I know , I know, but I can't seem to get past it!!

I know that too!!! In a way. I definitely have a problem. The Doctors both surgeon and PCP tell me how well I am doing. My surgeon is extremely pleased. When I went for my almost 6 month check up I was so disappointed that I had not lost more weight since I had seen him at 3 months. I thought I had done poorly. He said what do you want?  You've almost lost 150 lbs. I don't know what I expect from myself. Apparently too much. Its a problem. I always want to be at the top of the class. Do really well. I am somewhat of an overachiever but that being said if I try really hard and don't do as well as I think I should I will give up. People who know me don't think I am a quitter. They don't think I am lazy, but I am. Who I think I am and who my friends and family believe me to be are completely different. I am going to see a therapist when I get back from vacation next week. I have too.
Please don't let me sound ungrateful for the weight I have lost. But let me tell you I feel like you do about your weight loss. I feel like it is slow. It doesn't make sense to the rational mind. I know in mine I have done well. Its the emotions that get us in trouble though. I too have a man at home that has emotional problems. He is a alcoholic on top of that. He makes comments all the time about my weight loss. They don't even have to be negative but they feed my fears and frustration. He can ask have I lost any more weight and I take it as an accusation of failure to loose weight. My own thing. Never feeling good enough no matter what I do or how well I do.
Sorry if my whining seems out of line. To me it is a real thing. Maybe not to my rational mind but to that little voice inside that says I am never gonna make it, that I am not good enough, that I should have done better or more. The voice that has always been with me setting me up for failure time and time again because nothing I do is ever good enough for the voice. I am my own worst enemy. No one has to beat me up ever I always do it myself. That is why I need therapy. Thank you for your concern and your encouragement!!
 I believe God will see you through your rough patch with your job or rather lack of one. He has a perfect plan for all of us and is faithful to stand with us as we walk through it. I will pray for you and thanks again.

 Well shoot!  I didn't catch that.  Well, yes, you need to talk to a professional.

I wanted to go back and redo this....because it does seem like I'm being a totaly bytch.  I'm not...part of it is my own lack of good losses...I thought at my weight, I'd be pretty close to 60 loss and I'm not plus add in exercise that I absolutely abhor doing...like you i love the feeling when I'm done but making myself get up off my behind and do it is another story. I do it...but it's not everyday like I know I should be doing....I do something but not at the intensity level I probably need to be at now.  I'm just up to 8/10 of a mile in 30 minutes and I'm continually talking to myself to get through it.  I started out barely making it up the street 2-3 houses at the time, finally got to the stop sign, then the short block and then the whole block but it's only 8/10 of a mile so I'm going to have to increase it this week again. 

I sent you a friend request....I hope you will consider it...there's so much more I think we could talk about and share and maybe make both of our lives bearable. 

Hang in there sistah!! It's a journey not a destination!! :)   Enjoy the ride!

((((Hugs)))))


Sherry

I will definetely accept the friend request and you did not sound like a b_tch!! I just read a post about someone who started out a few pounds more than me and is 2 months farther out but is already in the 100's. That me want to b_tch a bit. I am very happy for her but it feeds the anxiety! Thanks again Talk to you soon.
I needed a hug!!!

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry that you are so stressed and worried about the numbers on the scale. Unfortunately society has reaped a whole crapload of negativity on people who do not resemble the women and men on the glamour magazines and on tv.

Please know that when you finally reach that 'perfect' number on your scale you will then find something else to 'obsess' over. Hair? Nails? Eyes? Nose?...it does not end. There is something mentally wrong and I HIGHLY recommend seeing a dr. to help you.

You are alive, you are getting fit and healthy with your exercise and you could have it SO much worse. Please get help now, don't let life pass you by like this....life is so short as it is.

*warmest hugs*

Your right the obsession does steal life away. In so many ways. You are also right about finding a different obsession. I am already starting to obsess over all the loose skin. I have a Humongously, huge panni that hangs down half way to my knees and I obsess over it all the time. I feel like no matter how much I loose, how fit I get until that is gone I will not be satisfied but then I will obsess over my legs. They look horrible too. Cant really tell right now cause my panni covers them. The list can go on. I realize that. I promise I am going to seek help even though I am some what afraid of it. Weird huh. Thanks for your concern and kind words.

You had surgery the week before me & I've been dealing with the same thing for about a month now. This is the first semi stall I've had so far, but today I weighed & was down 5 lbs. I didn't let those numbers going up & down bother me as I knew this would happen eventually. It will move in the right direction again, just be patient & give it time & continue to do what you are doing. Best of luck to ya!

Well I hate that you have been on a stall as well. I am glad that you can handle it so much better than me. I did not work today so I have not weighed today. I am sure it is the same. I think I might just wait and weigh in about a month. Surely something will happen by then if not I will have to talk to a professional about something I can do to get it moving again. I have talked to my pcp and surgeon and neither seemed concerned and told me to keep doing what I am doing and that I was doing great.

When u hear talk about the 'head stuff' this is exactly what they mean. Your surgery is working great. Your weight loss has been far above average but your stall (likely a natural response to your super-rapid loss) is messing with your mind. All those issues that have probably plagued you your entire life are now surfacing. I am SO glad to hear you are going to hook up with a therapist. Honestly, you sound like a sensible, introspective individual who is open to her issues. I suspect you will do very well in therapy. I would also suggest looking for a local support group. 

I wonder in the end if this stall isn't a blessing in disguise. If the scale keeps dropping, you may not have any motivation to work on these head issues and they WILL surface at some point. Better to start dealing with them now so that your LONG TERM success happens. 

You are NOT alone. Most of us have some sort of issues that need work. I think your posts have identified some of yours. 

All the best,

Andrea

Thanks so much I actually called my insurance company and told them what was going on and asked if they could give me the names of some therapists close to me. They found a few very close and they are paying 100 % of it. I don't even have a co-pay. I called and made my appt. I go Sept. 18 right after I get off work. I do feel level headed for the most part. I also am well aware of most of my issues and know all the crap I dealt with as a child. I know that I am affected by it I just have never been able to figure out how to get past it. I have forgiven everyone involved. I don't feel like I hold on to things. Anyway that what a therapist knows I guess.
Thanks for the encouragement and yes all things work for good through Christ, so your are right this is probably yet another of my many Blessings.