The Voices in my Head

I am still a premi-when it comes to weight loss surgery land, and I am really trying to prepare myself for the lifestyle afterward....

But these voices...they's just so persistent.

 

1. "How is it that you will magically be able to follow this new eating style if you can't even keep it together now? Don't tell me you are going to rely on 'oh ow, that hurts' or 'but it was a huge investment'. Please we have definitely spent money before...so how is this going to help you?"

2. "You really need to rearrange/slice out some of an internal organ because you can't control what you put in your mouth? A perfectly good organ?"

3. "You realize this is like a permanent thing right? It's not just another diet-of-the-month. How are you going to keep that type of eating up?"

4. "What if I go through all this...and STILL fail? There are no guarantees."

 

In short, I realize that this is more a mind game to be fought and a lifestyle to embrace. But I've been ME for SO LONG! lol And I KNOW I have never succeeded before. So what makes me think this time will work?

 

QUESTION:

How did YOU deal with the mental adjustment it takes to be successful in this choice?

How are YOU silencing the voices in your head?

 

I didn't really have those thoughts, (except for maybe #4) so I may not be the best person to respond but it sounds as though you may need to seek some help from a therapist to help you work out some of these issues. It is a life change and it may help to have some support now, before you actually have the surgery.

How did I deal? the same way I'm still dealing at over 18 mo out. Therapy.

1. Now mind you I was gung ho going in and didn't want to deviate from my plan by an inch... that initial determination got me the bulk of the way. Then seeing the success pushed me further. Now looking at a size 0 when I read the tag on my jeans reminds me how far I've come and how I never want to go back.

2. Yes I did need that rearranged and once my doctor explained that only 5% of people who lose weight without surgery keep it off long term I realized I wasn't the minority so yes, the surgery was necessary.

3. I realized it was real I thought. But when I grab something that makes me sick I sometimes wi**** wasn't permanent but then like my answer to 1 I see what I look like and see the size and change my mind and am glad it is permanent.

4. The only guarantee I have is that I have control, and a fabulous tool that will aid my control.

 

Oh boy - if you go back read my other threads you will see I posted the SAME things about six/seven weeks ago - repeatedly... especially, what if I fail AGAIN? I asked that a thousand times - that and, OMG, it's PERMANENT! (But some one DID wisely say, but don't you want the weight loss to be permanent?)
So, on to those voices. Yes, they're there - I hear them (I'm three weeks post revision surgery tomorrow - so see I've already had one WLS failure)... but I ignore them. I tell them to go away as they are trying to sabotage my chance. What if someone you knew actually told you to your face the things you tell yourself? Would you stay friends with them? I certainly wouldn't! Is this a HUGE lifestyle change - FOREVER? Yes it is. But you have a choice - you don't have to do it. But how's your health? I chose to have surgery for many reasons; high blood pressure, high cholesterol, rising blood sugars, bad knees and dammit, not wearing cute clothes! What are YOUR reasons? Do you want to live longer and healthier - yes or no? If you do, then you have to change - and this tool - literally, a tool - will help you build a new better body and improve your health.
THAT'S why this time is different.
I'm a Star Wars geek and quote it all the time - so here's one of faves and relevant to this convo: Luke is on the swamp planet with Yoda, and Yoda has been trying to get him to believe in the Force, and to embrace his own power and strength. Luke gives up... then Yoda does something amazing and Luke says, "I don't believe it!", and Yoda says, "That... is why you fail". I remember that all the time. If I DON'T believe in this chance, then I WILL fail. And frankly, with my current state of health, failure is just no longer an option.
About a week before surgery I decided to commit something to my body as a reminder of my commitment to this surgery; I tattooed my inner wrist with the words, "I Can"... and it's in Arabic so only I know what it means - but when I start doubting myself I just touch my wrist and mentally hold tight to those words. And the moment passes, and I'm better. Don't look at the whole journey - it's too big. Break it down into a day at a time. You can do ANYTHING for a day, right?
Hang in there and BELIEVE.

I loved reading your reply..

Thank you.

This is the best reply I have seen!!!  Wonderful and Inspirational!!  Thank you!!

OMG, I am a week out from surgery and that is exactly what is running through my head!!!!!  I am so glad that these thoughts happen to other people too. 

 

1. "How is it that you will magically be able to follow this new eating style if you can't even keep it together now? Don't tell me you are going to rely on 'oh ow, that hurts' or 'but it was a huge investment'. Please we have definitely spent money before...so how is this going to help you?"

I can tell you that the reason I have been able to follow this new eating style has nothing to do with magic.  My stomach is now the size of an egg.  It used to be the size of a football.  Now that it's the size of an egg, I feel full after eating a small portion.  When it was the size of a football, I did not feel full after eating a small portion.  Because I did not feel full, I ate more.  But now that I feel full, I don't eat more.  Nothing magical about it.

2. "You really need to rearrange/slice out some of an internal organ because you can't control what you put in your mouth? A perfectly good organ?"

Yes, I really did need to rearrange an organ.  But it wasn't just because I couldn't control what I put in my mouth.  It was because dieting almost never works for people that are morbidly obese.  Only about 5% of people are able to lose weight and keep it off that way.  I needed a more effective treatment for the illness of morbid obesity.

3. "You realize this is like a permanent thing right? It's not just another diet-of-the-month. How are you going to keep that type of eating up?"

Of course.  I wanted to lose weight permanently.  If I just wanted a temporary fix, I would have done yet another diet.

4. "What if I go through all this...and STILL fail? There are no guarantees."

There are no guarantees... but the odds are RNY will work.  It has a good success rate.

I've read the responses and you've been given spot-on answers.  But I do have something to add...you are obviously taking WLS seriously or else you wouldn't have these thought-provoking questions--a good sign you'll take this commitment even more serious.