Body Image (I never knew I looked like this!) New photos

I wanted to share my new photos that we took last night.  Here's a cute dress I tried on last night:

 

As I post these, I am overcome with emotion and the tears started coming.  I still, at nearly 3 years post-op, do not see this image when I look into the mirror.  I see the numbers, fold my jeans (that I still can't believe are mine) and understand that I am healthy, but never in a million years, did I EVER think that this would be how I'd end up.  I can't believe it and am thankful every single day that I wake up and get to live another wonderful day in my new body.  To give you an idea of where I came from, here is my befores:

This was the morning of my RNY surgery on April 21, 2010.  I weighed 320 lbs.  A lot of people told me "You didn't look THAT big" but in fact, I was.  I am 6' tall so I 'carried' my weight all over so its a little bit deceiving, but let me tell you, my health, prescriptions and the screaming pain I felt every step I took in all of my joints for so many years has taken its toll. 

When I made the decision to take back my own life and looked into RNY, I had many people close to me who didn't want me to have surgery.  They were all adamantly against it, because I yo-yo dieted for my whole life.  I could LOSE weight, sure, but as soon as the 'diet' or 'program' stopped, the weight always came back, usually accompanied by 20 more lbs, more health problems as time went on and a deteriorating quality of life.  I felt like a 90 year old woman every time I got out of bed in the morning, I HURT!  I had NO energy, and drank so much caffeine just to function every day.  I would take care of everyone else's needs except my own--and my health paid the price!  I had to open up 10 different prescription bottles every morning to take the variety of medications to keep me alive.  I had to test my blood sugar 4x a day and inject myself with needles (insulin) to survive.  Not anymore!  At 6 months post-op, I had lost 100 lbs, and gotten off all of my medications.  I had energy for the first time in my life and I enjoyed getting up out of bed.  The pain started to go away and my energy increased the more weight I lost.  Slowly, I built myself up from walking for 5 minutes on the treadmill (thinking I was gonna DIE I was so out of breath!) to walking for over an hour and a half--3 miles a day outdoors. 

I want everyone to understand that this choice was not an easy one for me.  I lacked any form of self-confidence and self-esteem and never really cared much about myself.  I know am repairing (and finally letting go) of years of abuse by many, many people who were close to me.  I went from a troubled household growing up, to a similar marriage at a very young age.  I had children with my ex-husband who I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with.  I was a single mom of 5 very young children (twins and triplets, they were 4 and 1 1/2 when I kicked my ex-husband out) and did all of their care with little to no help from their father and his new wife.  I have overcome many obstacles in my life, RNY being just one of them.  Now, as I repair my past issues (with the help of a new therapist soon!) and discover who I really am, I realize now that it is just part of the amazing journey I decided to take and the first step of that was my decision to get RNY and get my health back!!!

Understanding that the tool of surgery is just the first step in this process is very important.  The best advice I can give to anyone who is getting any kind of wls is to get into counseling before you get surgery to help with these 'head' issues that are sure to surface. 

Thanks for letting me share!

M'Lane

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are just too damn cute!  You are an inspiration for us just starting out!  

Good for you!! You look 20 years younger!!

All I can say is WOW!!!

Amazing, just amazing! You look waif-like in that dress. Albeit a tall waif, but a waif nonetheless, lol!

I want your open kitchen shelving, too, btw. Love that look!

You should  be so proud of all you've accomplished. You had to overcome weight loss from obesity and two multiples pregnancies. That's some hard work there! Good for you!!

 

You're an inspiration to us newbies!!!  Thanks for sharing :)

You look amazing!!

You look amazing... Congrats and your story brings a tears to my eyes... As a "Fatman" This site has been a wonderful stumble upon in looking for motivation... I am in the program with a possible surgery on Feb 11th... Long story but this is yours.. Way to fight kick and scratch and also recognize this is a tool....

So beautiful! Your back looks amazing! Of course your front does too! But I love your shoulder blades!

Wow! You look absolutely amazing! And from the sound if it, you feel great too, which to me is so important! You've done an incredible job. Reading stories like this gives me hope that I can do this too. You're wonderful!