Surgery Monday and SCARED!!!

I've been looking into surgery for many years, first saw the surgeon 2 years ago.  Now, here I am, scheduled for surgery on Monday morning and I feel just sick with anxiety and fear!  I'm not completely sure what I'm afraid of, otherwise I could try to rationalize with myself.  It's just this primal fear or something.

My gut just keeps telling me that something is not right....that it's not safe.  My gut has usually been right when it's come to my son's medical care (he was born with kidney failure, lots of surgeries, dialysis, kidney transplant, autism), but I know a LOT more about his condition than I do about this surgery or what things are going to be like.  I know everyone is different, but that fear of the unknown is just eating at me.

I'm at my parents house now (we live 3 hours from the hospital my surgery will be at), maybe that is making it more real....or maybe I just don't have the things to distract myself with that I do at home.  I keep grinding my teeth and chewing on my tongue.  It's getting really frustrating!

I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.  I do have severe depression and anxiety (and some OCD thrown in) but of course my therapist is back home, and I won't be seeing her until I get home probably 7 - 10 days after surgery (according to the nurse).  I know I can contact her by phone through the help center, but I don't want to "bug" her about this.  I feel silly for being this scared.

I've had other surgeries, even donated a kidney, yet this is the one that is eating at me.

Anyone else deal with this sort of panic at the last minute?  I sure hope I can get my brain to turn off and go to sleep tonight.....not sure I will be able to sleep tomorrow night!!

Thanks all.

 We all had last minute panic.  I was terrified, then woke up after surgery and realized it was not a big deal.  If it were not for the little incisions, I would not have believed that I had surgery.  I felt the same as before, just not hungry anymore.  I never had any complications and still feel great five years later.

I just got home Friday from having my surgery on Wednesday. I was up the entire night before trying to remain calm. I just tried to think about other things and talk with my friends till it was time to go. I was still pretty anxious and when they came to get me to take me back to surgery I started crying and asked my husband to take me home.

They gave me something to calm me down but they weren't able to do so until I had spoken with the surgeon and understood fully what was going to happen. I was going to have my lapband removed and I rememberd the first time they strapped my arms down before I was asleep. This really frightened me so I made sure to let them know to wait till I was asleep to do anything.

I think if you share you're concern they'll give you something to ease your mind. After I woke up I was in discomfort but they're really good about keeping the pain meds coming to keep you comfortable.

Do you think the fear is knowing that the food aspect of your life is going to be very minimal? Most of us being overweight, our world revolves around food. Knowing that is coming to an end is scary in itself. Maybe that's why you're having so much anxiety with this and not with the other things? Just a thought.

I'm sure the big change in eating is a big part of it.  Although following the pre-op diet has been fairly easy, even when I've been really depressed, but I know in the back of my mind I keep thinking....I won't be able to eat this again, or I won't be able to eat that for a very long time if ever.

Last night my parents were watching the food channel!!  That really was kind of upsetting because I was feeling really hungry and of course my Dad had just had his dinner (left over spaghetti with the sauce my Grandpa use to make).  That smell got to me too.  But finally I just asked them to change the channel.  They had not thought about what they were watching, so felt bad, but I know I'm going to just have to get use to it.

I guess one "good" thing is that my kids will only eat a handful of things (they both have autism and sensory issues), and most of those I don't care for, so no feeling left out there.  Then my husband has been doing his own version of a diet and I don't like anything he eats, so that will be easy.  Just going out to Costco and getting the kids pizza and then sitting there unable to have anything has been hard and I'm sure will continue to be hard.

Part of me keeps thinking I will die during surgery due to some medical mistake.  The thought of leaving my kids really scares me.  Also not having control over it all scares me....

But.....here we go!

Shelly

 I, too, have a history of anxiety and the night before got real scary especially after I went outside and by chance witnessed something serious and had to call the police/medics. It was so scary that I was shaking head to toe while calling 911. I didn't know if I could even speak I was so scared. After they came and took care of the person having issues (suicide was being attempted), I went inside to sleep but was only able to sleep about 2 hours as by that time I was as anxious as one could be (some fleeting panic attacks occuring also). So I just kept busy and when I arrived at the hospital I told them I had a horrible night and I insisted on letting the anesthia doctor know so he arrived and helped me with some relaxing drugs. I woke up and was fine (pain for only one hour and not that bad) and went home in 2 days and have had zero complications other than some occasional constipation. Find a "power" thought and see if you can repeat it when needed. I think in your case you can find a thought like, "I need to be healthy and here a long time for my son and family." And, "My therapist will be there for me later. I'll write down my fears for now and give it to them later."

I hope this helps and my prayers are with you. My ONLY regret about this surgery is that I didn't do it earlier!!

I am usually the calmest person around, and it surprised me how nervous I was about this surgery.  Way more than I was for my hysterectomy.  I think it's the whole life-change on top of major surgery is what makes it so scary.  Not that ending the non-stop menstruation wasn't life changing, let me tell ya!  But that is another story.  For my RNY, I was *this close* to calling it off before they wheeled me into the operating room and that is SO unlike me. 

So, my friend, I think all of us experience the fear before surgery.  If you are a praying person, I recommend that.  Otherwise, talking to friends like another poster mentioned sounds like a great idea.  Surround yourself with some positive, supportive people, and stay busy.  Oh, and stay in touch with us!  We love to talk about RNY, among other things.  Like gas and poop and stuff. 

Hang in there, and pretty soon you will be joining us on the loser's bench! 

I'm three months out till my surgery date and I still am paniced.  If thing get too rought for you to handle PLEASE call your therapist.  Thats what they are there for.   Try deep breathing exercises.
And most of all I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world.

Just understand that the first month will be very difficult, physically and emotionally.  Once your body starts to heal and weight starts really coming off, any buyers remorse will disappear and you will feel fabulous!

I am having my surgery also Mon, 11 am, The things you are feeling, I am doing the same, although I had a good cry yesterday, . After my cry I felt a weight lifted and I am at peace with my surgery now! Yay. I have lots of people praying for me and I know now that I will make it through this and so will you. We can do this! Best of luck to you, and let us hear from you, I will do the same when I get home and post when I can. Sending good thoughts your way.

My surgery is on the 29th and I to am scared and nervous!!! My brother and sister have tryed to sway my decision, telling me "You still have time to back out" I have had 4 c-sections and a gall bladder removed and was not nearly as nervous as I am with this surgery.

My husband is a GREAT support system, although he is very concerened, he reminded me that living with this weight and possibly becoming heavier without the surgery is a risk in itself to my life. He is right and I have to put my fears to rest, do alot of praying, and trust my surgeon.

Try and relax, think positive! You will do great!!! I will be thinking of you and praying for your speedy recovery. When you are up to it please update us:)