How can I reassure my husband???

 So...  I am married to my best friend and I truly love him more than anyone can ever imagine.  My husband Jeff has been super supportive of my decision for weight loss surgery and even attends support groups with me and doctor visits.   He knows I need this and is completely on board.  But he is very worried about me losing weight and then leaving him.  I tell him over and over that we will be together always, but he has doubts.   Some stupid people have even told him (jokingly) that I will leave and of course that doesn't help!

The fact is, I know this happens.  I know my life will change and all that.  But I know for sure how I feel about him and our marriage.  We have a good marriage and I don't see that ever changing.  I feel that some marriages have ended and because the marriages weren't that strong to begin with.  One reason I want wls is because I want to have a baby with my husband.  My weight has left my infertile and we have gotten through some pretty tough times dealing with that and miscarriages.   I know we can get through this but I can't make him believe me.   Any advice from those who have gone through this?

Thanks!

Well - this is kind of a tough one because you can't change how someone else feels.  He is feeling insecure and, of course, change and the unknown results aren't helping that.  I think if you continue to show affection and tell him the things you love about him -  little things throughout the day as you progress -  that will help him. But I think he sounds like someone who has to 'see it to believe it'.  He may not feel comfortable until you reach goal and are still there for him.  I agree with you - I think if a marriage goes south there was probably something underneath and the weightloss was just something that made a person more confident to do something about it.

Some counseling might help. If you have a pastor, they would be helpful. I think most men get a little insecure with all the changes.

My husband has the same fears.  When i started researching and asking him about it he said he was all for it with one exception--that i not leave him.  I laughed and told him that my weght isnt what is keeping me with him. If i wanted to divorce or leave him i would now- all 300lbs of me. hahaha  i am with him because i love him.  lol  that seemed to calm him down.

Me and my husband have the same issue I was wondering if more people had this problem.  I keep telling my husband i was thin when we got together and i loved you then what makes this time any different

You've already tried to reassure him.  You can't make him believe you.  Some couples counseling might help, but if he is very insecure, he might benefit from some counseling on his own, as well.

Yes, some people lose weight and then leave their partners.  And some people stay fat and leave their partners.  It sounds as if there is no reason for him to think you would leave him.

I would encourage you to show him what you have written here...

As well, you might want to explain to him that the type of insecurities he is expressing are not fostering a positive outlook for your marriage, and you would  very much appreciate if he would please stop.  Let him know that his focus would be much better served fostering a good marriage outlook rather than turning a good marriage into a doomed one by fostering nothing more than what are his own insecurities.

Then haul his butt off to the bedroom and show him how much you love him and where your loyalties will always be. 

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I think it's normal to have fears but I just want him to realize that I am doing this for him too.

 My husband doesn't have insecurities but my neighbor tried to tell me when I lose this weight I will be able to find someone new. It hurt me so much! I couldn't believe people think I would leave the man who married me and my fat. My husband put a ring on it and promised to love me forever,he deserves to have a hot wife ;) not the men guys who made fun of me or ignored me. Another thing that has brought my hubby together more is explaining my stages, dumping, restrictions and keeping him in the loop it makes him feel that he is helping me. He is also over weight and has been dieting with me so we both get healthy. I also had the surgery to make a family with my hubby. Good luck!