Who are you now that you have lost weight?

Hello to all,

I have really been thinking about this subject, and it factors greatly into my life currently. The subject is about who you are now, since you have had weight loss surgery.

I have created a video to share my thoughts about this here.

I am coming to realize that I very much had my identity wrapped up in my size. Of course, this was not done on purpose, it's something that just happens over time I suppose. I was a "Big Girl" I was a "BBW", I was going to be the best big girl I could be!

I wore flashy clothes and was very animated. Because I did You Tube videos all the way through my weight loss, I have the ability to go back and actually SEE how I was projecting myself.

**For those interested, my original channel was Lacyanna, but I have moved to "LacyannaLivingNow". So-if you leave comments on the old channel. I won't be able to respond. Please feel free to link the original video and come to my new page to discuss if you happen to want to talk about an older video**

To be honest. I have not had the heart-until this past weekend to go back and star****ching some of them. But when I did, I was not as bothered as I thought I would be. More, I was intrigued at the way I looked and spoke and the confidence which came across in some ways, and the insecurities in other ways.

Since I lost the weight, as I say in my video-I turned slightly "beige" in my style. I've sort of become lost on what I look like and how I fit in. This weekend was one of the first times I started to feel a bit...for lack of better words "sassy" again. (Are you laughing at my word? LOL!).

Did you go crazy after you lost the weight? Did you start chasing boys/girls? Did you go underground? (I did!). In what ways are you now different, but you never expected?

Feel free to watch the video, as I go more in depth about my own experience. I also ask others to please jump in with their own experiences, as I think it would be a massive help to me and others too!!

Many thanks and have a lovely rest of the day!

Peace,

T

I am still me. I haven't changed. My body had, but the way I behave is still the same and the way I dress is still the same ( my husband pointed that out the other day when he said, "hey, didnt you have an outfit just like that before, just bigger?"). I was crazy before and I'm still crazy now!

Hi Dee,

I love that! That thinking is, of course-my ultimate healthy thinking brain!! I hope to get there and see where I find myself. As always-this is for sure- A Real TRIP! LOL

 

Thanks for your post!

Peace,

T

Great post and video.   I am just about half way through my weight loss journey - and i find that although i have more confidence, i also tend to be a little more "beige" - in not wanting to stand out, just wanting to be normal.   Perhaps in time this will change.  

Hi!

 

Thanks for your post! What you are saying about not wanting to stand out-yes I do think that's part of it. And at the same time I got so used to standing out-it's a bit weird now to blend!

It's funny, because my favorite place used to be when I was driving. When I was in my car and on the freeway-I was just like everyone else. It was one of the very few times I felt I was just part of the bigger "us" if you know what I mean. I used to really look around and feel so comforted, until I had to get back out of the car. Ack!

Thanks again and take care!

Peace,

T

I am still pretty much who I always was... the only difference is that now I don't feel permanently trapped inside a very limiting and unhappy 200-excess-pound fat suit.  (The depression that I had that was related to my weight is gone, but I still suffer from trauma-related PTSD and depression.)  My clothing/personal style has always been pretty classic/conservative and still is.  I don't think -- and have not had anyone comment -- that I have changed my personality much... but I was raised by a Marine and always had a pretty strong, independent personality.  I was also 45 years old when I had surgery, though, so my personal identity was likely more solid and ingrained than for someone much younger.

Lora

Hi Lora,

Thanks for your post! I also suspect I may have some PTSD. Did I read a post of your's somewhere that said you were studying psychology, or that you have a degree in the works?

Thanks for your insights!

Peace,

T

Yes, I received a Master's degree in Counseling 7 years ago and am finishing a Psychology PhD.

Lora

Ah! Yes, OK-it stuck in my mind, because I thought what a fantastic opportunity to see things from a specific perspective such as your own! Congrats on your endeavor! Can I ask if you have done any papers or research on issues directly related to obesity and PTSD, abuse, etc?

Many thanks and peace,

T

I have done quite a bit of additional research on PTSD (am also fully trained in EMDR), and have given two presentations at our state's annual counseling conference.  I have not done any specific research into obesity per se (beyond the tremendously high correlation between obesity and abuse/assault in women and how those issues can re-emerge during weight loss (with or without surgery)), but I have done a lot of research into, and given a presentations on, the psychological aspects of WLS and working with WLS clients. 

My Master's thesis was an evaluation of various existing trauma therapies and on forming my own cohesive, yet eclectic approach to trauma therapy (focusing on sexual trauma).  My dissertation subject is kind of an offshoot of part of that... the use of various kinds of writing (including things like word collages) in the treatment of  PTSD (not limited to sexual trauma, but excluding war, terrorism, etc. types of trauma), including research into how the verbal aspects can help aid the psychological processing of the trauma and the physiological re-processing of the trauma.

Lora