Head vs. Heart

Keep posting, don't run away cuz some of the answers you're getting you're interpreting as negative. Believe me some strategies that you're using now will change as you move further along. Sure in the beginning you can avoid temptation, not go to restaurants, not have tempting foods in the house, stop watching commercials on tv about all the good food you used to have but can't/shouldn't eat. You can also live in a cave in the mountains somewhere lol 

All kidding aside you'll see as you move along you'll have to adapt & change to keep the weight off, & what worked b4 might not work later. You'll find these things out down the road. Your friend is in a different stage of her life than you are, & is trying to find a way to get past these struggles we all go thru at some point.

The reality is that there's a lot of food in life.  For me, it's better to get away from the idea that "sabotage is all around us" and to get into the mindset of "I control my choices."  

I'm not going to avoid talking about restaurants with people, or ordering the new Michelin guide for DC (omg, so exciting), or keeping tabs on what new restaurants are opening in my town - because these things are a fact of life.  I'm not going to pregame holiday meals, because I know there will be things that I can eat at the gatherings I go to.  

For me, living a life of avoidance does not "cure" my addiction.  For me, I am "cured" when I can cope with exposure to my addiction yet still maintain my control.  

Edit: 

And I'm really grateful that none of my friends have tried to police me in the way you did to your friend.  

This is a great conversation to have with yourself. Print this out. Tape it to your bathroom mirror You may get to a point where you have to read it DAILY! Maintenance is hard. Super-hard. Way harder than losing. Of the friends I have who had weight loss surgery in 2008, when I did, not many have kept it all off. A few have even gained all their weight back. My heart breaks for the people who are losing the battle and I do hope they can find their way back to better health again.

This is a great idea! I know that this is going to be a hard row to tow! I have read post of people gaining back there weight. I don't want that to happen to me and my friend either. Just know that I wasn't judging her I am concerned that she may not see the pitfalls and follow her head and not her heart. Thank you! I will take your advice and run with it. Have a great weekend!

You think you know how hard it is going to be.. So did I in 2008... I HAD no idea how hard the maintnace is. 

During losing - I could cheat and get away with it (if you don't consider getting sick from bad choices). 

Now - not so much. 

I understand you have good intentions...but before you judge another - walk in their shoes for a mile or 2...if nothing else - you'll have their shoes and would be at least a mile away...

Some days I think it is harder to resist temptation now, post op WLS than it was when I was MO...

It would be ridiculous for you not to post again because you don't like some of the responses to your post.  You'd be selling yourself short, missing out on a lot. 

Whatever and whenever you post something on the internet, some people will like your post, others may dislike it, and others may have a different opinion.

I've learned more on this site than anywhere else.

I wasn't ready to get beat up for posting my view on this subject. I wasn't judging my friend. I never told her what I thought, She doesn't even look at this sight.  My view is Surgery is a drastic step to take and if your going to go through with it you need to give your self the best chance to succeed. I know that later down the road your head will start to cooperate with your heart and it will be easier to be around things which in the past might cause you to stumble. I don't expect her to be a saint with food. Her OMG post on FB was because she wants to go there and have some ice cream. I don't forsake her the ice cream but for me looking at food pictures, seeing recipes, knowing that the Sugar plum express is just around the corner while I'm on my pre surgery diet may cause me to tumble down the hill. I know I have a lot more to learn. My friend most likely will be able to help me in the future too. I wasn't throwing stones at her. But neither did I need to be persecuted for my views. I hope she is able to overcome temptation, and I will be there for her if she needs me.

Thank you for your understanding it has made me feel better. I will continue to post, I won't let there opinions stop me! I hope you have a great weekend and wonderful success with your journey.

. I know that later down the road your head will start to cooperate with your heart and it will be easier to be around things which in the past might cause you to stumble.

O boy... I honestly hope this will be your case... I now that as stuburn, strong and dedicated I am - it feels like it is harder now than it was when I was losing. I am at goal ...and it is so hard to not give to "but I really don't need to lose, and gaining a lb or 2 would not be so bad either" and grab that piece of cake or pizza... And I've done that...and the next day it is more difficult to not to do again...

My man is my rock...when he sees me doing some mindless "food grabbing.." he gently asks me if I am sure I want that...for me - it is not the weight gain I worry about - but my food allergies, and intolerances...that can cause a severe pain if I give in to cravings. And even with that - you would think it was be easy to stay away for the "forbiden fruit"...but it is not...it is hard...very hard...and my head is in right place...and I still have "fuck it all" moments... Tired to be on a freaking "can't have this or that diet". I have been doing it for 7 years... The maintnace ...I and the longer I am at it - the more difficult it seems at times. 

I'm still trying to find out exactly when you were "beat up".

Some people chose not to agree with your post and mentioned why it's best to keep your eyes on your own side of the street.  But "beat up"?

If you really feel that any of the posts in this thread were mean or abusive (enough to "beat up" another poster) then you probably should take your own advice and not post anymore.  Because it gets a little hairy in here sometimes and frankly based on this thread and your responses you truly may not be ready to engage in some occasionally lively adult dialogue.

The people posting the opinions you don't like are all post ops with experiences you know nothing about yet.   They're not being asses, they're just trying to stop you thinking you're going to do this easily while your friend is not.  This journey is lifelong, it has no end until we die.

12 years out, I still don't think I know everything.

I hope you see sense and unblock them, you're missing out on a wealth of information by people who will tell you the truth, and not just feed you what you want to hear.