inspiredbyhope
went into DETOX..March 24, 2011...lost more weight
Apr 27, 2011
From taking all my pain meds and xanax for depression after loosing the twins and bec of the pain I was becoming unable to eat I just had NO-ZERO APPETITE! I was down to 103lbs and everyone said I looked sick..to be honest my bones hurt and I didnt feel well either....I started getting nervous what if I really got sick?? I could not afford to loose any weight I would die. I was now at my thinnest even thinner than when the dr had e on the feeding tube after my revision! and they were worried then bec I was like 118-120! f he saw me now he would probably hospitalize me and give me back the feeding tube. anyway put myself into detox unit in princeton, nj while waiting to be admitted I had what the dr's all warned me about (coming off the meds after so long and so much) I had a seizure and bit my tongue! Never had a seizure in my life...did not have one clue it was coming on! Just woke up with dr's and paramedics and oxygen on me....took me to hosp in ambulance and did cat scan...came out normal...sent me back to re-hab. I will tell you I lost a BIG part of my memory after that seizure.!? very strange. the simpleist things I can not recall. That whole night of admitting me into detox is even a blur! Any way that was April 24th 2011 I stayed 7 days and was finally released. Only to have such horrid anxiety! I felt like I was having outer body experiences, I was shaking, had cold sweats esp at night I must have changed clothes 3 times min. did not want to drive or talk to anyone, felt like I could not breathe (panic attacks) and sleep deprived! would lay there with eyes wide open all night! Finally after a few days home I called my shrink and made appointment! He gave me klonipin (which they had me on in detox for anxiety) and seroquel, and buspar and 400mg of seroquel to sleep. needless tosay he had to change sleeping meds to trazedone 300mg and increase my seroquel during day andI still have issues with anxiety and sleeping. not to forget the diareaha! I am in the bathroom several times a day STILL and still get cold sweats at night. Dr said that xanax withdrawal is the worst withdrawal to EVER go through...worse than HEROIN! it can last up to 6 -8 months and still shows in system up to one year.I think bec of going to the bathroom so much I am not really gaining the weight I should with the food I am consuming now. I went from 103 to 112-113lbs and I have trouble keeping that on. Although some people say my face looks a lot healthier with just gaining 10lbs.The reason I wanted to come off my meds was bec I had a medal battery inserted inyo my lower back with leads connected to where my worst back pain in thoracic (mid back) has been for the past few years. I can adjust the amount of vibrations and the speed from a wireless remote I carry with me at all times. I have to re-charge the bettery inside me once a week or every other week depends how much I use it...but when I had that installed I figured I should coe off the meds bec they are keeping me from eating and thats why I was so thin now and the only way I was gonna ever get an appetite back was to stop my meds. Did not know was gonna be sooo hard and such a LONG recovery! It really sucks feeling so much anxiety! And going to the bathroom so many times a day! never would I have ever thought I would NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT lol...
Eventually after a few months and my anxiety calms down dr will wein me off the new meds. BUT NONE are ADDICTING! NO MORE NARCOTICS for me...even my pain Dr I told NO NARCOTICS....the meds he gave me as I still suffer back pain really does shit! But I also take tylenol, advil or ibuprofen! and live with hot water bottle and switch to ice packs daily! Think this is just gonna be how I am the rest of my life. Tired of shots tired of pain management dr's....tired of meds!
However, I have been clean one whole month April 24th, 2011! Praise the Lord.
1 Comment
About Me
A DOT ON THE MAP, NJ
Location
37.9
BMI
Surgery
01/10/2008
Surgery Date
Jan 04, 2008
Member Since
