Do I tell my new significant other???

angel91e
on 4/5/15 11:56 am
RNY on 01/15/14

I had my RNY 15 months ago and have dropped almost a hundred pounds counting my pre-op diet. I went from a size 20-22 women's to a juniors size 3. 

I have been with an incrediblely wonderful man now for the last four months. Everything is great between us and this has been so far the most healthy relationship I have ever been in. So the question becomes do I share with him about my weight loss journey? He is incredibly fit and believes very strongly in a healthy lifestyle. (He worked as a personal trainer to put himself through college) I really care about him and want to be open and share with about all aspects of my life but I'm worried that he wouldn't understand. 

So I thought I would ask and see what other women did and that said and how they handled it.

He obviously knows that I don't eat a whole lot but I have simply left it at that I stick to a set strict dietary guidelines without explaining why or how I got there.

so I would really love feedback on your own experiences and most on the question 

Should I  tell him?

 

Angel

HW/217 1st apt/202 SW/191 CW/115

1st goal:140 @9months

2nd goal:130 @11months

3rd goal:115 @16months  

    

NYMom222
on 4/5/15 12:32 pm
RNY on 07/23/14

I can't say I've had this experience... but eventually I would think you would have to tell him. If you think this has the potential for being a long term relationship do you think he would feel betrayed the longer you wait? It is a tough question.... good luck.

Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014

Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16

#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets

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White Dove
on 4/5/15 1:19 pm - Warren, OH

Time to bring it up.  Either he will accept it or not.  If he does not accept it, then you will know that he would not accept it further down the road.  If you don't tell him, there is always the chance that someone else will and that will make him feel you were not honest with him.  I would just tell him you had the surgery and your reasons for doing it. 

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

mornings
on 4/5/15 2:35 pm - Canada

I would say  tell him You been thru a very hard time of your life and took control of it ,  You should be proud of what all you had done for yourself Your a very strong  lady  and  im sure he would be very interested in sharing all aspects of your life especially if you take it to another level  its best to hear it from you then a stranger  I would think     best of luck either way  

Chilipepper
on 4/5/15 11:24 pm

Honesty is the best policy. Be proud of what you have done. Don't find shame in it.  If he has a problem with it then he isn't as great as you think.  

 

 

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker  

"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White

 

 

iloveravens
on 4/6/15 12:30 am
RNY on 08/13/14

Agreed!  

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

Needanewbeginning
on 4/5/15 11:43 pm - Barrie, Canada
RNY on 05/21/13

I don't tell many people about my wls, Sounds like you two are doing great together, I would tell him, absolutely.

Congrats, you have done fantastic!

Annette 👍

Starting weight: 334 lbs.Starting opti weight: 323 lbs, Surgery weight 303 lbs.Surgery-May 21st, 2013 with Dr Hagen at HRRH Goal weight 165 lbs reached at 13 months. Current weight 156 lbs

     

Triksy
on 4/6/15 12:18 am
RNY on 05/20/15

It sounds like you might be starting to get serious about him so I would suggest you tell him. If it works out in the long run (ie marriage) he's going to have to find out eventually. And when he does he will feel like this is something you have been keeping from him. 

I understand your worried about him reacting negatively but ultimately its a part of who you are and if he cant accept it then its better that you know now rather than down the line when you have even more of an emotional connection.

  

HW- 380     SW-350     CW-358

iloveravens
on 4/6/15 12:29 am
RNY on 08/13/14

It would be very difficult for me to hide it from a significant other.  My diet and needs are a top priority for me.  Maybe because I'm only 7 months post op, it still seems like it will always be important to make my nutritional needs known.  I would definitely tell him.  Good luck! xoxo

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

Maria27
on 4/6/15 12:59 am - Chicago, IL
RNY on 03/17/15

My husband has a BMI around 19 and has never been a pound overweight in his live. No, he really doesn't understand what it is like to be mo and what I have gone through to bring me to the point of having wls. But that hasn't stopped him from being supportive of me because he cares for me and wants me to be healthy. If this man really cares about you he will make an effort understand even if he doesn't at first. I can't imagine not being able to talk to my husband about my wls. He also helps keep me on track because he knows what I should and should not be eating. If you want the relationship to become serious, you will probably need to tell him eventually.

Height: 5'5" HW: 290 Consultation Weight: 276 SW: 257 CW: 132

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