I posted earlier about having an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow for a meds evaluation.  I've been clinically depressed for many many years, and every time I go off my meds, because I think I'm "better", within 6-8 months I'm back to square one.

Anyway, why is it that it's such a big deal to be on meds for mental health?  If I were insulin-dependent diabetic, I'd be on insulin.  If I had any other medical condition, that required meds, I'd take them.  It's almost a sub conscious thing that I feel that I can do it without the meds.  But, I can't.

Is it just me???  I know I don't even have to tell anyone about it.  I just know from years of experience, I *think* I get better, but without the meds, I am NOT better.

This is all coming to a head because of my having had surgery.  I can no longer eat to stuff my feelings. It's not even a consideration.  So, being unmedicated, in addition to not being able to stuff/eat my emotions, things got really bad over the holiday weekend. 

I just needed to put it out there...needing encouragement, or support, or I don't know what....

I am glad you have an apt to talk to your doc about all this. and the fact that you know you need the meds is a a good thing at least I think so. 

Praying your doc finds the right meds for you and that you can be happy and love life again. I am here if ya need to talk. any time

I am a social worker and I work with mentally ill adults with diagnoses of depression, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder.  It is VERY common for people to go off meds, back on, off again, etc. for years.  I am sorry you are feeling there is a stigma attached to taking meds for depression.  I guess I really don't see it as any different than a diabetic who needs insulin, a thyroid cancer survivor who needs levothyroxin, or any other condition that requires medication to control.  When you take your meds you are doing what your body/brain need to remain healthy.  So many meds out there have negative side effects and if you are experiencing any you really need to talk to your psychiatrist or MD about them, especially if they contribute to your reasoning for not taking the meds.  You have a chronic condition and it requires you to take medication if you want to remain healthy.  I hope you are able to find it within yourself to do what you know you need to do.  You are worth it!

I am also borderline personality disorder diagnosed.  And axis 4 depression??? (is that a diagnosis?  I think that's what it is...)  Anyway...  *I* don't think of it as a stigma, but I think subconsciously there is a stigma....I know I need my meds, now, and won't go off again.  It's just been a very hard road to this point!  But, thank you for your reply!

 The idea of "not needing meds" is something I can SO relate to...I'm not sure why I would do that either.  When the antidepressants were working (I was taking them), I would soon convince myself that I was "cured" and didn't need the meds anymore. Soon enough, I would be in a very bad place (usually the hospital) and would then start my meds again.  I'm not sure why, but I was finally able to accept that I would need to continue these meds probably forever.  It is just much harder to measure the need for antidepressants until it becomes way serious...not like measuring blood glucose and correcting with diet or meds.  

Exactly!!!  I also think I need to journal this episode to refer back to when I think I'm "cured" again!  Thanks for taking the time to answer.  The support is much appreciated.

You are not alone....I also have felt like I could get off of them and tried to but I would need to go back on within a week or so as I began to feel anxious and sad.  I too thought it was a placebo type of effect...you know the question you ask yourself..."i probably feel sad since I know I'm off the meds."  The meds do work though (for me anyway).   There were times where I would be a become easily sad and then I would realize I hadn't taken my pills in a few days.  

I hate the stigma too.  Definitley not something I talk openly about to people.   Just my Mom, Sis, Husband, and 1 friend (who's also on antidepressents).  

Much luck to you with your appointment!  Make sure the doctor is also a right fit for you.   You deserve to feel comfortable talking to him / her and deserve attention to your questions.   I also hope you have someone to talk too :)  You are not alone :)

Thank you....sometimes I think I'm more alone than I really am, because I do not reach out as often as I need to!

I have a different situation but I understand how you feel.  I went on antidepressants after my surgery.  I had two kids after surgery and had sever post pardum after the second one.  I did things like scream at my 5 month old for hitting the spoon when I was trying to feed her and that was when I realized I had a problem and sought help.  I know that I have to have the meds because I can see a difference in my attitude and behaviors after only missing one day of meds.  My mother on the other hand does not understand why I need them at all, yet she is diabetic and knows she must have hers.  I have tried to explain it to her but she just does not get it.  I will pray for you that you do not "relapse" again when you are feeling better.  I know that it is hard to deal with depression but remember that we are all here for you and you are not alone.

Casondra

To me it makes sense that when we feel better for a while, we think maybe we don't need meds anymore.

You know how when you get sick and go to the doc and get an antibiotic and you're supposed to take it for two weeks?  But after one week you feel just fine?  And how many people don't bother finishing the whole prescription since they feel better?