NSV and encouraging rant to voice in head
To the voice inside my head:
You may stop ranting on in your panicked state. I hear the fear in your voice that there are many changes going on in our life right now. TRUST me when I say that I hear you don't like change. I know you want to be comforted. I know you want that bowl of mac and cheese you saw a co-worker eating yesterday. I know it would be all better for you if you could just have some chocolate or a big bowl of ice cream. I get that you are upset. I feel it too. And while I will help you through this, you need to know that I am in charge now and we don't eat our feelings away. So sit down, shut up and listen.
We can do hard things. Change is hard but it's also exciting. If you have extra energy and restlessness and you can't stand it anymore, we are not going to eat. We are going to walk. Or we can even get our bike out now! It's spring! YAY we made it. SHUT UP! I am not done. If walking doesn't shut you up, we are going to write for a while. You can shout as loud as you want to onto that paper and then I will burn it. ARE YOU LISTENING? IF that doesn't work, we have tons of motivational stuff you can read. I will read it to you. I will do whatever it takes to comfort and console you in a healthy and loving way. However, you do not run anything around here. You are no longer in charge. You will not be fed into submission. You will not be given into like a spoiled child. I am the driver around here. You will do what I say. While you are a part of me, you are not in control.
This may seem like a silly stupid note but haven't you ever felt like something inside was driving you to make bad choices in the same way you committed yourself to make the good choices? I may be crazy but I feel like this sometimes. It's just now I have more tools to deal with it. The more I make those difficult choices, the more empowered I feel about my life. Each time I drag my butt out of my warm bed and do my exercising in the morning, I feel like a champion. Like I am training for something big. lol. It has improved my outlook on my life, my production at work, at home. It has improved almost every aspect of my life! Every time I make the choice to eat healthy instead of indulge, I feel like I won big. I still mourn the moments when I could dive into dessert without heed. But less so. No one said this would be easy and it isn't all the time. But what I can tell you, is that I feel so powerful each time I exercise, say no when I mean no, say yes when I mean yes, and make healthy choices. It carries over into so many areas. I am grateful every day I did this.
I am proud to announce that I am going to start my own business. This has been a dream for so long. And it has been so out of reach for me at 450 pounds. I was just not motivated enough to do the work. And physically, I could not. Now, with my new sense of empowerment, my new attitude about who i am and my life, I am going after my dream. And win or lose, I will NEVER have to look back and say, i wish i would have tried that. I forget how powerful this surgery was in my life. Not just in my health but in how I view the world and myself in it. I once felt like a victim. I now feel empowered and refreshed. I dont think that comes from how I look but rather, how I feel. It is still a struggle in my head. Maybe it always will be. All I know is that today, I just won the marathon!
Very encouraging post! I think I am fortunate that with having a medical issue as the start of my weight gain, I am not a food addict and just really needed a head start. I know I have just begun but have been with people who were eating foods I really like and will never have again and it did not bother me as I know that I can substitute what is good and healthy and be perfectly happy with it.
Good for you in telling your head what it needed to know! 
Blessings, Lynn 
Band to RnY - 3/13/13
