What if this IS the normal? What if regain and bounceback are PART of our successful journey?

Hi all,

I've been spending lots of time reading various message boards regarding regain and weight loss surgery long-term. And of course-I have spent the last 6 years as a post op.

It's the very reason why I recently decided to come back to OH and also to open a new VLOG on You Tube. I have been studying and analyzing what many of us go through post op. So much emphasis is put on Pre Op. It's Pre-op nutrition and Pre-op therapist. Its all about what we NEED to do before. There is NO Mandatory counseling for post ops, and if it is-it is very, very short term.

There are some other points I have been pondering as well, like what happens to our minds, hearts and souls when we see regain. It's extremely traumatic and it's not something others who have not been down this road would understand. There seems to be a tendency to really get fatalistic about the changes, bounce backs-etc.  Let me rephrase that I FELT really fatalistic about regain.

So, I started to really look at what regain means. What does regain mean and what about bounce back? What about how large we were when we started out? What about our age? What about our health? And just what DOES the medical profession know about what it's like for us and what we CAN expect?

Yes, some folks do have complete and utter regain. But also, some folks have bounce back weight and they start to fight their bodies on desperately getting to the original "Goal weight". What do we know about how the body works regarding our "lowest weight" and the weight we end up at??

What is my healthy weight is 170? What if my healthy weight is 130? Or maybe it's 190?? Exactly who has the true answer? My surgeon said anything near 200 would be a miracle! But then there was this doctor I saw one other time that said I should lose like 40 more, because BMI and what not. And then there was that nurse who said if I lifted canned food or water bottles  could lose some of that "fat" on my upper arms. That was AFTER I told her I lost over 200 lbs from Gastric Bypass. See what I mean? Bit scary isn't it?

What if we allow ourselves to start taking a long hard look at what success is? Is our whole post op life supposed to be about "Look, I'm not eating. Now I'm eating. I'm eating x amount of calories. Oh I lost weight. Oh I gained weight. I'm a success! I'm a failure..because of the weight.."

I'm seeing a lot of self-loathing on the boards. That is where I think the danger is. The danger for me was the self hate and horror I felt when I saw the scale go up. At first I cried and freaked out. I so despaired about it. But then-I remembered once again that it was ME that lost the weight in the first place and it would be me to do it again-if that is what I wanted to do. And all of this due to 15 pounds!!!!??? That's when I had a little talk with myself and started to do the research.

My weight has stabilized and my heart and mind are still continuing to adjust to the massive change I went through! Part of me even wondered if I set myself up to focus on bounce back weight, so that I would not have to continue to focus on the discomfort I have felt in a new smaller body.

I have committed to myself to start talking and sharing again. I could NOT believe how many folks totally have "disappeared" from the boards, from You Tube and other places. And I have found that most of the time when people come back, they come back all apologetic. Like they need to be ashamed and have been "bad". What the hell is that all about???? Post op is POST OP and we are the Post Op reality. I understand folks who may be pre-op may be a bit frightened to think about what can and OFTEN does happen with weight fluctuation. I know I used to be super freaked out by it.

But really, if I am reading my research correctly-we are the NORM!! Haha-that's the funny part! SOME regain is NORMAL. And to lose regain IS possible too!! Some bodies are happy to stay on the larger side of their normal, whilst others will go super petite. OK then!

I would love to see some of these places that have to turned to post op ghost towns come alive again with people working it out together. I have uploaded a few videos, with the latest one being a review of why I had gastric bypass and what I am thinking these days. I want to invite anyone who wants to share to please come and do so. Either in writing or video.

We ARE a community-it's just that I suspect there are lots of folks in their closets so-to-speak. What if this turns out to simply be part two of our SUCCESSFUL journey?? Show me the PROOF that says MOST people stay at their lowest weight and never struggle. It's a lie. We may already be a winner!

Here is my latest video, I've stuck a few pictures in it as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXZSWPtwoNo

I plan to stick around.

Peace,

T

 

 

 

Great post Miss Redd.  I often wonder where so many that were on the boards before I came to OH are and those going through surgery and losing while I was.  There are many, many faces missing and I miss those people.  I'd love to personally be able to get in contact with a few.

My personal opinion is many become complacent and see a regain.  Some also have the 10-15% bounceback, not all though and I think this "may or may not be" preventable.  This is why I say that:  our bodies will reach it's lowest usually between years 1-2 at which point the majority of malabsorption is done and for RNY specifically we're dealing with a restriction only surgery.  Those first 2 years are super, duper important to lose the most and learn the most we can to remain successful.  Success isn't defined as our lowest weight always.....some lose more weight than needed and need to add a few back.  Others may never get to that desirable "goal weight".  Maybe that weight isn't reasonable, so many other factors play into an ideal weight (age and body structure are two factors to consider).

The post-op life is definitely not a priority within the medical community or most message boards for that matter.  Once the honeymoon and first couple of years are done.....we are either gone from the WLS community or elect to stay here to 1) offer our experiences to others and 2) remain successful as possible.  I truly believe the majority of us need to remain involved in a community of WLS people....I KNOW for me this is necessary and why I remain involved.

As for bounceback.......as I mentioned above after the malabsorption decreases significantly our eating has to compensate for more absorption.....that means better eating choices (more protein to keep us fuller longer and less calorie intake).  Remembering to move your body in some way (no couch potato lifestyle) and taking our supplements and following the general rules that includes appropriate non-caloric liquid intake.

I'm on the cusp of my 8 year anniversary and truly can say although I've had some ups and downs in my life and quiet a few emotions at times.....WLS has been the BEST thing I've done for myself. 

 

Glad to see you back!!  

I think we do need the accountability.  I think we also need people who understand the struggles unique to gastric bypass.

thanks to all of you for your support.  I agree with cajun girl, 8 yrs out from surgery and excited!   Have not regretted this surgery once and am thankful for the new life it's given me.  My biggest problem is me.  Either not eating correctly, eating too little and not exercising enough.

blessings, Tamilynn

Thanks for the post.  Like so many I stop posting and reading until I realized that I needed  the community to help me regain the control that I had lost.  I am 4 years out and this last year I have regained 20 pounds by not following the rules.  I also reconize that accountability is so important, so I am back.

Welcome. We do need each other don,t we?

holy cow!!!!

I am so freaking happy that I found

"What if this IS the normal? What if regain and bounceback are PART of our successful journey?"

Brings to mind an aspect that I never thought of.. maybe there isn't something utterly wrong with me.. maybe what i am experiencing is normal??? interesting thought.

Miss Redd- Thank you for your post- it is nice to hear some encouraging words about "maybe this is just normal".  i appreciate your expression of post-op life. 

I am a lil over 9 years post op.. and i have had 2 children since my surgery.  I am looking forward to getting to know other WLS graduates who have been years out as well. 

I'm also back after about a years layoff. I had forgotten about this Graduates board and am so glad it popped up while looking for the other boards I used to go to.

DH and I spent the last 14 months dealing with his cancer. (He's doing great now) After spending almost 2 years focusing on me and my needs our priorities were shifted to him and what he needed. As it should and I wouldn't do otherwise. However, that meant that I didn't always get what I needed to stay on track. Hospital food is NOT bariatric friendly! So for various reasons I'm up about 15 lbs from where I want to be. I did get to my goal weight of 160 for about 2 days then settled in at 170-175 for the next year. That's where I'd like to get back to.

After reading Miss Redd's post it makes me wonder just how much of the regain is just normal?!?! If you go with the Dr.s 10% regain then I'm just about there. And honestly, if this is where my body needs to be I'm OK with that. In fact, it would be a relief if it would just tell me that so I could stop trying to lose it!

This year, I have had a 15 pound bounceback and I do think it was normal.  I am at 165 now and I do believe that is a healthy weight for me.   I am 5'10" and not a small woman.  People actually say I look better now.  My doc told me to expect a 10-20% bounce back and that is pretty much what has happened.  I am exercising more and eating right, but I am not torturing myself.  I like what you said about feeling "bad" and fighting your own body.  I am not going to do that to myself.   Great post.

One thing that I really appreciate that my surgeon did-NEVER set a goal weight.  He said "if you do what I tell you to do, your body will stop when it reaches its goal weight".  So I never set a number.  I lost for 13 months straight.  Then it stopped.  And I've stayed in the same 10 lb range ever since. 

And guess what?  I'M STILL OVERWEIGHT.  Yep.  By that infamous BMI chart, I need to lose 8 more lbs. to be at the high end of normal.  I guess I'm just one stomach flu away from "success".  (grin)