time it works.  The time before the surgery is usually the hardest.  All of the wondering about making a life changing decision.  You will be fine and so glad that you did this.

I know exactly how you feel...before RYN I had never had surgery, hated doctors and didnt even get regular physicals. The best thing you can do is make sure when you go into the hospital is to bring someone who supports you and will be encouraging to you. No need to be that scared of it, if it would make you feel better call up the hospital and ask if someone can describe the whole process I find for myself that if I know what they are doing it makes it less scary. Hugs!

I was in your shoes just 5 weeks ago. I went through the 9 months and was so excited when I got the approval letter. I had the date set for May 19 and on May 17 I freaked out so bad I cancelled. The surgeons nurse called me and asked me to come in just to talk. At 5'3 and 307 lbs I am also super obese. I talked to my surgeon and several others who made me realize that by not doing this I was risking my life every day. I was at risk for becoming diabetic within the next 5 years and at only 29 I decided it was time to take my life back. I rescheduled for May 31 and even though it has only been 3 weeks I am so glad I did. My energey level has doubled and the pain was minimal. I can't speak much of the diet because 3 weeks isn't long enough to tell how difficult the lifestyle change will be but this forum seems to offer a lot of support so I'm counting on using it if I struggle in the future! I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide! Just remember that you have to do what's best for you and take into consideration what your medical team suggests!

Good morning, I just want to applaud you first for getting that off your chect, its hard holding in all those feelings.  I will say you are having your surgery on a wonderful day since it will be my 29th birthday.  However what your feeling is more than normal, but u said yourself all the reasons you need to have the surgery.  Dont talk yourself out of something that will change your life for the betterment.  You are too beautiful to miss out on life and so young to have so many problems.  If you ever want to talk im here for you and so if everyone else.  AS some stated, thats part of your families job to worry, but God has you.  PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING AND WORRY ABOUT NOTHING.  GODBLESS

You are young, you already ARE gorgeous - and hopefully life can only get better for you after surgery.  It's great that your co-morbids are minimal.  But without the surgery, there is not guarantee of that.  That's got to be taken into consideration.

The fact that people are worried about you means you are loved.  Wow, we can't even begin to tell you how life will be so much different for you after your surgery! 

We all have lost significant weight in the past - and have gained it all back (sometimes "and then some").  Facts are, we're all pretty smart - and if we could have done it on our own without WLS we would have!

If you have the opportunity, take your husband to a WLS support group.  He'll find other spouses there who probably feel the same way he does.  It is YOUR sugery, but it effects the entire family!

Feeling scared and anxious is normal.  You started this process for a reason - keep that in mind.

Best of luck to you!
    Sandie

You did the best thing by getting this out in the open. I have not had my surgery yet I am just starting the process but I too am pre diabetic. I know alot about the consequences of diabetes since I lost both my parents at relatively young ages to complications of the disease. My mother always worked to do the best she could to control her diabetes but ended up with heart problems and renal failure. She was to begin dialysis the next week if she had lived. My father had poorly controlled diabetes and lost two toes and became legally blind before he died from multiple strokes. Diabetes is deadly and that iswhat convinced me to have this surgery now. I want to live to see my college age boys grow up and have a life of their own. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs and not be out of breath and I want to be able to tie my shoes without having to hold my breath. And you want all these things too. Even though I have not had WLS yet I have had knee replacements and I was scared then too so I really believe this is normal. It shows that you are taking your decision seriously. Just take a deep breath and realize that this is a chance to have a healthy normal life!