Tired of being invisable!! (revised

Thank you for all the responses and I am looking so forward to the day!!!

Im sorry for the missunderstanding.  I am Pre-op and was just curious how people dealt with others that treated them this was after losing.



 How did everyone react to those that acted like you were invisable before you lost weight but now that you have lost they don't act like this anymore?

You know, it's very easy to get angry at that stuff, but here's the reality.

While, yes, we may have been more invisible before surgery, part of that may have been because we wanted to be. I know plenty of big women who command attention, date the finest men, etc. They pronounced themselves and so they were seen. Others did not. They walked quietly, kept quiet, did not make a commotion.

Conversely, when people lose weight they tend to gain confidence. Their stride changes a little along with their demeanor and THAT might be what folks are now reacting too. Remember, we work off each other's energy. If you give out energy that you are happy, want to meet people, if you smile at others and don't look down when people smile at you...folks tend to be drawn to that.

I'm not down playing discrimination against obese people though. I know that we were treated differently. What I am saying is that at least part of that, in my humble opinion, had to do with how we presented ourselves to the world.

For me...I can say my personality plays into being seen. I like being noticed. I even like being oggled. I feed off that stuff. So I was quite happy to be "discovered." I didn't think of it negatively nor did I think that was a "diss" to my former self. Before I lost the weight I dressed down, didn't talk to people much, didn't want folks to touch me. I had walls up. Now they are down. People notice me and I notice them back.

But I can understand how the thought is upsetting. Just remember that people noticing you now doesn't mean they thought you unworthy of notice before. And you weren't unworthy of notice before. It sucks though, to see the difference.

 Thank you, however these are close family I am speaking of. Kinda sad!!  But I do understand what you are talking about. 

Well how is the way they are reacting now different from how they reacted to you before?

With family, your weight loss is likely to bring about a lot of insecurity in them. That's to be expected.

You can either let it get to you or choose to NOT let it get to you, the latter being the harder path of course.

 I agree with Nik.

Well....Now that they're looking, give them something to look at and envy I say. Wear a great outfit, nice shoes, awesome earrings, and stroll in like a model on the runway (well I'd skip that horse clop they do now-a-days). Grab this joyous time in your life, and live it up. Don't make their issues yours.

Kat

I always wore the nicest clothes I could find and fixed my hair and make up as best as I could. I still do, but now people notice a lot more. I find the extra attention unwelcome. I can't wear my hair different, or wear a new top, or new shoes without someone gushing over me. There was no gushing when I was heavy. I like to look nice for ME, I don't really care to attract attention.

 I say Celebrate YOU! No matter what else is going on with anyone else! You know what it took to get where you are! I would take them noticing you as a huge compliment! They e noticed your hard work...and it looks great on you! I agree with Nik too! I'm sure it's an adjustment for you, but try to enjoy the positive attention!