How do you handle negative feedback? Long post sorry...

So I had my sleeve done May 21. Only certain people know i had my surgery. I don't really see much of my or my husbands family on a regular basis so I knew that when I did it was going to be a dramatic change to them more so than my friends or husband who see me regularly. Two things have happened; I saw an aunt (who is a complete fat shamer) and had already decided if she said something rude I was going to flip. So I see her and she comes up to me all "oh my baby is back oh let me introduce you to this person and that because you're pretty again" I said what are you talking about? She didn't answer just kept spewing off. So I walked off. A little later she started again so I said if you have something to say or ask me then do it otherwise say oh you look nice and drop it. Secondly I have a cousin who had rny about 2 yrs ago. IMO she was never a good candidate for wls and she hasn't followed much of the plan eats basically whatever but thats none of my problem it's hers. So a couple weeks ago I decided to tell her. The first thing she said was "oh really I thought u were actually doing something and working out" really!! I am!!! Working my ass off following everything the dr says. I just didn't expect that answer i suppose. So we were actually at hospice with a family member so at lunch I went and got a grilled chicken salad, and she says "guess I will have one" and proceeded to load it with bacon and 3 packets of ranch etc. whatever. So dinner rolls around and I get a piece of grilled chicken and broccoli and she says to me "well I'm having so and so go get me Burger King because i actually need protein and something filling i can't just eat like this with u" first i didn't ask you to! And secondly chicken is full of protein last i checked ! Are these things to be upset about or no? 

I'm not defending your relatives, but I think you're a little overly sensitive.  Let go of the bitter against the aunt because you cannot change her, and the cousin...well...you can laugh all the way to the scale with her, and knowing already how bad judgement feels against you, don't you dare do it against your cousin.  She gets enough of that elsewhere, yanno?  You're going to set the good example from here forward.  Life is too short and you've got a lot of fun ahead of you.  Don't let people like this cloud it over.

I wouldn't be upset about it.  I'd just eat what I wanted to eat and let her eat what she wanted to eat.

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back. You did this for YOU, not them, so don't let them steal your happiness.

Or tell them they're being total ******** and THEN let it roll off you. This is probably the choice I'd make. (*grin*)

Eh **** 'em. Let them do and say whatever and continue on. Anything you say will fall on deaf ears. Let them stew in their own misery.

You teach people how to treat you - either let it roll off you or shut it down!   I have NEVER had a negative remark about my weightloss or my surgery because I just don't invite it.  I'm very clear with friends and family as to what I find acceptable - it's not that I don't ask for advice, but I don't want to hear it if I haven't asked for it!!!

I don't know how old you are, but it took me until I was in my 40's to learn this - I hope you get to do so quicker than me 

Same as posting on OH, if I put a subject "out there" I will accept all and every opinion - if I feel sensitive about something, or I don't want to hear anything negative, then I don't share - very simple rules!

Thank you all. A part of me does care what people think but a big part does not. My husband says the same thing basically screw anyone who has a bad opinion of my decisions as long as I am ok with them. And trust me I'm not embarrassed about my surgery it is simply that my family members are down right rude! Which I can handle i just have anxiety about these things because I have an 8 yr old daughter and they will blurt things out infront of her. Ie: my aunt would say something like "oh my how big are you now? Oh that weight doesn't look good on you you need to lose it" or my brothers "hey chubby girl" etc my daughter i don't feel is old enough to be told about my surgery as of yet and I don't want their nonsense influencing her. So i just avoid them lol. However i do find myself telling more people than I had originally thought I would. Which makes me feel better :) 

I guess mainly it was just for me anyway it seems the people who should be easiest to tell (my family ) are the hardest because they are so judgemental. But my friends accept me for who I am.