It's a good day..why bother posting?

vickiang
on 1/19/06 11:02 pm - Austin, TX
I love when I wake up feeling "clean"? I stopped asking myself a long time ago why, oh why, when it feels this good, would I ever stuff myself until sick with junk food or drink myself silly on the mother of all denial drinks, vodka and Crystal Light. It is what it is, and it is my choice today how I want to live. So easy to eat that cobbler downstairs, or if I had it in the house, fix a drink and chill, conveniently forgetting where it takes me: to a 370 pound drunk who does nothing bu****ch TV and think about what she should do. (mentally doing the dishes doesn't count!) Silly as it may sound, when I can't get to the gym, like today, and am housebound, posting here at least keeps my mind along the right track. It is WAAAY too easy for me to "forget". After all, car's in the shop, house is a mess, it's gloomy outside-just perfect for a bag of chips and a movie, right? NOT! I post here this morning and even though you can't see me and really don't know if I'm shoving a doughnut down my gullet now, I know. And if I lie, this would cease to be a place where I could be open and honest; be myself, most of the time w/o judgement. It keeps me accountable. Dang, and there's that 1/4 cobbler downstairs!!!LOL I actually just threw away the candy in the dish because I am sick of picking at it all of the time. What a concept! I am worth more than the $1.99 I spent on the candy, starving children in India and all! Yesterday I actually crushed the little bit remaining tortilla chips and tossed them. Guess if I was desperate I could eat the crumbs, but I don't go there anymore. Still tend to graze, though. My exercise today will consist of ironing a bunch of draperies, cleaning the frig (ugh! visions of green fuzz!) and cooking din din. I'll get some stretches in there, and if I really stay on track, I have a set of free weight which really should be more than wall ornaments. Happy Friday everyone! We're supposed to have a garage sale, but just looked at what Rick and Gordo consider trash and there's lots of stuff in there like new slipcovers. Guys! I cleaned the garage for you honey! Sure, just chuck everything in boxes, seal them and hope I won't miss anythikng. Hmmm...come to think of it, maybe that's not such a bad approach! Vicki
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