Working Moms: How am I ever going to do this?

My doctor's office submitted my insurance packet last week and called me today and said it was approved and they were scheduling me for July 24th and I should start my liquid diet right away. So, I have three kids and a demanding job and there is NO WAY I can do that.  I'm scheduled to be covering my boss' vacation that week, on top of summer camp pick-ups, orthodontist appointments, etc, etc. So I asked for a September date, so I'm on for Sept 4th. She seemed surprised that I would turn down that date. (I completed my pre-op work-up in March but put things on hold when my father developed serious health problems and I needed to help out.) 

So, all of you busy working moms out there, tell me how I'm going to pull this off. I am juggling so many things and have no idea how I'm going to put them down for two weeks  I know, maybe if I ever figured out how to make my own health and needs a priority, maybe I wouldn't be here in the first place, and maybe it will be good for me and everyone around me if I start. But still, I'm SCARED!

Now I need to figure out; how do I tell my boss? How do I tell my kids? How do you ask for help? If I broke my leg or had my appendix out, I'm friends and neighbors would be offering to bring dinners over and drive my kids where they need to go but it doesn't feel comfortable in this case. I'm lucky to have a supportive husband, but he needs to work long hours. 

I will not out this off again, but please tell me how I am going to do this! Rant over!

You tell your boss, "I am having surgery on Sept 4 and need x number of days off work".  You oweNO details about what type of surgery and no discussion about it.

You ask family or friends for help, same story.....I am having surgery and need help with the kids for x amount of time.  Here is what you can do to help me.

Rides, meals, child care, laundry, housework, etc.

You can say you don't want to give details, or youcam be as vague as you want to be.  You might say, 'abdominal stuff' or say nothing.

If your company offers short term disability,you should talk to HRand get that started as soon as possible.

Generally it is a third party company who will have you do some paperwork,they contact the doctor,determine if your surgery meets the criteria, which it should, and they tell your employer that you qualify.  They DO NOT tell your employer what type of surgery you had.

You MUST put yourself first to get this done, not only the actual surgery, but the successful WEightloss .... 

What Kathkeb said about work.

How old are your children?  Unless they are toddlers, it's time for them to step up and help out - you'll probably only need help for a week or so (most of us recover very quickly!)   If they are toddlers, then keep them in childcare as you would if you were at work

You choose whether you tell neighbours - you have enough time to cook meals ahead of time for your family and your kids can get rides from their friends for a week!!!!   I was driving the second day after surgery and caring for an 11 month old baby on my own - needs must - you can do this without becoming a bariatric patient!!!

Pull together a network of people and line up some help now. I have 2 boys (15 and 11) and a very supportive husband who were a godsend. My mother also came and stayed with us for my first few days post-op because there happened to be so much going on that week. 

As far as telling everyone, you need to do that at your own discretion. My family knew I was having WLS as well as my close friends. Now if someone asks I come clean. 

Things will work out. Just remember, and you said it yourself, put yourself first! ;)

Just tell your boss "I am having surgery and my doctor says I'll need two weeks off work."

Tell your kids "I am having an operation on my tummy so I will get healthier."

Ask for help by saying "I am having surgery and would really appreciate some help."

Tell work NOW about your surgery scheduled in September so they can start planning.  I, too, set my time a couple of months out from my approval to make sure no projects were left dangling unfinished. Plan for at least a month off, with an option for more if you need it.  I believe that if you are getting STD that they may require you to disclose what kind of surgery, however you don't necessarily have to tell those at work anything more than surgery.  In fact, that's all my surgeon wrote down in her official letter about my time off.  Now, if you're going to disclose to one person at work what you're really doing, you might as well tell everyone - for word will get around and you'll blow your professional credibility.

Same thing with friends to tell them.  Just do it, for when you're losing weight they're going to notice and will talk about it.  Be clear with them and ask for help.  You're not cheating - you're nipping this at the bud.  You're just lucky enough to recognize earlier than most that you cannot do this yourself.

For the kids - keep it simple and very casual.  My son was 11 at the time and I just said "I'm going to the hospital on Monday for an operation to fix something that's not working correctly and I'll be home on Friday but will be very tired as I heal.  I didn't explain any sense of brevity or show any fears.  I asked that he NOT come to see me at the hospital.  I didn't want him to see me in such a weakened state.  I'm his rock and I didn't want him scared needlessly.  When I got home I showed him pictures of what they did and he was fascinated.  He really impressed me with how he stepped up to help, too.  He was taking my direction and doing laundry in the basement, then carrying each load up so we could fold it together, then he would place it on each bed to be put away.  Don't underestimate what your kids are capable of.  For carting them here and there, you can drive as soon as you're off pain meds, but it wouldn't hurt to put things on hold unless another parent can assist with carpooling.  

If your friends are likely to help if you had another surgery, they are likely to help with this one, or even a boob job.  Don't underestimate them, either.

I don't work, but I did have an 8 year old, 5 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and 1 1/2 year old when I had surgery.  Hubby took a week off of work and I had someone help with school drop-offs and pick-ups for an additional week so I didn't have to lift my 2 littlest in the car seats.  My surgeon cleared me to lift them at my 2 week check-up.  Honestly my surgery went way better than expected...off pain meds the day after surgery.  I was fine taking care of them a week after surgery. 

Just wanted to ditto what the others day. YOU come FIRST!  Everyone will survive with you being down for 2 weeks.  I planned ahead - planned 2 weeks worth of meals with hubby and daughter then took them grocery shopping with me. I had to let go of the control freak in me when it came to planning meals and shopping... I about died when hubby put hamburger helper and boxed potatoes in the cart, but hey... they'd eat!  When I told select family and friends my surgery date the all asked what they could do. Anticipating this I had a list prepared of things that needed or should be done in the 2 weeks I'd planned to be down and as people asked I gave them choices on what they could do to help. 

I'm 10 days post-op and am enjoying the quite time during the days since I'd scheduled my daughter for child care and am feeling much better than I'd expected.  

Thank you all for the wonderful words of wisdom. I told my boss just what you all suggested; having surgery Sept 4th and need 2 weeks off. Done, no problem. She just wanted to know that nothing was terribly wrong. I feel much more comfortable now that it has set in. I am having elective surgery and can prepare for being out of commission for a bit. I will need to take care of myself but will not be an invalid. Thanks everyone!