New Journey for me Soon, Please give Tips, Advice etc.

huskergalWsD
on 3/12/15 12:14 pm

Been dating a man for 5 years now. We are going to move in together. Buying a house. Not sure how long this will take. But I'm feeling very scared about regaining weight while living with him.I panic when I gain 5 lbs. You get in this relaxed mode as couples do when living together. I've seen this happen with my 30 year old daughter and my 38 year old son. Both have gained a lot of weight with new relationships. This is what scares me.I am afraid we will fight about food.I cannot fight with anyone, it raises my blood pressure and that's not good with my heart condition.. He dosent eat the same as I do. He is health concince Spell check? But has his little treats around the house which are tempting to me. I feel comfortable in my routine with food for my daily lifestyle. However he eats more fatty foods than I. He is physical every single day, even days when he is not at work, his job is very physical, always at the farm helping his friends and going places than require lots of physical work,  He rides his horse every chance weather permitting. Rides for hours on trail rides, he constantly burns calories so he eats. He is a size 36 pants which i am proud of him for maintaining at 60 years old. Is good most of the time what he eats. He still has some bad things in his house that tempt me. He likes to have his Chocolate covered Cranberrys in the cubbard. He leaves the fat in the hamburger when he makes his own homemade chili. I drain the fat off mine.I cant ask him to remove his treats, he does burn off what he eats. I don't exercise as much anymore since I injured my knee. I cant be around them kinds of foods. Dont move in with him until we get this under control first, right?. Sounds logical but I don't want to live alone anymore. I am doing things that don't keep me on my toes as I am aging. I find myself looking in the frig for my hair brush, lol. Many times. NO , I am not moving into a nursing home.LOL  We are great together 80 % of the time. A good team other than the food issue.We do , do some walking together when we get a chance, him more than me. Since my knee injury I don't do as much as I used to. I can still walk. I don't want all the temptation of his food habits. He works hard so I understand his wants for those few treats, he can afford it.  

Has anyone else this far out Post Op as me went through this same situation? Any tips? Thanks..

                              
7stents (2003)...Heart Attack(2004)...Open Heart (2004)....Wls (2007)...Heart attack 2012...1 stent (2012)...Heart Attack (2013)...Heart Attack (2013)...1 stent(2013)
~~~Best Vitamin For Making Friends  B1~~~

Gwen M.
on 3/8/15 5:05 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I'd recommend couples counseling to figure out how to handle all of this. You'll both need to adapt!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Maria27
on 3/8/15 5:44 am, edited 3/8/15 5:45 am - Chicago, IL
RNY on 03/17/15

I am still pre-op, but one thing that has helped me is making a food shelf for my husband in the cupboard. I picked the bottom shelf so that I wouldn't see what was down there without bending over. I put any food my husband likes that I don't want to be a part of my diet down there, and it helps me forget about it. I just avoid looking down there as much as possible. You could pick a different cupboard or a place that you have no reason to look, and tell him to keep his treats there. Then tell yourself that spot is off limits. Life is short. It may be a challenge, but you can find a solution that works for both of you if you really want.

Height: 5'5" HW: 290 Consultation Weight: 276 SW: 257 CW: 132

hollykim
on 3/8/15 6:12 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On March 8, 2015 at 12:00 PM Pacific Time, huskergalWsD wrote:

Been dating a man for 5 years now. We are going to move in together. Buying a house. Not sure how long this will take. But I'm feeling very scared about regaining weight while living with him.I panic when I gain 5 lbs. You get in this relaxed mode as couples do when living together. I've seen this happen with my 30 year old daughter and my 38 year old son. Both have gained a lot of weight with new relationships. This is what scares me.I am afraid we will fight about food.I cannot fight with anyone, it raises my blood pressure and that's not good with my heart condition.. He dosent eat the same as I do. He is health concince Spell check? But has his little treats around the house which are tempting to me. I feel comfortable in my routine with food for my daily lifestyle. However he eats more fatty foods than I. He is physical every single day, even days when he is not at work, his job is very physical, always at the farm helping his friends and going places than require lots of physical work,  He rides his horse every chance weather permitting. Rides for hours on trail rides, he constantly burns calories so he eats. He is a size 36 pants which i am proud of him for maintaining at 60 years old. Is good most of the time what he eats. He still has some bad things in his house that tempt me. He likes to have his Chocolate covered Cranberrys in the cubbard. He leaves the fat in the hamburger when he makes his own homemade chili. I drain the fat off mine.I cant ask him to remove his treats, he does burn off what he eats. I don't exercise as much anymore since I injured my knee. I cant be around them kinds of foods. Dont move in with him until we get this under control first, right?. Sounds logical but I don't want to live alone anymore. I am doing things that don't keep me on my toes as I am aging. I find myself looking in the frig for my hair brush, lol. Many times. NO , I am not moving into a nursing home.LOL  We are great together 80 % of the time. A good team other than the food issue.We do , do some walking together when we get a chance, him more than me. Since my knee injury I don't do as much as I used to. I can still walk. I don't want all the temptation of his food habits. He works hard so I understand his wants for those few treats, he can afford it.  

Has anyone else this far out Post Op as me went through this same situation? Any tips? Thanks..

I guess if I felt I HAD to move I. With him,I would start buying larger clothes. 

 


          

 

Kathy S.
on 3/8/15 6:56 am - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

I have not experienced this but me personally we would have to work this out to my satisfaction before I move in with someone that does not respect my new life style.  In the long run you "know" it won't work or you will be back to where you started. Good luck

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

White Dove
on 3/8/15 7:39 am - Warren, OH

Only a problem if you truly believe your hairbrush belongs in the fridge.  I moved in with a guy, started gaining weight and went back to living on my own.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

CerealKiller Kat71
on 3/8/15 11:10 pm
RNY on 12/31/13

You know, I am a food addict -- that said, my husband still has all his snack foods in the house. I did tell him that Raisinettes are really hard for me -- and he has ceased ever buying them unless he is at the movies. Maybe I am alone in this, but I really don't think the rest of the world should cater to my eating? I mean, I am the one responsible for what I eat, not my husband. I guess it would be different if he was pushing me to eat the same things -- he never does that. He has asked if certain things bother me, and I am quite certain that if I said yes, that he would not eat them. But, why should he have to do that? I mean, in the real world, people aren't going to alter their eating habits to accommodate my addiction. Perhaps this doesn't work for everyone -- I don't know? But, geez, my husband is 152 pounds and 5'10" -- why shouldn't he eat something he loves!! He's lucky! I am happy for him.  

I have been with my husband (my soul mate and best friend) for 17 years.  

"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat

Ihearttennis
on 3/8/15 11:41 pm - LA
VSG on 04/24/13

I'm with Kat.  My family continues to eat what they want and I have my own cabinet with my special foods.  If my husband is eating his favorite cookies and I feel tempted I go to my stash and pull out an Atkins or Quest bar.  I do the shopping so I try to buy them things I know they like and that aren't trigger foods for me but I believe I have to rely on MY will power to make good choices.  (Nutella hasn't been in my house for two years!)

"Whether you believe you can or you can't ....you are right! " by Henry Ford

Laura in Texas
on 3/8/15 11:54 pm

No one can force you to eat what you do not want to eat. You are totally in charge of that. I am not married but the rest of my family does not cater to me. We have junk food around the house but I choose not to eat it. Personal responsibility.

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

huskergalWsD
on 3/9/15 4:00 am

All good advice, thanks so much for taking the time to give me your time on this matter.

                              
7stents (2003)...Heart Attack(2004)...Open Heart (2004)....Wls (2007)...Heart attack 2012...1 stent (2012)...Heart Attack (2013)...Heart Attack (2013)...1 stent(2013)
~~~Best Vitamin For Making Friends  B1~~~

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