I am in the process of getting revised from the band to RNY.  Today, I was watching the Today Show during the Hoda and Kathie Lee part and they had a woman who had lost 145 pounds all on her own.  And of course, they feature people all the time who have been successful with doing it on their own.  So I wonder, why the hell can't I do it?  But time and time again, I've tried and failed.  But even though I know this is the best route for me (and perhaps the only one), I still feel a little bit like a failure.  I'm absolutely positive that I'm not alone in this, but it's so present with me right now I wanted to vent a little about it.

The thing that is motivating to me is reading other people successes!  Especially when I see pictures.  The transformations are so incredible, and I can always see in their faces who has been able to really integrate their new bodies into their emotions.  It reminds me that although the weight loss can be rapid, the emotional work still needs to be done.  I'm so glad I have a really good shrink who I've been with for awhile and will continue seeing post-op.  

Barb

There are all kinds of reasons why one person might be able to lose weight without surgery and another might need surgery in order to lose much weight.  And one way is not better than the other.  What's best is whatever gets it done best for you.

Think of it like this.  I have a couple herniated discs in my back.  I've tried going to  physical therapy but my back still hurt, all the time.  It would wake me up multiple times each night.  Now, some people can recover from severe back pain by going to physical therapy.  I had to  have epidural steroid injections.  I needed medical assistance.  Do you think I'm a little bit of a failure?  Would it have been better, or would I have been a better person, if I did not need medical treatment for my medical problem?

Obesity is a medical problem.  Some people need medical help.

Perhaps the reason you see people on TV that were able to lose large amounts of weight without medical assistance like surgery is because it's so unusual.  I mean, if it happened all the time, it wouldn't be newsworthy, right?  So yeah, some people can do it.  Most can't.  So you're normal.  That's not such a bad thing to be, although of course avoiding surgery would be nice if we could.

 Kelly, you really put it into a good perspective for me.  Thanks for your words of wisdom.  And I hope your back has gotten better.  

You made a good point about the people who are featured on TV.  And the contestants on the Biggest Loser are at "the ranch" with trainers who encourage and monitor them all the time.  Most of us can't afford to have that in real life, but for those who can make it work, I know it's helped many other people.  

So, now, I'll get the help I need.

Mahalo nui loa!  (Hawaiian for thank you very much)
Barb

Besides the personal trainers and constant support from the other contestants, keep in mind that while those that win or get close to the end of the show do lose lots of weight without surgery, many people get voted off - and they are typically the ones not losing as much weight.  Not all of us could even lose that much weight with the personal trainers  and everything on the ranch.

My back feels better right now.  Steroid injections. It's good to know when to seek professional help.

Sorry, I am not impressed with people who lose a lot of weight on their own.  I've done it dozens of times.  Really.  I cannot count how many times I have lost 75+ on my own, at least 5 or 6.  What I am impressed with is a person who has lost a lot of weight on their own and kept it off for at least 5 years.  That is a rarer sight then a speckled coco bird.  The fact is I see far more people with long term success at keeping weight off who have had WLS then who haven't.  It is like cancer.  What matters is the long term survival rate.  They say a person has about a 5% chance of keeping off the majority of weight lost on their own for 5 years.  If I had cancer and heard those statistics I would start planning my funeral.
I am far from there yet but that is when I will consider myself a success, when I can say I have kept the weight off for at least 5 years.

My two cents.... The Biggest Loser is a great show but it is really unrealistic. These people work out up to 8 hrs a day and are in a very controlled environment. They have a few that have won and gained back all their weight plus some. We've all lost the weight and then gained it back and 10 of its friends (pounds). With my health issues I can lose 5 pounds in a week and then gain 10 the next doing the same thing. Yay, hormones and insulin resistance! I really feel that obesity is a genetic trait. So I take those shows with a grain of salt. If being cut open, having my inside played with and having to follow a strict diet the rest of my life is the easy way out, Id hate to see the hard way.

 I have a neighbor down the street from me who after having her 4th baby lost about 125 lbs.  She basically started avoiding carbs, eating protein and she  dropped that weight like crazy.  Plus she exercised all the time.  I about dropped when i saw her the first time.  She said to me that i could do it too if i wanted to.  Ummm NO i couldn't.  I just didn't have the energy to do it.  I mean i was on WW for like 6 months going to the gym and working out 2 or 3 hours a day, sweating like a pig and eating decently and in that 6 months i lost like 30 lbs. Once i quit that i gained 50 back.    I blame my age....my screwed up low metabolism and my genes.  Can't change genes.  Like those commercials on tv..."i quit drinking soda and dropped 2 lbs, my husband stopped drinking soda and lost 40 lbs."  lol  Metabolism.   Men have it and we don't...lol  this neighbors was younger than me..had 4 kids she was chasing around and doing things with constantly.  I am older...my kids are grown and besides that even 10 years ago in my 30's i couldn't have lost it.  My long term goals can't be kept by me..lol  
So i go day to day just knowing that i tried the best i could BEFORE surgery and couldn't lose the weight and needed the tool.  If not for this surgery and MY power using the tool i would be very heavy for the rest of my life or until sickness of some sort hit to help me lose the weight.  

 Thank you for all your responses!  I needed to hear this.  I didn't realize how much I would feel like a failure going through this process, although I knew the possibility was there.  And it is no doubt that my metabolism is almost non-existant so the surgery is really the only long term solution.  

I so appreciate the support!  

Aloha,
Barb