Conundrum

The following question goes on the assumption that I will be accepted to the program, and surgery is forthcoming...

So, I have my last 2 appointments ( Psych and Nutritionist) coming up in July. Then comes the meeting with the surgeon, hopefully in August? Here's the catch: My wife is pregnant with baby #5 (other kids are 1,4,6,8), due Mid-October. Assuming, ever so arrogantly, that I'll be offered a surgery date before then, do I do it? Or wait until my wife has the baby?

Your thoughts?

Has your wife been very consistent with delivery dates or delivered early?  Since you have 4 children all very young, then unless you have a surgery date by the first week of September, I would postpone my date until end of November or beginning of December.

 

Good luck with the timing.

 

Judy

I think you rally her family and your family and make a tentative plan. Best case scenario, you can both spend time at home with a new baby Get as much support as you can on board and take it as it comes.

Hi, I just finished with the dietition etc in Guelph and I was told that my surgery wouldn't be until the beginning of September.  That might help with date times if you are going to Guelph. Best wishes, Sue

Keep in mind you will not be able to lift anything including children for at least 6 weeks.

That right there is my main concern. I do it post-baby, I'm basically telling my wife she's on her own with the little ones. We've always shared the duties equally, and I want to be fair to her. By the same token, if I have the surgery, say, mid September, and she decides to do this one different (ALL the babies were late), and she goes into labour while in my first week or so post surgery...not good either. Aargh!

I had a similar situation. Mother having Cancer surgery, daughter-in-law hospitalized with third baby (only 24 weeks) in three years and I was needed for child care.

I had my Green lights March 20th from the doctor, nutritionist and Psych.  Then surgical class April 26th.

Here I am May 20th.  Still not received a call from the surgeon and my Mom is recovering nicely and has a good out come from here procedure, my daughter-in-law is out of hospital and staying with her Mom with the kids, everyone is happy and healthy.

I took comfort in the fact that I could stall my procedure if I needed to up to 6 months if things were difficult and things did not turn out so well. 

I talked to my friends at support group and asked them what they thought.  The answer was the same from everyone.  Stay the course. This process takes time and if the timing is off stall it a bit, but don't stop keep going.  

It is a good time to let go of some control over the situation and allow things to happen for your.  Start all your strategies now so your weight loss journey can begin now and the surgery is the last tool you get for the weight loss.

 

I think that you will have lots of time to make that decision at long at you make your plans along the way, you should be fine. Remembering you won't be able to lift the children for a while after surgery.

congratulations on that posse of children!!!

what does your wife say? (she's the boss. lol)

I agree with Monica, talk to your wife about this.  And if you have any family close by on either side, enlist their help.  Also, enlist your older children to help.  You'll be amazed what they can do when they need to.  Even your 4 year old can help.  Even if it's getting a bottle out of the fridge, grabbing the diapers, entertaining the 1 year old when needed etc.

If you do go for surgery before the baby comes,  Make meals ahead and freeze them.  Fill your freezer then your wife just has to re-heat them instead of spending time prepping them.

You'll work it out,

Cathy