Rant alert. Just need to get this off my chest

I went to dinner last night with friends that we have not seen in a year.  I should say that I did not share that I was having WLS with anyone except close friends and family.  I am friends with this couple but I would not consider us close.  (hence it has been a year since I have seen then).  

We met at a local resteraunt.They immediately noticed the weight loss and the questions started.  Since they asked me directly I answered them directly.  The first was response from the woman friend was " WOW  now you are smaller than me, Weren't you scared of all of the deaths caused by that surgery?"   I explained that I did extensive research before choosing a surgeon and I was willing to do it based on my health, not based on what size I could fit in, although that was a benefit.

The remainder of the evening the entire conversation was about nutrition. What was good for you and what wasn't.  I did not order an appeitzer and was told that it was better for me to "fill up" on a "healthy" appetizer than eat my entire meal. I tried to explain the program but it fill on deaf ears.   When I asked to have my salad boxed (it came with the meal and also came with sauteed spinach).  I was told that I should "fill up" on the salad. I again tried to explain...waste of my breath.  Dinner came and it was discussed that my meal came with a really fattening sauce. (lemon-white wine) and maybe I should have ordered something without a sauce and why was I not eating the rice that came with the meal?.  During the meal it was mention MANY times that 50% WLS people gain back the weight lost so I really should be more careful of what I was eating. It was also noted that I only ate protein and that was not healthy,  I should incorporate more carbs into my food.

I declined the after dinner drink and that was questioned as well.  I again tried to explain that I was not supposed to drink anything for at least 30 mins after eating.  Again it was like I was talking to myself.

I have not patience for ignorant people.

 Enough of this rant  Thank you all for listening This  experience reminded me of why I decided to keep the surgery to only close friends and family and also why it had been a year since I had spent any time with this couple. 

 

She started by saying now you are smaller than her.  If it did not bother her, it would not have been mentioned.  From then on,  she was trying to get you to fail.  You are not close.   Cross her off your list!

 

It is frustrating to have people who think they know how you "should" eat.  I find it interesting that they wanted you to fill up on salad and rice, though, that have next to no nutritional value (and I have yet to find a truly "healthy" appetizer, but i confess that i have not looked in the last couple of years).

It sounds like it is a good thing that you don't see these people very often!

Lora

I agree good thing they are not a part of your daily life.

Stories like this are why I am choosing not to share with anyone but very close friends. For everyone else, the answer will be eating healthy and exercising, which is not a lie but enough info to share.

I would definitely not be meeting these 2 for dinner again.  Sorry you had to deal with that.....I very recently went through somethign similar @ Christmas @ a ffreinds house,  a very large lady lit into me once she found out i had had surgery, her daughter was there, with a myriad of health problems and close to 350lbs,  She had been researching the surgery and had questions,  about time we started to talk, Mother Sunshine as we will call her came and sat down. 

Her first question was, Yes, you look great but you couldnt possible feel healthy?  Dont you think you could have acheived teh same results with self restraint and will power????

Thankfully for once in my life the first thing that went through my mind didnt come out of my mouth...........instead of saying something cruel like, "oh wow i can see how thats worked for you over the years"  i replied.  Actually no,  my body is realy efficient and engineered chemically to produce and store fat, with out this surgery i would probably be dead by 55.  I have gotten rid of my diabetes and high blood pressure, my hormone levels are also coming back into line, my joints no longer hurt and i feel better than i have in years.  Then she came out with, "Well, arent you afraid you are gonna die?"  I said, there are risks to this surgery, However, if you follow what you are supposed to do, and research and get with a good surgeon and group, the chances of complications are greatly reduced.  Besides the chance of me dying from the surgery were FAR less than the odds of me dying from the uncontrolled diabetes and blood pressure." 

She shot me a look and went to another room, after which her daughter (30+ years old) got my number to continue the conversation after her mother went home.  She called me and we talked for i know 2 hours,  she was awaiting he rinsurance approval last i heard from her.

Thanks for sharing and it goes to show how when people are jealous or threatened they try to sabotage others.  That is really sad.

 

I hear yah with some people. That's why I chose not to tell anyone. My close friends don't even know because they bad mouth ppl who have had wls. I don't want to hear it.  You'd think ppl would be happy for you but not in this world. Congrats on your weight loss you have lost alot!! Good for you! 

It sounds like you handled it perfectly. You can't fix stupid. Just keep their comments in mind should you ever get off track. you definitely do not want to prove them right!!

One of my pet peeves is people who think they know more about this than someone who is DOING it.  I deal with it everyday with close coworkers.  I'd definitely just avoid seeing these people anymore than I have to if I were you.