ARRGGG!!! Family

Anyone else out there has a family member who thinks only their opinion and voice are the only ones that need to be heard. Well since surgery, i've had a few minor complications and have been in and out of hospital for the first 4 months. I share an apartment with my sister so, she knows when i'm sick and stuff and when my appointments are and such. Yes she was there the day i had my surgery and mind you, i didn't see her again until day 5 when i got discharged, and as for the other 3 hospitalizations, i only saw her once after i had a second surgery to repair some adhesions. She will say she's scared to drive the 35mins to Guelph, bla bla bla or she has anxiety. I constantly hear her try to put her two cents in how i eat or how much(mind you, i'm following the plan), when i eat and such yet, when i try to educate her about the surgery or include her in my stuff she says she doesn't care.

She always says i took the easy way out, or i cheated and she even says it in front of some people we know and when i get upset, she say's i'm over reacting or being too sensitive. I've come to the point that i've started not to tell her when i'm sick or a test result comes out abnormal. She is the only family member i have in Canada and considering what we've been through since we have lived together for a while, i thought she'd be a little more supportive. She says she is supportive yet, when i try to give her incidents when i feel she wasn't there for me, it's like armageddon. She blows a gasket when she hears something that doesn't agree to her. For example, she quit smoking a few months ago and was upset that i didn't ask her about her feelings and what she's going through, so i asked her if she asked me what i went through with my surgery and of course you guessed it, she told me that all i had to do was lay there and everything was done. SO i said fine, if you don't care, i don't care.

Fast forward to today, i've had some very bad stomach aches since last friday. Saw my doc who ordered an urgent CT which is scheduled for next Tuesday(don't know that could be considered urgent that far out). I'm contemplating going to the ER in the morning seeing as i can't spend the whole weekend in pain and i haven't even told her my plans yet. Anyways, instead of asking me how i'm feeling seeing how much pain i'm in, she said, "did you read about that woman who killed her self after she got terribly sick after GBP?" I sh*t you not. She then went on to say that "i told you not to do that surgery, you could have lost the weight on your own. How did i lose my weight?" In my mind i just said, i know how you lost weight, not eating and drinking every day, that's how. She literally ate almost next to nothing for a few months bar some meats and she only had 50-60 pounds to lose(which she still hasn't lost) compared to my 200+ lbs. I could go on but, that could take forever. Anyways, i think i'll go to the hospital in the morning as it hurts too bad and not getting better and i wouldn't be surprised if i have to drive myself AGAIN. I guess i just needed to rant and get it out of my system about how some people can be so self centred, family being the worst.

Anyways wish me luck and hope that it's nothing serious.

I'm sorry you have a crappy sister.... I have 2 of them, twins so they gang up on me!! They suck!! Lol but as much as they suck we still love them. I have come to realize it works much better for me if I have no expectations of them at all.... That way I don't get disappointed. Don't worry about her, just worry about getting yourself back to 100% healthy!!! Go yo the hospital and get checked out!!! Let us know how you are doing :)

Yeah i've come to the point where i just keep my thought and comments to myself. If she wants to put up a fight i just ignore and move on as i know i'll never win no matter what, lol. It's sad really that you can't be close to the sister you live with. It's come to the point that it's time to go our separate ways :( but, it will be better for my own health and sanity.  Well thanks for your concern and i'll definitely let you know what the doc says.

I feel for your girl!  I too have some very boisterous and overly vocal family members (1 sister included) bombarding me with theirs negative opinions about my choice to have surgery....and I haven't even done it yet!  It is rough having to feel like you have to tip toe around their emotions...fear being number 1.  And with the person being your sister, it is even worse because you have an emotional connection with her.  One thing is for sure...you are strong and have worked hard and have been successful as a result!!! No one, not even your sister can take that away from you!  I encourage you to continue to seek support from the places who are encouraging, and loving towards you!  Check out my blog and some of the wonderfully supportive comments people have made in response and message me if you'd like.  Keep pushing on girl...This too shall pass!  

Thanks girl. Like they say, whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I've been through so much emotionally by myself and it has made me a very strong woman who doesn't rely on anyone for anything and this too shall pass. I shall continue to work hard for me and no one will bring me down, not even family.

Aside from the ****ty sister and her ****ty opinions (time for a new roommate), definitely seek help if you're not well! I hope it's nothing serious - keep us posted.

Thanks Karen for your, like the way you think. I'm off to the ER, will let you know how that goes.

Is it financially possible for you to live on your own? If so, sounds like it might be about that time.

Sorry you're going through this. If that's not possible, then maybe try to live as separate lives as possible under one roof.

Well i was trying to get a better paying job so i don't have to share another apartment. I'm also in the process of applying to nursing school so, once i get my OSAP, i'll probably to get something for my own. We've been distant for a while now but, it doesn't work all the time. It will get better and hopefully i can move soon.

Hang in there! I know its easier said that done!! I have a sister who isn't quite like that, but a challenge nonetheless!! We expect family to be supportive and that isn't always the case! You always have the forum!!