Negative reactions when people find out

Hello!

I'm in month 1 of my six month supervised diet (required by my insurance) so I'm still new to EVERYTHING. What do you say to people that find out you are going to have/have had weight loss surgery and have a negative reaction. I'm super excited about it and want to share my excitement with my friends/family but I'm getting a lot of "that seems very drastic" and "have you TRIED diet and exercise?!?!" and "you lost 100lbs before, can't you just do it again?" and "I don't understand why you don't just lose weight the natural way" etc.  And it is SO frustrating. OBVIOUSLY I've tried diet and exercise. OBVIOUSLY I wouldn't go to surgery as a first option. I'm making a decision to make a positive change in my life and it is going to be hard. Why can't people just be happy for me and supportive?

So what do you say when people have negative comments about wls?

I was worried about people reacting negatively to me having surgery, so I started out only telling my closest confidants. My husband (obviously), my Mom, and my best friend. They were all extremely supportive. Over the last month, I've told my close family, and a few other friends, and to my surprise, every single person has been nothing but supportive. They've seen me struggle with my weight since I was 10 years old, and ultimately they just want what's best for me...which is to be healthy. 

Unfortunately, not everyone will understand exactly WHY you've chosen to have surgery. Those that are closest to you may just need to know more information about the surgery. There's a lot of stigma still (I believe) in having WLS, and I think that is due to lack of education/understanding on their part. TALK ABOUT IT! Tell them what it'll entail, and how you'll be able to reclaim your life, post-op...and that it's still a lifelong journey, and their support is so important.

I hope that you are able to get the support you need. 

I was afraid to tell people at first, but I have had nothing but supportive feedback.  There have been a few people say "that's drastic" or something similar, but I don't find them to be judging, just making a statement. If you're going to tell people the truth, expect some negative feedback, it's people's lack of understanding about the surgery and the struggles.

Good luck!

Looking back, forming a pat answer would have saved me a lot of grief.  What I now say when people ask, I say, "a lot of hard decision-making."  Some will push for more but I have become firm with that answer due to negative reactions like you are experiencing.  There's one comment that plays over and over in my head lately...a normal-sized gal looked at my new appearance (I was wearing nor doing anything outlandish) and said, "well look at you, thinking you're all that"...jealousy is too kind..."cruel" is a better word that comes to mind.

I have had both positive and negative feedback from people that I have told.  I am almost one year out (on Friday) and the one thing that I have learned, is that I didn't do this for anyone's approval but mine.  I really don't care what other people think about WLS, or any method in which I have taken my weight off.  Bottom line is that I did this for ME and no one else!

Honestly, many people only know the very basics of WLS and have only heard the horror stories.  Yes, yes... we have all heard of the "friend of a friend" that had complications or died or whatever.  The fact is- WLS is a very personal decision and you have to make the right choice for you.  I am a sarcastic ass so whenever anyone said "have you TRIED diet and exercise?" or any other dumbass remark I would just say "No.  THAT never occured to me.." and move on. 

You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself.  I am over 7 years post-op and nobody even remembers that I had surgery and nobody cares anymore.  Most people hardly remember "fat Sue" and I am grateful I made the decisions I made.  You will be too!!

I only told my closest family members prior.  No one really said much negative, my dad did say it seemed drastic but would support me (he and others have seen me struggle over the years).  And I told my boss at work.  No one else at work.

Since surgery, if someone that has known me and notices the WL and asks, I tell them the truth, that I had WLS.  So far no one has been negative.

Though I also ride a motorcycle, so people are always telling me about someone they have heard of that wrecked and lost their life/limb/vision/etc.

If someone says "why did you take the easy way?" ask them if they walk or drive to work.  When they say drive, ask them why did they take the easy way?"

Honestly, how many times in life do people truly choose the hard road?  

I have only told four people that I had RNY surgery and two of them are my husband and daughter who live with me. I don't think it is anyone else's business. If you are worried about negative comments, just tell people that you made a major life change( isn't that the truth!) and have lost weight. I mean I am sure that you would not tell people all of your other health problems or surgeries so why tell them that you had weight loss surgery. Just accept the compliments . Works for me !

First of all, congratulations!

It is entirely up to you whether or not you choose to reveal your WLS.

I was so happy about my DS, I told any and every one who would listen.  Their judgement or non-judgement of me mattered not one whit!

For the negtivity simply say " I made the best decision for me, to become a healthier person".

End of story.

You know what is funny, I have been overweight my whole life, minus like 3 years of my adulthood and I didn't think for a second that people would think negatively of me finally taking steps to overcome my weight battle. But there are.  I am preop and as i have told friends and family about my decision there are people with the negative thoughts and comments and you know what, I don't care.  I know there is stuff that could happen that I have never even heard of, and it all comes down to this, I need something to help me to keep me accountable and this is the procedure doctors have come up with to help people in my situation, Why wouldn't I utilize it? 

Honestly, I can't believe everyone with weight issues isn't doing this!  God help me it takes everything I have not to walk up to a person of my size and be like, hey You should go see my doctor...he'll help!  That would probably be frowned upon , but no matter what people say, take it with a grain of salt because no one walks in your shoes and you have to do what is best for you.  

Ok I got a little preachy there.. but pay no mind to the negative comments, I am sure they think they are helping.  Hopefully you will find that one person that will get excited for you, and if you don't .. message me I am excited for you!