I've been given this superpower. Now, can I use it for good instead of evil?
This weekend, my girlfriends and I went to this concert and a guy I had a crush on in high school was there. I haven't seen him since then. I went up to him and asked if he remembered me. (BTW, I was on my way to a good buzz...) He did, and I said, "Man, i had such a crush on you in high school." He goes, "Oh, i ****** up. You are so hot now!" LOL. This vengeance is so sweet!! But then he started texting me, saying he wanted to meet up, etc., and I was like, "Whoah!" Not gonna happen.
Then we went to another bar and my younger nephew's friend told me I was looking really sexy these days, etc. It was totally crazy.
Problem is, I'm not sure I trust myself. I have never cheated on my husband, but I don't know if I trust my new body and persona. Sigh. Who knew?? Don't know if I want advice, but more wanted to get this off my chest to my peeps who I trust the most...
on 7/5/11 12:12 am
If I were my former weight, how would these guys treat me?
I think you know the answer.
Your husband, who I'm guessing was with you before the surgery, has proven his love for you no matter what you look like. His love for you transcends the physical. That is rare, special, precious, and you're married. Remind yourself of the vows you've taken.
While it may be fun to get attention, never forget who you are, where you came from, *****ALLY* cares about you. Remind yourself "where the FUCK were all these guys when I was at my full weight, I was just as wonderful a person back then. If I wasn't good enough for them back then, then these "boys" aren't good enough for me NOW."
If they continue to sext you after you make it clear that you're married and not interested, if they presist tell them it's not cool and that their future messages are being sent to the trash bin.
This is what I do whenever someone cute tries to flirt with me. I also cut them off early and let them know I'm married and not interested.
I was single when I had WLS and stayed that way for the better part of a year. I went "haywire" myself for a good 6 wks casually, um, "dating", and I gotta tell you, it gets boring quickly regardless of how physically "good" the encounter was. I say that, b/c in the end, it really all just is about sex and there's so much more to making me happy.
I think what you're feeling is completely normal, I would argue, even expected. You just have to keep in mind all the points that BusyBee mentioned b/c it really is the bottom line in your present and future happiness.
The other point I would say in the "attention-factor" . . . I never stopped liking it, but the novelty does wear off in time. You'll get used to it.
HW / SW / CW / GW 299 / 287 / 160 / 140 Feb '09 / Mar '09 / Dec '13 /Aug '10
Appendicitis/Bowel Obstruction Surgery 8/21/10
Beat Hodgkin's Lymphoma! 7/15/2011 - 1/26/2012 
Ran Half-Marathon 10/14/2012
First Pregnancy, Due 8/12/14 I LOVE MY DS!!!
Thank you for your very honest and wonderful reply. You are so, so right. Where were these ******** before? I do love the attention, but love my husband even more. He was with me through "thick" and thin, literally. I just needed the words to say to cut it off at the beginning.
Thank you so much for your response!!
on 7/5/11 1:05 am
Once I remind myself that these guys were nowhere to be found 85 pounds ago, it actually makes me soooo mad at them for flirting with me that I find myself clenching my fists :) The problem I do have is remaining polite if they persist after I tell em I'm married and not interested (LOL, almost punched one guy in the nose!!)
Another thing that may help:, tell your hubby repeatedly how wonderful he is and why, give him plenty of smooches, snuggles and other things :)
Honestly, I was concerned about this before I had my surgery, that I would go wild and end up divorced. Ha ha. What it actually has done is strengthened my bond with my husband and we are so close now, so much more than before. He is so wonderful and I just need to remind myself of that when these fellas show me some attention.
IRONICALLY, on that note, my boss just came up to me about 15 minutes ago in the break room and told me this funny rumor. (Not really) His wife filed for divorce a couple weeks ago and the rumor is he's leaving her for his blonde court reporter. I laughed and did make a comment about it being funny because I'm happily married. He knows that himself and said he knew I would get a laugh out of that. He said it's funny how small town rumors start...
