1 week out.

Oct 17, 2014

I had surgery last Friday.  I am so grateful to have another opportunity to get my health and my life back.  The liquid diet however is really getting to me.  Counting the pre op diet it has now been 3 weeks since I gave been able to eat.  That's enough to drive any one crazy, even with a tool in place to control physical hunger.  Food deprivation is often used as a form of torture.  I am not hungry though.  I just really miss the texture of food in my mouth.  I have a new respect for food.  A piece of fish or some chicken salad would be really tasty right now.  One week till I get to progress to puréed foods!

I've noticed that my general anxiety is much higher since having this surgery.  I just can't seem to relax.  I find myself wondering why my diabetes and blood pressure weren't immediately "cured" by this surgery.  Then I wonder if the surgery will even work for me.  Maybe I am the exception to the rule.  So anyways, I decided to hop on the scale to see if I've lost any weight.  As of last night I am down approximately 5 lbs.  which is good, but heck I'm starving myself right now, isn't that the kind of weight loss expected when you are not even getting 500 calories per day?  Maybe I am being too hard on myself. I just want to successfully get down to a normal weight for my height.  Only time will tell.  Maybe it will start melting off once I exercise. Right now all I am cleared to do is walk.  

This may be TMI but some of you may be wondering about the bowel movements with this surgery.  It hits me like a ton of bricks first thing in the morning and is pretty liquid (yuck! I know).  After about 3 quick visits to the toilet it's pretty much done for the day.  This might change when I am able to get food again.   

Anyways that's all for now (I write here to control my anxiety).

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