For those at or near goal - career question

reliena
on 1/4/14 1:48 pm - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

This is a question for those who have got closer to goal or have been their "small size" for awhile. Do you find, now that you've been in your "new body" for awhile, that you have begun thinking about a different career? I'm 30, and pre-op, but because of perhaps the most tumultuous year of my life, I'm finding myself at a career crossroads, where I am considering not continuing in my profession (I'm a theatrical costume technician). Since losing my main job in April, I've been drifiting between temp office work and short term costume gigs, and then the last two months I've been full time caregiver to my stepmom who is terminally ill. It's hard to think about, but I know that soon enough she is going to be gone, we'll have some time to grieve and settle things, but then I have to get back to making an income. We've already dipped into savings.

I suppose I ask this question because I'm asking myself a lot of "what should I be doing with my professional life" questions, but a lot of the answers will probably feel different when I'm near my goal weight. Some of my career paths could involve further education or at least particular effort, and I'm wondering if I should just leave those big picture questions until after I've adjusted to a new lifestyle. I was pretty slim about ten years ago, and I know that I carried myself with more confidence to perhaps do more outgoing, people oriented jobs.

So maybe until then I should just keep temping or get some kind of inte******* that pays the bills, and leave the big career questions until well after surgery. What do y'all think?

shoshanaApr2013
on 1/4/14 6:39 pm
First of all, I think it's really great that you're taking care of your stepmom. Care giving for someone who is ill, elderly, or has special needs is a difficult task, but so incredibly important, meaningful and valuable. You rock!

What kind of careers are you considering? What would be your dream job?

Referral: Apr 2013; Orientation (HRRH): Aug 12, 2013; 1st Surgeon Appt (Dr Sohi): Aug 23, 2013; SW/RD/RN: Nov 8, 2013; Internist (Dr Glazer): Nov 14, 2013; 2nd Surgeon Appt: Nov 20, 2013; Start Opti: Jan 3, 2013; PATTS: Jan 16, 2014; Surgery: Jan 24, 2014

reliena
on 1/5/14 12:30 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

I find that my answer to that is pretty complicated. My dream job would probably be to design costumes for wonderful shows, be fairly paid and not have to be on the road half the time, and overwork myself. But I know that that is just not a possibility with the lifestyle I have in mind (a successful marriage, being a present mom... though we're not married yet and kids are waiting until after the doctor clears it).

So it leads back to my feelings of waiting to decide, because there are definitely things I might want to do that would be more easily done if I had the confidence of a healthy body.

4-Jane
on 1/4/14 10:32 pm - Canada

Seems like a good time to embrace change, pay the bills but returning to school sounds perfect, good luck with your complete transformation.

ps this is just my two cents worth?.....

 Respectfully Jane
reliena
on 1/5/14 12:33 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

Thanks Jane, I think your two cents is probably right. Last night when I couldn't sleep I did some hypothesizing about the debts we could pay off even if I just have a regular, if somewhat meager paying job. All my work in theatre is sporadic and definitely not something easily calculable (for when I'm asked "what's your salary") so it actually helped just to look at what we could pay off if I had a "jill job".

I cringe at paying for school, but it's probably got to happen, so I guess I should be pretty sure of what I want to do, first!

Chelsea1
on 1/4/14 10:37 pm - Canada
So the short answer for me is yes. My opportunities and possibilities are endless. I still have 40 lbs to go but my confidence in my abilities have gone through the roof!

It sounds like you're doing some soul searching which is awesome and I encourage you to explore what you may want to do.

I actually applied at Le Chateau as a part time job because I love fashion (shoes) and thought I would fit in...not stand out.

Take a leap of faith.

    
 

    
reliena
on 1/5/14 12:37 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

Chelsea, that is awesome! A part of me has a lot of fear that outside of temping (where there is no interview) and continuing with costume work (where I'm known to be good at my job), a lot of places might not hire me because I'm obese. I can't wait to have the freedom to say "I can apply anywhere!" I was even thinking that if I still don't know what to do when I'm getting to about size 16, I might apply somewhere like the Gap, just to get discounts on basics! Haha.

Congrats on NSV of confidence!!!

Katie M.
on 1/4/14 11:06 pm - Georgetown, Canada
RNY on 10/18/13

I'm so sorry to hear about your stepmom's  condition. As someone else said, what you are doing to take care of her is an amazing thing. I can't even imagine how emotional it must be. Caregivers don't get enough credit, and it's not something many of us could do! I'm sure Carol is forever grateful to have you there with her. 

Even though I am nowhere near my goal, I am definitely going to switch up my career. I have a long way to go but I feel so much better now than I did three months ago that I'm starting a course in the spring so that by the time I'm closer to goal I'll be ready to start a new job. If you're not totally happy with what you're doing, or you feel like there's more out there for you, go for it! We all need to pay the bills, but I know so many people that are going back to school in their 30's and 40's because they are looking for something more out of their work life. If you have an idea of what you'd like to do, start researching schools and tuition etc and keep it on your back burner until things settle down a bit. And after surgery you can decide whether you want to start school closer to goal, or just when you start feeling good. But definitely when the weight starts to come off you will find yourself taking opportunities and trying all kinds of new things you never thought you would :)

 

Referral May 2013 / orientation at TWH June 27 / nurse practitioner July 3 / social worker August 19 / nutrition class August 26 / nutritionist August 30 / psychologist September 3 / meet surgeon (Dr. Penner) September 20 / PATTS October 10 / Surgery October 18 2013!  

    

    
reliena
on 1/5/14 12:44 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

Katie, that is so fantastic to hear! I am so thrilled that you have done so well already. I have checked out your tumblr a couple times (though I don't have one myself) and it seems like you are really happy. Also dig the hot guys ;)

Doing some research is a really good idea. There are so many avenues to take, it would be better if I did some solid background checks. In my younger days I would jump into things without considering exactly what the lifestyle was like, which is how I ended up in costumes. I think you have to have a rich partner or be extremely frugal to do it as a lifelong career! I'll start a folder of career/education ideas. Thanks :)

reliena
on 1/5/14 12:26 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 05/06/14

Thank-you everyone, this is just a response to the caregiver stuff: I actually feel lucky to have been in the position to help, not just her, but my Dad, who while amazing and pretty helpful, was not cut out to be a sole caregiver. Being there enables him to provide what he can (romantic love, putting smiles on her face, doing the little stuff) and to continue to work, which keeps him sane and of course, the bills paid. I do keep thinking that if work had worked out for me a little better this year, I might have not been able to do this for them and for me. So for that I'm thankful that I am a bit of a career mess right now!

 

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