Pictures and shame

Boxerlover3452
on 8/6/16 7:22 am
RNY on 06/06/16

Recently a few friends and myself went on a day trip and had a wonderful time.  My one friend posted pictures on FB of our excursion and I wanted to die.  I'm 8 weeks post op today and as of last Monday lost 38 lbs. but I still look horrible and I'm so ashamed for people to see these pictures.  I'm so embarrassed and humiliated.  I feel like crap today and am so depressed about it.  Thanks for letting me express my feelings.

(deactivated member)
on 8/6/16 7:35 am

 

This saying is so true. I am sorry you are feeling this way. I totally understand. It can be overwhelming. Laura told me a long time ago we need to love ourselves before and after WLS.

I am learning and it takes time. Just think before surgery you would have just stayed home and sat and watched tv. Look at what you have accomplished so far. 

Write a list of things you want to do now you have had the surgery. You had surgery to get healthier. You have done something about it and don't let pictures stop you from having fun. 

Be kind to yourself. 

 

 

 

Boxerlover3452
on 8/6/16 9:44 am
RNY on 06/06/16

Thank you so much.  You're so right.  I know tomorrow or maybe even this afternoon will be better.  

Gavs50
on 8/6/16 7:41 am

Sorry that your feeling down on yourself but need I remind you YOUR DOWN 38 lbs in 8 weeks. That's is a real reason to celebrate !  Be real and celebrate all the little wins along the way.  I proud of you accomplishments so far and so should you ! Keep up the awesome job !  

Boxerlover3452
on 8/6/16 9:45 am
RNY on 06/06/16

Thank you very much.  I really appreciate it.

mschwab
on 8/6/16 9:44 am, edited 8/6/16 2:45 am
RNY on 11/21/14

I am so sorry that the pictures are causing you such pain.  I know it is hard to have these things out there when you are working so hard to change you life.  Please remember, you are beautiful and important as you are today.  Losing weight will make you healthier, allow you to do more things and may make you happier with how you look.  But what it won't do is make you a better person.  You are already a good person.  The size of your body does not define you worth to the world.  The size of your heart does.  As you look at those pictures, say to yourself "I am not happy with my weight, but I am fixing that.  I am happy with the good person I am. I don't need to fix that. The world is better because I am in it." 

Come here often, and vent as much as you need. We understand what you are going through, and we've got your back.

 Height: 5'7".  HW: 299, Program starting weight: 290, SW: 238, CW 138 - 12 pounds under goal!  

     

Boxerlover3452
on 8/6/16 7:18 pm
RNY on 06/06/16

Thank you so very much.  Your post really made me feel good.

Laura in Texas
on 8/6/16 9:56 am

Here is a picture of me posted by a friend on fb in 2008, right before my RNY (around 315 pounds). Egads!! I felt the same way as you do when it was posted, but I have forgiven myself for becoming obese and moved on from there. My "before" pictures hold no negative power over me anymore. I know I am a wonderful person and my past helped me become everything I am now (my creepy teenager even told me I was a good person yesterday and was being sincere- awe).

We do have to love ourselves every step of the way!! 

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

peachpie
on 8/6/16 2:59 pm - Philadelphia, PA
RNY on 04/28/15

We've all been there with the pic that both mortifies and confuses us. I wish you still found something you loved about the pic- your smile, hair, the way you felt-- anything. I'm a believer that we need to love ourselves  (physical features) before the weight loss- is some small way. 

The one pic that I hated my sister snapped of me-- and while I hated the way I looked-- I hated how I felt on that day even more. 

Save that pic- don't erase your past, learn from it. 

5'6.5" High weight:337 Lowest weight:193/31 BMI: Goal: 195-205/31-32 BMI

sheriberi29
on 8/6/16 4:24 pm - Cleveland, TN

Ouch! I know your pain all to well. I'm sorry for how that made you feel. I do not have Facebook but I used to and had someone post a picture of me asleep with my mouth wide open ...we were camping on the July 4 so it was hot and I couldn't breathe , it was an awful picture and I was humiliated ... After that we ( my friends and I ) had a come to Jesus talk about checking to make sure the pic was Facebook approved ! 

 

Banded 6/9/09 HW 242 LW 142 Revision 198 m 1 loss 16 lbs 182. M 2 loss 4 lbs 178. M3 loss 6 lbs 174.m4 loss 4 lbs 168. M5 gain 2 lbs 170. M6 loss 7 lbs 163 M7 loss 5 lbs 159 M8 loss 1 lb 158 M9 loss 0 M10 155 loss 3 M11 154 loss 1 M12 loss 2 152 M13 loss 3 149 M16, 17 0 loss M 18 loss 4 lbs 145 (18 months 53 lbs)

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