Some people..

Thursday is my day! I will be having my RNY on that day and hopefully everything will turn out right.  I have been preparing myself for this and my husband supports me 100%.  I haven't told too many people except for my parents, my brother, and my best friend.  My best friend is almost six months pregnant and constantly talks about her weight and how she doesn't want to be fat.  Mind you she was tiny when she first got pregnant and has only gained ten pounds.  She keeps saying she's scared I'm going to "melt away".  Does she want me fat? Every time I talk about how much weight I've lost so far she makes the subject about her!

For the past couple of days I have been ignoring her phone calls or just cut her short because I feel like I don't need that attitude before my surgery.  My dad was also one that does not agree with what I am about to do, but he is still supporting me.  He thinks that I can do this on my own and only need to lose another 40 pounds...I'M 261 lbs!! Seriously...

Sorry this is long, I just want Thursday to get here so people can stop being negative about it.  On another note, I have dropped a nice amount of weight these past six months! My husband is very excited and I keep making fun of us telling him he is sleeping with a different woman! lol 

Your friend seems like she has some insecurities, they're her insecurities don't let her put them on you.
I had a friend that I'd classed as one of my closest for 15yrs, I moved away got the band dropped a heap of weight and met up with her and some other friends when I was back in town, she walked right past me having not recognised me, we had a lovely lunch and as she was leaving she made some comment about my weight loss, I thought nothing of it at the time, she didn't speak to me again until she saw a photo of me on Facebook 2.5 years later having gained back most of my weight!
Suffice to say I don't class her as one of my closest friends anymore, more like a chick I went to school with, unfortunately not everyone is happy for you when you get healthier/ thinner- it can be a learning curve, hopefully with your friend it's a hormonal thing and she gets over it and becomes supportive

Good luck on Thursday

It does sound as if your friend has something going on.  Perhaps she  is insecure about her own appearance and is comfortable being the skinny one.  Perhaps she fear if you lose a great deal of weight , you'll be so popular you won't have time for her. Or perhaps....anyone of a million other things is going through her head.  She may not be able to get over that and you may end up no longer being friends.  But give her a chance.

The fact that she can admit she's afraid you will "melt away" indicates some amount of self-awareness.   my suggestion:  At a neutral moment (one when she's not feeling needy herself, tell her nicely...starting with admitting your own fears and insecurities about your weight, the WLS, etc...that you really need her to be supportive of this effort and that you are hurt and confused by some things she says.  Ask her how she feels about it, and if she admits to being envious, insecure or anything else, reassure her that your friendship won't change if you lose weight.  Keep in mind that everyone in the world (well maybe not the Dalai Lama) struggles with negative emotions..rivalry, envy, fear, etc.  It's human and there's nothing wrong with it.  It's when we don't admit it to ourselves or others and end up acting on those feelings in a hurtful way that gets us in trouble.

 

 

I was the fat friend everyone could lean on, and now that I've had surgery, I've noticed a change in how people treat me. Maybe your friend is overwhelmed between your surgery and being pregnant that she is throwing out those comments? 

Good luck on Thursday! 

Not to hijack this thread but could you/would you mind to elaborate on how people are treating you differently?

I've noticed people being nicer to me, and actually noticing my existence. For instance, I've had more people hold the door for me or throw out a friendly smile in the past month than probably the last 5 years. I know there is a stigma over being morbidly obese, so I'm sure that plays into disappearing into the background. I feel a little uncomfortable with this new attention, though. I'm not used to being front and center, so I'm working on being more aware of it. 

As for family and friends, it's mostly positive. There are a few people who have withdrawn from hanging out with me, but I'm OK with it. The surgery has changed me, in that now I'm putting myself first (within reason--I have a toddler), and worrying about what I need to do instead of worrying about everyone else's crap. I noticed that some people are scared to eat around me, like I'm going to maul them for their ice cream cone. LOL It's a good teachable moment, though. 

Thanks for the laugh on the ice cream cone!  I'm sure I'll think of this the next time I'm having dinner with someone! I live alone and my group eating experiences have been pretty limited so far in my first five weeks.  lol :)