Feeling like I've screwed up

I'll start by saying I had RNY with some kind of band that I still don't fully understand 3 months ago and have lost 70 lbs so far.

I know I was told all the rules about eating slowly, chewing 20 times per bite, not drinking 45 minutes before or after meals and sipping slowly . Most of these I follow most of the time, however I sometimes find myself drinking water way too fast especially after vigorous exercise, this used to make me sick but not anymore. I've also been really bad about not drinking before meals, I've been good about after.

I'm just worried I could have already done some damage because even though I stick to my no carb, 800-900 calories a day exercise every day I haven't lost anything in 3 weeks! I measure my portions so I'm sure I'm not eating more than 1cup of food at a time.

Is it possible that I've stretched something already? Should I still be feeling discomfort when I drink too fast or eat shortly after drinking? I know they are bad habits I need to break I'm just worried I screwed something up already!

I'm AMAZED at how much ppl freak out about things that are gastric related and the same thing that apply in different areas they do not. 70lbs in 3months and thinking you screwed up?? Think about it....you had MAJOR surgery and your body is healing and losing huge amounts of weight - at some point it has to take a "break" or plateau to kinda recover from all that trauma. However, you're not alone..I've had my original surgery 8 yrs ago and had a revision and feeling the same thing about things not moving...but we have to understand that things take time!! We didn't gain all the weight back in 3months...so it's not gonna go away in any length of time. Most ppl will take a year or two or whatever...we had this amazing opportunity to get healthly and it's supposed to be a life long process but we're creatures of habits and do freakout. Everyone's dr recommends different drinking times ..if not mistaken the standard is 15 min before and or after..and it's whatever you can handle. Anything and everything is a GUIDELINE...and not rules where you will be punished (other than by your body) but if you can handle it - go for it...if you're sipping and feeling no pain...then it's fine - if you're sipping and feeling pain...obvious choice is to stop or slow it down...your body is telling you something. The RNY is the type of surgery that does "punish" you for bad food choices etc but it's not forever....check the RNY forums you will see the same amount of ppl who have had that and other surgeries that in time got back some, or all the weight cause they "ate" their way around it. How do u prevent it by creating and forming good eating habits and TRY to never go back. Of course being a newbie..you're gonna experience things differently now then when you're more out. I can vouch for that. At 3months you haven't screwed up but develop good eating habits and be compliant so that you won't be writing that you did screw up a couple years from now. Best of luck!!

I don't wait to eat after I have drank something.  I heard from many people that it didn't make a difference and because I need to eat often I just wouldn't have enough time in the day to get in all my food if I had to wait 30 minutes to eat.
We aren't going to lose weight every day or even every week.  Most people worry that they have screwed something up at some point or another, especially when the weight loss slows down.  If you stretched out your stoma then you would get hungry right after eating and you would be eating more.  You wouldn't necessarily gain weight with a stretched stoma, you gain weight from eating too much.  If you know you aren't overeating then you most likely won't gain weight and will eventually lose weight, just not as fast as you may like.
I wouldn't think you should be feeling discomfort on a regular basis.  That would be a miserable way to live.  Most of the time I don't feel discomfort unless I push my capacity or eat something that disagrees with me, not often at all thank God.  I didn't have surgery so I could be punished into eating less.  I had surgery so I could manage to eat less and still be satisfied.

That "some kind of band" is probably a silastic band around your stoma, to keep it from stretching. Did your surgeon ever use the term "Fobi Pouch"? (This is something you REALLY need to know, so call and ask.)

You're doing great. Just hide your scales---don't get on them for a MONTH. I guarantee you you'll be pleasantly surprised when you weigh again, one month from todday. (*grin*)

He didn't use the term Fobi Pouch but yes that's what it is.  I know what he did, sorry I sounded like a complete idiot, I still don't fully understand it's purpose.

It's intended purpose is to keep the stoma from stretching. Unfortunately, for some people, it winds up causing nausea and vomiting because the stoma is too small.

 Well I've been lucky so far and haven't experienced any negative side effects, so fingers crossed it will stay that way!  

Amen to that! I know people who're 5-7 years out with ZERO problems, and others that started having trouble within a couple of years. I think it's just a crap-shoot. The one piece of advice I will give you is this---if you start having ANY trouble that you even THINK might be related to the silastic band, call your surgeon immediately, and insist on his doing something about it. It seems that once it starts, it only gets worse unless there's aggressive immediate treatment.

My RNY surgeon has the 30/30 rule but my best friend (who had the surgery with a different doctor) has never heard of waiting 30 minutes after you drink before you eat.

My surgeon is OK with straws and diet soda (not thrilled but OK) but my best friend's doctor said absolutely, positively not.

My surgeon refuses to give me a calorie target - only do's and don'ts.  I'm also still only at 1/4 c of food at a time and I'm 11 weeks post-op.

I use a straw to drink my water and it makes a world of difference.  I certainly don't sip but I do take pretty impressive sized drinks, especially when I'm excersizing.

I know what you mean about the rules - they give you so many and set them up from a black and white perspective, that it makes knowing where the gray area is difficult - and knowing that being in the gray area doesn't equal failure even more difficult.

I am super excited about your 70 lbs!!  

I am also very impressed with your exercise every day.  I really really want to exercise way more often but I had a 'break in routine' a couple of weeks ago and can't get back in the swing of things - and THAT is such a pre-surgery bad habit I do not want to bring with me to my new life!

I agree with whoever said stay off the scales - they were right!  Just keep doing what you're supposed to and it will continue to fall in place!

Best of luck!

Drinking is not a problem for me at all - many people have no trouble with beverages.  If you are following your calories and doing the portion control and exercising - you are on track and haven't done anything to screw up.  You are just in a stall.  Have to wait it out.  Great job so far!