10 Days of Clarity

 

Ten?

Ten days until I undergo one of the most drastic changes in my life.

Am I ready for this?

Ten more days.

 

Nine?

Nine days. It seems like just yesterday it was ten days.

It's going by so fast, but in slow motion so I can absorb all of the emotions involved.

Does that make sense?

 

Eight?

Eight days of hell left. Hell you say? Yes, it's hell knowing that I have made this decision and there's a small chance it's the worst mistake of my life.

Eight more days.

 

Seven?

Lucky number 7! Luck has nothing to do with this.

It's not getting better. It's building and building and building!!

Am I REALLY going to do this? Seriously? Why couldn't I do it by myself?

Six and a wake-up, that's pretty damn close.

 

Six?

Six, really, six?

I've got to keep it together folks!

I keep reading about the out-years of RNY vs. VSG vs. DS. Who's right?

You read about success with all of them. 

Each person thinks their own surgery is the best.

Each person thinks their own surgeon is the best.

Each person is a salesman trying to tear you down until you give in to their surgery and surgeon.

Sometimes I hate this site (OH) for that. Can a moderator warn you not to sell vitamins but not warn you when you try to sell your surgery or surgeon? Pushy people!!

 

Five?

Five days and last chance opt-out at the surgeon's office.

Any last questions?

We have everything we need: 

blood work, check

pulmonary clearance, check

EKG, check

upper endoscopy, check

medical clearance, check

abdominal u/s, check

psych evaluation, check

NUT visits, check

Looks good Mr. Hood, see you on Tuesday

 

Four?

Four more days of waiting…waiting…tapping my feet…waiting!!

Last Goodbyes At Work!

This will mark the very first time that I will look forward to being able to go back to work.

Why?

What are the alternatives to not going back to work after surgery? DUH!

Yes I think about that stuff, don't you?

There's a bazillion things that could go wrong.

My stomach is in knots with everything I eat.

I thought not having to do a two-week liquid diet was cool, but trying to hold down food in the face of this surgery is getting tough.

Seriously, I have 4 (four, for, fore) more days left!!!!????

 

Three?

Oh man, did you just say three?

Knots continue in the stomach,

I'm up at 4am,

My body is like that Alanis Morrissette Song "Hand in My Pocket", I'm hungry but I can't eat

Ready to throw up at any instant!

I wish I had a time travel machine. 

I would do my time in the surgery but i just want to speed it up hot the point where they put me under.

Three days…..

 

Two?

I cannot believe two more days left. Where did it go?

Not really hungry

Not in the mood for food funerals or last suppers

My pastor and his wife are praying for me and supportive

That means a lot

Almost there

 

One?

Okay, less than one really!!!!

The hours go by now like days

The fear and anxiety is building even more

The excitement is building too, by the way

I'm ready, but I'm not (Again with the Alanis Morrissette type reference!)

I'm packing my bag with essentially nothing

What could I need really?

I do have a list, but it got chopped up by you guys thankfully

In less than 24 hours I will be off to the hospital

Tetelestai

 

The emotions are crazy aren't they? All over the place! Thanks for your honesty in sharing this. With your positive attitude you will do great.

Excited for you...

What I went through in my mind the week before.  I had to have some surgery as I had to have a band removed, so It was should I just try it again myself or should I have the Rny and back and forth, right till the end.  I did have the RnY and am happy,  I will be 2 weeks out Wednesday and have lost 16 pounds from when I walked into the hospital (and this does not include the 15 pounds of fluid I gained or I could consider it 31#!)

You will do fine.  Attitude is important!

Thank you so much for posting this. I don't have my surgery date yet but nearing that point and there are so many emotions constantly running through my head. Good to know I'm not alone. Best wishes to you and look forward to seeing you post when you're out, and following your journey in the future.

Absolutely great post!  You captured it perfectly.  

Keep us posted.  I am praying for you and wishing you well.  

I was blessed because I woke up and  started walking about 3-4 hours after surgery.  I asked for and received anti-nausea medication and pain medication!  They were prescribed for me so I used them to help me get up and get moving and to help me get fluids down.  

I will admit that the one thing that really surprised me was the strength of the emotions the first 4-8 weeks.  Part of it, a large part is that hormones are trapped in the fat and as the fat is released so are the hormones so one moment happy, then in the depths of despair.  My dietician told me this was very common.  It still happens but not with such frequency and now I know what it is so that helps.

Good luck, God bless and cannot wait to hear all about it!