Diva70
10 weeks post-op
May 09, 2011
Wow...how time flies. I am still losing but at a much slower rate. I have got to kick up the exercise. I just wish i was officially under 200. The one thing that I can say is that I know i have lost weight and that my body is changing. It is just hard for my mind to catch up. When i go past a mirror or a window, it is sometimes hard to realize that it is me. I still see myself as a "big" girl but the reflections tell me different...which is hard for me to get through my head.I am officially in a size 14. I was able to go to Wal-Mart (trying not to spend too much on clothes until I reach my goal weight and size) and just grab a 14 off the rack and take it home. I was actually thinking that I would need to lose some weight before i got into them, but i tried them on for the heck of it and they fit. My mind is still telling me that this is impossible, but my body is actually there. I never dreamed that i would be here...so now i am trying to mentally catch up. I know it may sound strange and I'm not sure really how to describe it. When I went into Macy's I saw a dress hanging up that was a 14 and decided to just try it on and it fit... I cried. I am not even sure how to describe the feeling. The one thing that I truly feel that I was not prepared for was the change in self perception and the confidence of who I am now. So confusing at times.
It has been a little difficult for my son as well and I know that I need to get both of us in counseling. He is still dealing with the fact that his dad and I are no longer together and that things will never be the same, but he is also dealing with my weight loss. He actually told me that he misses the big mom....which actually made me kind of sad... He is confused when he sees men looking at me and tells me that i am way too skinny (farthest from the truth - lol) but in his eyes it is just more change and I think he is trying to take it all in. In actuality, it is hard for ME to take it all in.
Anywho....i am rambling because it is 1:23 in the morning...and my sleep pattern is off for some reason - too many things that I am thinking about....for no reason!
Hope that everyone that is embarking on this journey is encouraged. Stick to your decision and make it work for you. So many are praying for an opportunity like this and i am beyond grateful for the chance i have been given to change my life!
