OT or maybe not OT

I haven't posted here for awhile, so some may find it strange I am letting it all out.

Eight months post-op and my marriage is over. I believe my physical change since surgery was what pushed our relationship over the edge. I've gained some self esteem which changes what you want out of your partner. I was expecting my wife to ravish my new body (complete with abs and muscle tone), yet she withdrew and decided to look elsewhere. I don't know if she cheated on me, but the graphic text messages don't lie.

She lost her BIG guy, her BIG teddy bear. I wanted her to become healthier, go to the gym with me and stop smoking. It has just came to point we are worlds apart. So we've decided to end out 16 year marriage. Since we have no children, it's all about the material life we built together. Our beautiful home and furnishings to be sold or sorted. It is going to be really hard on both of us.

Sorry to air out my dirty laundry, but I needed to share with those that can understand.

J 

Truly sorry to hear about your marital breakdown Jason.   Undoubtedly it was not the outcome you were looking for when you began this journey.  Take care of yourself and don't let this ruin your achievement to date.     Not sure if you considered it or tried it, but perhaps counselling for the two of you would work or even for yourself to help you cope if there is no recovering the marriage.

Hi Jason

Not that this is going to make you feel better....but its not uncommon for post WLS marriage difficulties....

I am so sorry you are experiencing this....especially after 16 years.....

Dont turn to food....( not that you were planning on this)......you are going thru....and will continue to go thru alot of stress for many months to come.....hang in there ok?:

I am sorry things didn't work out Jason. People are who they are (and I am taking my own advice here) we can not change another human being we can only change the way we react to other human beings.  It sounds to me that your wife has her own self esteem problems to work through.  I hope that you are either able to work things out OR part ways peacefully and without too much resistance.  Good luck! 

Change can be a real biatch!  Sorry for the turmoil you will go through, best wishes for the new beginnings!  

Jason venting here is way way better then consoling yourself with food. I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage.

awww J...I am so sorry!  Truly.  Relationships are so hard in general and I can fully understand where you are coming from.  Its an investment in time and effort and when it ends it feels such a waste and it hurts more then anything. 

My husband and I struggle every single day for our relationship... He has bipolar disorder and it is honestly an every day struggle... we seperated briefly and it was such heartbreak because of all we had invested in eachother. 

I pray for your peace of mind and understanding and a smooth transition!  Hugs.

Julia

Jason, I'm really sorry to hear about your relationship!  I'm sure you're going through a difficult time!  Please remember that food won't help!!  You've come to far!  You've worked to hard!  Remember how good you feel & loo****specially if you see abs and muscle)

one day at a time!  

Sylvie

 

I'm really sorry to hear that Jason.

I hope you can find some peace in this.

Hugs.

Hugs, Jason. I'm so sorry that things didn't work out the way you expected them to.

 

(just on a side note.. you have abs??? so jealous. Mine are there, i think, but quite hidden)