Major move to stand up for myself.

It is only Dec. 3 and already I've had 2 people send home holiday treats with me.  I don't mean to single them out, but I realize that I will NEVER survive this month (I am pre-op) without putting a stop to this.  Normally I would never rock the boat or say anything because I wouldn't want to make people feel bad, but I just posted this on Facebook:

"Dear Friends and Family: I love you. I also love cookies and candy. But I'm trying to implement some major lifestyle changes. Please, please, please do not send cookies or candies to my house. I realize the irony of this considering I host the gingerbread party, but I really do need your help here. Offer them to my children outside my home, that is fine. I just don't want to bring them home any more. Thank you for understanding. I really do appreciate your thoughtfulness. But it's barely December and this is the only way I'm going to survive the month."

I'm hoping people understand and listen.  I have spent far too long putting myself behind other people.  If someone is really so upset by my request that they not give me baked goods or candy, then really, I don't need them in my life.

totally,just totally. you totally have the right beginning attitude. You are worth being first and if people dislike your refusal to be codependent with them,that is their problem,not yours and they don't need to be in your life in any way.

 

GL

 

I am working on this very thing... "don't rock the boat" OMG those words ring in the back of my head every single day... I need that phrase to die a burning hot death!!

I never say anthing to anyone, I never want to make people mad, or to have conflict of any sort in my life... but in doing this... I get walked on, I get myself mad because I agreed to do something I don't want to. 

Your facebook status to friends and family was very tastefully done... You could have said:  "Do not under any cir****tances send any holiday goodies to my house anymore."  LOL...and it still would have been appropriate!

Juls

I would have added "under penalty of death!"    bahahahahahahahaha!

Very nicely put - I don't see how anyone can take offense to that.

I think the ones *****ally care about you will respect your wishes...the ones who like to play the devil will still continue to ignor your wishes...good luck...stay strong...you can do it...

I think your message was very clear and respectful.  WELL DONE

Fabulous job!

Nice action --- but, unfortunately the buck stops with you.

You have a garbage can, probably a garbage disposal, too -- use them ----- you can't eat what is gone.

"No, thank you" are powerful words --- I also say, "No, thank you, I don't eat that and it will go to waste" ----

You are going to have to live in a world where your children and spouse eat food that you do not eat --- whatever that looks like for you -- in my house, if my husband brings cookies or sweets into the house, he puts them out of my vision.  That does not mean he does not eat them -- or even eat them in the house, but I don't know about it.

I understand, but I notice you are post-op. I am not. If I had the kind of willpower you describe I would not need wls. I realize I can't remove all temptation & I will have to learn to handle it.

The point was that I'm finally standing up for myself. The fb post is a first step & alerts people. Obviously I will no longer accept stuff, either.

The whole pt of wls, for me, is to give me a chance to change my habits and how I think about food. Your response was pretty callous & insulting. I think you must have forgotten what it was like to live without your band. If you had, without that tool, the kind of power you describe, you wouldn't need it.