I just learned...

something about myself. I was totally obsessing about how I am going to get this 50 lbs off. I was driving my fiance, Pete, crazy with "Well, maybe this would be better, or this is what they (meaning you guys) suggested." Finally just a little while ago Pete pulled me up, and forced me to go lay in bed with him so he could hold me. Before I knew it I was bawling and then sobbing I couldn't catch my breath. One thing I learned from this experience is that I am the type of person that needs to really cry sometimes to feel better.
The biggest thing I learned though, through my bawling babble, was that I am terrified that I am going to fail. All I have known with my weight loss is failure. I start out so positive, excited, and dreaming of my success, and before long I've failed another attempt. I'm am completely and absolutely terrified of failing this because I am so tired of the pain both physical and emotional. 
I am completely ready as far as I have absolutely no problem giving up "my best friend" by which I mean food, but I am terrified that I will sabotage myself. 
For what I have to lose 50 lbs is nothing, but at the same time it's everything right now. I do feel better after releasing some of that tension, and I feel like I can finally look at this objectively. My plan is to really pray and meditate today and tomorrow about what plan I should follow, and once that decision is made I will follow that plan till I have to do the liquid diet no matter how long or short it takes me to get the 50 lbs off. Anyway,   I can't thank you enough for listening to me vent. Talk to you later. I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday so Pete's making me take a ride. He thinks it will be good for me to get out and breathe some fresh air.  As you can tell I love smilies lol. Ok stop babbling Sarah. lol Be Back later.

Hi, I just read your post, and I believe you can and will get there...Seems like to me you have a lot of support already.....Now all you have to do is believe and have faith in yourself...God didn't bring you this far to leave you....

I know what you mean.....my problem is believing I'm worth it.  When I read all the success stories and see all the before and after pictures it makes me happy.  I get a small little glimmer of hope that one day that could be me.....but that glimmer usually fades quickly and I know nothing that great could happen to me.  I've done the Richard Simmons work out tapes through the years and he always says "Your worth it"  I never understood that 15 years ago but I know why he says it now.  A good part of us with weight problems don't believe it.  Hope the drive raises your spirits!!

We have all failed at diets before.  That's how we got to where we are.  We can lose weight for a time but then our old habits come back and we gain it back.

The great thing about RNY is it gives us a tool to be able to get the weight off quickly and to limit the amount we eat so that we can control the food instead of letting it control us.  It gives us the ability to be able to exercise when we may not have been able to at the higher weight.

I think you received some good advice in your prior post on how to get the weight off.  I did a 6-week liquid diet (Optifast) prior to my surgery and I lost 30 lbs.

I think we all battle the thoughts of failure. I know I did. Just stick to the plan and it will be okay.

What a supportive thread to read! I fear the same things constantly and bless our support systems for their patience, sigh... It is critical to release those tensions and emotions. It's also important to go back to our reasons for having surgery - the whole "I'm worth it" concept doesn't sink in overnight. It takes time to undo all the hateful self-talk..but it is possible! I'm so thankful for everyone on these forums who are so generous with their caring and thoughtful advice! Group hug! Hee hee.

I know exactly how you feel Sarah, but like someone already said, so does everyone else here.  Thats why we all had the surgery.  I was so afraid of failure that I only told a handful of people about my surgery because I had failed the preop diet years prior.  I had to loose 20lbs pre op but was able to loose 36 in just 3 months.  I used my fitness pal, that may be a resouce you want to look at.  Good Luck Hun

I think regardless of where each of us begins on the scale, it's a matter of just taking it one day at a time.  One meal at a time.

Here is what I did to lose my 10%.  Maybe it'll help you. :D

1.  Watch portion sizes.
2.  Try to cut out fried foods (this was the HARDEST for me -- love me some french fries and crispy chicken sandwiches)
3.  Bump up proteins.
4.  Start doing what you can to exercise.  Start with a 10 minute walk - at least 2x/week and then start increasing your time, distance, and frequency.

I also tried to cut out starches like pasta, bread, potatoes.  I fully admit that I didn't do as good on my pre-op diet as I should, but, just by being more mindful about what I was putting in front of my face, it really helped me.

Wishing you all the best!!!

Darlin' there ARE surgeons out there who can, and will, do WLS on your RIGHT NOW, without you having to lose one ounce. Losing 50 pounds is a big deal, and there's simply no reason you should have to suffer through this. If you want advice about surgeons who specialize in us bigger gals, come over to the DS board.

You're going to be just fine. I think that we all have gone through the phase of being sick and sometimes depressed over our weight. I know that I am. I get to see my surgeon in two weeks and get my surgery date after that but before I have surgery, they want me to lose about 10% of my total body weight which is not a little bit of weight to lose in one month. So I hear ya and I am more than familiar with what you're talking about. Sounds like Pete is a good support system for you. Thank God for that.

We all need to vent. That's what everyone is here for.