I hate being this way!!!!

I had RNY two years ago in March.  I loved the way I looked at 135 pounds.  I am up to 145 and I totally hate myself to the point I won't even look in the mirror.  I had breast implants and that caused me a few pounds but I can't seem to get back to where I was no matter how hard I try.  I really want to get down more I still look fat!

I'm sure you already know this but you are going to have to go back to the basics....portion control..protein first...and burning more calories than you are consuming.
Best of Luck to you

Hating yourself isn't going to help.  It is 10 lbs and great that you are using this as a tigger - 10 lbs is your limit.  Your metabolism may be slowing down - can you look at some muscle building exercises?  I understand that more muscle will increase your metabolish and might just be enough to keep those 10 lbs in check.

I really have to ask what all the hate is about over 10lbs? Get out your pre-op photos and your pre-op jeans and put it in perspective. I know I kept my size 34 curtains, oops, I means jeans.

It's 10lbs and admittedly a few are from the implants. It's great you want to lose the regain and stay at your optimal weight, but the self-loathing is even more important to lose. You had the surgery to not only look better, but feel better and live a more normal life and you achived that too. Feel good about those achievements, and the amount of weight you DID lose.

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Please don't  measure your self-love or self-respect on how you look in the mirror!  Look at how much you have accomplished losing the weight that you have rather than on the few pounds you have gained.  I think it is expected to regain a certain amount of weight, but if you want to lose a few, you can do it.   Personally, when I get down on myself it makes it way too easy to use it as an excuse to eat badly.

Perhaps you need to be a little more 'impersonal' about it and look at it as a job.  Your job tomorrow is to go back to basics and get an exercise plan together.  Have you tried the 5 Day Pouch test?  That has always helped me get back on track. 

Do yourself a favor and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself so much you are going to do your best to lose those few extra pounds.  Try the positive rather than the negative and I guarantee, it will go sooooo much easier!

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing!

As some of the others have said, such intense self-loathing (that would take you from loving yourself to hating yourself over just 10 pounds) is concerning, so if you are truly feeling as you posted, my first suggestion would be to seek out a counselor to help with that.

At 2 years out, you have pretty much lost your caloric malabsorption, and are at the point where it is common to regain a few pounds and you may have to permanently adjust what you are eating in order to avoid the weight creep.  You are also at a point where you may have allowed your portion sizes to creep up and too many extra carbs to slip in.  

When you say "no matter how hard I try", what have you tried?  Are you tracking what (and how much... double check your portion sizes) you are eating? How mich proteinndo you get per day?  How many calories?  How many carbs? Have you increased your physical activity?

Lora