Is it common to keep your decison for WLS private?

I recognize there are some people that I consider safe and "on my team", others that are not. Besides my family, the only ones I have told is my boss (out of necessity), my 2 closest friends. I just don't feel it is anyones business.

I haven't decided post op how I will handle it. Once before  I lost over 100 Lbs AND everyone assumed I had surgery lol.. Interested in others view and experiences.

Some of us are very open while other people want to keep it quiet. Me, I told everyone. Firstly, I don't give a crap what anyone thinks about how I live my life. And the people who know me and disapprove would have kept their mouths shut.

Secondly, I knew that the reasons people lose a lot of weight rapidly are a) cancer, b) AIDS, c) drug addiction or d) weight loss surgery. I just decided to be upfront from the get-go.

I told everyone.  I felt I was making a positive decision for my health and saw no reason to keep it a secret.  Also, telling people provided me with the opportunity to educate people around me so I do not have food police bothering me when I eat.  

Some people prefer to keep it private and others don't care who knows.  It's up to you.  I find it easiest to just be up front and honest about it, but if I don't feel like discussing it with someone, I don't.  If they ask, I just say, "It's personal and I don't want to talk about it."

What you can say is you have changed how much you eat and what you eat...which is NOT a lie...it will be the truth. That way you do not have to explain that you had surgery to help.

As other said, it seems to go one way or the other. I am an open book. IF what I did helps others find their way to getting healthy, that's great...I am paying it forward for the DS.

Liz

You are correct, your decision to have WLS is no one's business. No one can understand your unique situation better then you, and I'm sure you'll proceed in the best way you can. Since you did ask, though, I will tell you that I am a very honest and upfront person by nature, and have been completely open about my situation. In my, almost five years since surgery, I have yet to encounter any negativity that was bad enough to affect me in a significant way. Refusing to discuss your surgery with certain people is an option, but as you've already experienced, opens you up to the "rumor mill". Outright lying about it will almost certainly catch up to you, and you risk losing trust/credibility - not really worth it. And make no mistake, "technical" truths, such as implying that you lost weight simply by changing your eating habits, are misleading enough, that if the truth ever does come out (and it invariably does), you might as well have been lying.

Best of luck to you - I hope everything works out!

I have not had the surgery yet.I also have a group of people that I will tell.  I have a few I would never tell. They would be  not supportive so I know they would say things that will not help me. But I asked my dietician and she told me to tell people that I am getting healthy and taking care of myself and let it go at that.My surgery is October 17th and I was nervous about the holidays and what she said makes sense. 

I was happy to share that I had weight loss surgery... as they watch my journey they can then know someone who "had wls and is doing quite well and enjoying her new healthy lifestyle" versus the typical "oh you had THAT surgery I knew someone's sister's friend's cousin's hair stylist that died or gained the weight back."

Though if you do share be aware people are watching... "you can eat THAT" (Hello Food Police, YUP I can!)  "Do you think you should stop losing now" (Hmmm well I'm working with a team of medical professionals that think all is well... want their # to give them your second opinion) and the half-assed back handed compliments like "Ohhhh you look so much better now" (Umm thanks so all those times you said I looked good you lied. Eww.)

I was an open book - so excited about getting a DS that I shared with everyone before and after.  I'm a little more reserved about it today, 8 years later, but I don't necessarily keep it secret.  

Debbie poses an excellent point about lying though, especially in the workplace.  You already know how rumors go rampant, however if your are perceived as a liar - this can hurt you professionally.  Even though your lack of truth is for personal reasons, it already puts a smudge on your integrity as a person and professional, so be very careful.  If you don't want anyone to know, then don't tell a soul at the office.  That one person you trust has another person that they trust...and so on...

Thank you everyone for your input. I am sure post op I will tell when asked about obvious weight loss. I agree 100% honesty is best and if you can be an example for encouragement and support for someone else it is a blessing. 

I work in the medical field so I know how judgmental some are of obese patients. I must confess several years ago when I was dieting with the aid of diet pills(and exercise) and lost over 100 pounds I actually remember thinking that WLS was for those who just needed to get off their lazy butts and exercise their bodies and their self control of what they put in their mouths (of course I never voiced my opinion). Especially when pts would what I perceived "brag"  that insurance paid for their surgery. I was paying out of pocket for medical bariatric visits, shots, meds and vitamins, as well as the gym fee. It is difficult to admit that I too even in the  health field was so judgmental and prideful. Ironically I always offered to take that morbid obese patient because I knew I wouldn't judge them for being obese, nor complain how hard it is to do the many tasks (like place a catheter) or every laugh over their sagging abdominal folds while assisting them to the commode.

That was several years ago, more recently I started to ask my patients about their surgery, most were very open and comfortable talking about how much they lost..I now understand how strong and how much we preserve to get to this point in our lives that we are willing to rearrange our internal organs in order to live a healthy lifestyle. These are NOT whimps, they are strong, determined loving people who are desperate and misunderstood, just like me.

Of course I was way to prideful at that time, I guess what goes around comes around. I guess part of is also a little fear of failure. I have had a weight problem since age 8. I know people will be watching just waiting for me to regain as I have in the past. 

I think once it is over I won't be hesitant to talk about it. It is the pre op period I am struggling with disclosing my choice. I will "disappear" from the work schedule for a few weeks, and most likely need to return to shorter shifts (rather than 12 hrs).

I did share with someone that I was having elective surgery sometime coming up as we co teach at church and we will need to switch some, but then she started to ask me if I am feeling ok. I know I have to tell her, as I don't want her to worry about me. She is one of those really lean people, so it is kinda hard for me to swallow my pride, I feel like I need to justify my decision and just don't feel like doing that. It is just too painful to admit years of yo yoing and what I consider failure.

I am very excited about my journey though which has started as I have met all the requirements on my checklist, and have a surgery date. I love mentoring people and feel I will be very encouraging to others one day, but until then I just feel like  people are judging me or will try to talk me out of my decision.  Thanks for all your support. YOU ARE ALL BRAVE AND HEROES. Thanks again.

PS this site has become my favorite site, I hardly ever go on fb anymore lol