Yes, I *do* only read certain posts (and here's why)

Someone mentioned to me in a PM this weekend that it seems like some of the vets only respond to certain posts or to certain poeple.  After some further discussion/clarification/explanation with her, I thought it might be useful to share it here as well.

I can only speak fro myself, but I know that other vets have similar thoughts.  Yes, although I am on here a fair amount sometimes (it is easy to read and respond to posts while watching a baseball game) -- and then not much other times -- I am very selective about what posts I read.  Although, yes,  I am much more likely to read ANY post by one of the people I have become friends with on here over the past few years, other than that, it has very little to do with who the poster is.  It generally has to do with the topic alone. 

First of all, reading every post here is not just feasible for anyone unless they have NO life. 

If the title of the post even hints that it is about someone being frustrated with their "slow" weight loss early out or about being stalled at only x weeks out, I do not even open it.  I have been here long enough that I have simply lost patience with the question that appears at least every other day about early stalls.  There are tons of posts about it if peple search, yet it still comes up.  I have already answered it a bizillion times, so now I let people whom it does NOT frustrate answer it. 

If the title of the post indicates it is about "numbers", I usually do not open it.  I think that the almost obsessive focus on OH with "the numbers" (weight, BMI, clothing size, etc.) can be psychologically unhealthy.  We are more than our numbers and the inevitable comparisons do nothing but make people feel bad...  so I choose not to subject myself to those comparisons and I choose not to participate in them so as not to subject other people to them.

I also do not generally open posts from people asking what to eat when or asking for suggestions on what to eat early out.  The simple fact is that I am almost 4 years out and I don;t remember exactly what I ate for the first 6 months, so I let people who are not as far out answer those.

I also do a limited amount of exercise because of the severe arthritis in my knees, so I only rarely open anything that is related to exercise.

There are certain post topics that I always open even if I do not reply.  These are the ones that either I have significant knowledge about (e.g., blood clots)  or are "hot button" topics with me (e.g., dispelling the nonsense about carbonation stretching the pouch, for example (there are some very legitimate reasons for not drinking soda post-op, but pouch stretching is NOT one of them!).

It is very rare for me to avoid posts based on who wrote them (although there have been a couple of exceptions to this).  The bottom line is that I (and the other vets as well, probably) try to open posts where I think I might have something useful to offer.  If that appears to be based on who authored the post, that is purely coincidence.

Lora

Lora - I think you speak for a lot of the vets here.  Now, I dont come to this board on a regular basis, but when I do I find this board very active and its impossible for me to open them all, read and respond to them all.

Lora, you totally speak for me.  I actually still glance over the forum every day but there are very few posts that actually catch my eye and I open because I think I might have something to contribute.  I feel the same way you do about most posts, and since I never reached a "goal" weight nor got into single digit clothes, I have no desire to read about people who do.  I'm at a stage now where I'm still working on me but have very little patience to deal with the same questions every day.  I know I was once a newbie and constantly asking questions, and I couldn't have done as well as I did without the help of all you vets, but frankly, I just don't think I have much more to say then what others have already posted.  So I am very selective in what I open up and even more selective in what I respond to.  Though I do admit that I almost always read posts by the folks that I feel have become my virtual friends over this last year and a half, unless the subject is really something I don't know anything about like your last post asking about ulcers.

Jan

I dont blame you....

Im not even a vet and I find it curious that people post the same messages over and over.  Sometimes a person could post the slow weight loss message right on top of a person who just posted theirs not even a couple hours ago.... so I really dont blame you at all for being selective.

I have found that the search on this forum web site works really well.

 adding my 2 cents..... For the vets that have much better things to do, we newbies can fill the void. I think it helps to have someone in the same boat or maybe with just a few months under his/her belt to provide the peer-support that people seek. I talked to someone in my support group recently about something very similar - those who have "advocacy burn-out" from being so many years out and talking about their experience for so long but don't want to leave an educational void in the general population about RNY; well, others can step up to fill that void! 

Exactly!  Someone who is 6 months out is in a much better position to offer comeraderie to someone struggling with early-out issues than I am at 4 years out.  I can offer assurance (or warnings!) as far as how things will likely turn out down the road, but that is not the same as "traveling the road together" (which is why some of the vets have close relationships with each other... because we DID travel the road together).

It takes us ALL to make this forum a success!

Lora

i so totally agree with you

I tend to do a similar thing.  I pay attention to the subject, not the poster.  Just like anyone else in the world, I'm interested in some things and not so interested in others.  I'm also knowledgable about some things and not so knowledgable about others.

Poop doesn't interest me too much.  I'm not into exercise and don't know much about it.  I've never had an ulcer and don't really know anything about them.

I know about protein, but sometimes I just get tired of talking about protein shakes.

I am interested in vitamins.  I know kind of a lot about NSAIDS and why we can't take them because I have some back problems that make me really wish I could take them.

Anyway, if you post about how you haven't pooped in three days or want to know what to do to fix your ulcer and I don't reply, it does not mean I don't like you. 

hi all i have not had surgery yet and just a lurker.i dont post much but i have to agree with the vets some of these post are annoying did you not have to see a nut because they tell you what you can and cant eat everyone sergon is differant so why ask someone who has a total differant surgent follow your plan noone else.and half the time the same post was made withen hours i try to read alot to learn but there is no need to read all when most are about the same things

Scratching my head. Hope that someone continues to respond to my questions by helping me and not judging me as "poster" and not responding.
Anyhoo, have a great week all.