ITS REAL...Newbies HEED the warning (Addiction)

I posted this on the RNY board but thought I'd also post it here as well. 

Here's the scoop - I had GB in 2009.  I was 289lbs.  7 months later I was 175lbs.  I looked ******g amazing!  I remember being addicted to OH and reading profiles EVERYDAY because I wanted the insight those who had the procedure done.  I remember vividly reading a post in this forum from a woman who warned us NOT to drink after this surgery.  It's not worth it.  She said - it's empty calories. She too - shared her story.  So here's mine.  DON"T IGNORE IT!!!!  

 Of course I was like... I am not going to do anything to go back to "fat girl land".  I wasn't a drinker pre-op so I figured - that was something I didn't have to worry about.  WRONG! WRONG WRONG!

Fast forward to late 2012.  I began going out regularly.  OF course.  When you think your HOT **** you prance around like you're above pitfalls.  WRONG.  I noticed I was drinking a regular bottle of wine every other day.  Then I got cheap and decided to start buying the 1.5L bottles of wine.  Low and behold - I was drinking a bottle EVERYDAY.  I was setting my alarm to get up 2 hours before work - just to drink wine.  I'd stay up till about 12 or 1am drinking wine.  I completely stopped drinking water at home. 

Anyway - needless to say - I'm a total drunk.  I started to rationalize my calorie intake.  (DUMB).   I would eat a lite lunch and no dinner - just so I could drink the wine/calories.  That's 1200 calories per bottle.  I won't lie - sometime's I'd drink 2 bottles.  I became embarrassed when I figured out the store clerks knew which bottles of wine I was drinking.  This one clerk said to me - sorry... we don't have any more of that Pinot you like as soon as I walked in the store.  That made me get "hip".  I wouldn't frequent the same stores anymore.  I'd drive out of my way to go to another store just so I wasn't recognized as the chick who comes in here everyday to buy wine. 

This year I became preggers...lost the baby and of course that sent me into a deeper depression.  I'd come home - sit in the same spot on the sofa - drink my life away.  What's interesting is - the word "drunk".  People say GB patients get buzzed faster.  I don't believe that applies to me.  I truly believe I loved the taste of wine - cause I can't say - I was drunk or buzzed in the "traditional" since.   But an alcoholic - YES!  

Oh yeah... I'm back up to 249lbs!  YES - that's an exclamation mark.   How dare I fight my insurance company for months just to get the damn procedure only to later **** it all up!  How dare I think I'm above those who have gone through the same thing as me and think my results will differ!  How dare I!!!!!!!!!

I'm a straight forward person.  If you are new to OH...take everyone situation as "it could happen to me".   Chances are it won't be an exact match...but you better believe we all have shared some commonalities in the postop/maintance. 

Once you get to your goal or damn near close - DON"T leave your support group.  I did.  I stopped going to my support groups and I stopped coming on OH.

Tonight is New Year's eve.  I had every intention to go out tonight - but... I'm not deserving of a good time.  I'm staying home.  This has been the year of sadness, depression and now I recogonize myself as a Alcoholic.  Opps - a FAT ALCOHOLIC!

I'm only 5 days into my decision / motivation / to fight back.  No booze for a whole week.  I've been to the gym 4 days in the last week.  Ha - I had been paying for a gym pass for 4 years and only went 7 times in 2013.  (Dumbass).

My profile is not public - BUT if you want to read my profile ( I was very active for a few years) - go ahead and request me. 

My purpose in writing this post - was to REMIND everyone...it's not worth it.  Trust me.  It's not.  

Have a safe and wonderful New Year!

wow! im not believing this! ive done the same freaking thing......im back up to 246lbs! now im on here tonight looking for help....even would do a revision if i can get it!  omg! what can we do to get the weight back off? is it too late? i even wonder if my pouch is too stretched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh!

Hi...

I'm happy to be support buddies if you're open.  I was really researching another weight loss procedure last week... I was seconds away from joining Weigh****chers online today and then I came to OH. WHERE I BELONGED In the first place.  I can honesty say ... my weight gain is NOT because I'm eating bad foods.  It's because I'm a alcoholic.  No second surgery or revision is going to change that.  I can't speak on the idea of a stretched pouch... I really don't believe my pouch is stretched at all.  When I do eat... I still can't eat alot in one setting.   My weight gain is from a full year of binge drinking.  I'm more worried about my liver being damaged because of all of the acidity in wine. 

I'm going back to the basics.  I dusted off the blender and put it back on the counter.   I've had protien shakes every morning since my kick.  I'm drinking WATER.  I've gone through a case of water in the last 2 days.  My body needed it badly!  Stocked the fridge with SF pudding and popsciles.  I've read my blog everyday over an over again.  

Mishies33 - we have to get back to the basics.  I'm attempting to relieve the first few months after having this surgery.  I didn't think twice when it came to bad choices over making the right choice.  

Accept/acknowledge that you have a problem.  Frankly - writing it in a public forum has made me feel a lot better.   I have been a hermit crab in my house too ashamed for anyone to see me because of the weight I've gained not to mention the thought of someone really knowing I'm an alcoholic. 

OH is where I came for support when I was batteling Blue Cross.... OH is where I came to seek insight from others....OH is where I came to GLOAT when I met my goals.  OH is where I'm coming because I need help and I know I'm not alone in this struggle. 

I've requested you...

Feel free to write me anytime.  

Hugs to you!

Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story... I'm sorry that happened to you, but at the same time you learned from it and I'm sure others will as well. I wish you luck and happy new year!

Thank you so much!

Happy New Year to you as well...

Please don't be so hard on yourself. I have heard of this same thing before from others. I had a heart attack at 43 and decided to make some changes. I was already obese when I gave up smoking and only gained more weight. I then decided to get a VSG. I realized after how addicted I was to food for various emotional reasons and no reasons having to do with real hunger. I no longer had anything to turn to. I can see where drinking would be that relief. I am very scared to drink at all knowing myself. Thank you for sharing your story. You can do this. Fight back because you are worth it. 

Hi...

Thank you!  I have on my boxing gloves!!!!!  I won't go down without a fight.    OH is full of life.  This is where I belong on a regular bases.  Not just because I'm struggling with something. I didn't do my part to continue to help others... I appreciate you for caring enough to write. Thank you Thank you Thank You!

Happy New Year to you!

If you need anything I am here!!!!! You got this!!!

I am so impressed with your courage in posting this.  This is a giant step for you, and one that will help someone else before (or after) they slip down the same slope.  I see someone else already saw themselves in you, so your inspiration is already beginning.  I can tell by your determination that you will kick this.  BRAVO

Hi Valerie,

Thank you!  I'm determined. OH is where I belong... I see that you too are years out and you still come around.  BRAVO to you.

Happy New Year!