Slutty Dresses, Homeless men... and love...

Apr 08, 2011

What a day it has been. I was going to post this on the main board but don't want to annoy everyone with my banter.
So here it goes:
I had a million errands to do today, and in doing so had some interesting experiences. And by interesting I mean weird as fuck! SO for starters… I was on my way to get my upper lip waxed, which was much needed. It was that or braid that shit and wrap it around the back of my fucking ears and shit. While I was there the gals at the salon were going nuts over my weight loss. I explained how the VSG worked… I felt like a celebrity.. like a fat… Kersty Ally kinda celebrity. Fuck its as close as Ill ever get, Ill take it! After getting some hair ripped out of my face I was off to pick up my jeans… Yeah. On the way there I was rocking out to some Dr. Dre… being the super hard core chick that I obviously am when a hot guy pulls up to me. We exchange "the look", do the lil flirty thing… Im having a grand time at this point.. on top of the world with my ketchup red upper lip. Meanwhile my window is down and my music is blaring… cause as I said before… "hardcore" right? Well, not so much. As I am rapping like Im Missy Elliot and shit my ipod decides to go all rouge on me and next thing I know O' Christmas Tree is blaring from my fucking speakers… There goes my sexy… maybe someday Ill get it back… Who knows? Got the Jeans…. Super awesome and somehow in-between all this I made it to the rack for some awesomely slutty dresses and one that is kinda conservative… How that happened … well I will never really know and where I will ever wear it to is another mystery. If anyone would like to take me to church I now have  a dress for it…thought I may burst into flames as I cross the threshold. Homeless men: I was complimented by a man, a patchouli oil wearing - free love kinda man, jay walking across the street while I was at a red light. As he approached I tried to slyly lock my car door with my elbow… FAIL. It pinched my arm fat and I yelped in pain. Within this moment… I realized, it was a utterly complete waste of time… my window was open and my fatty arm was hanging out anyway I could be easily ripped out of the window and accosted by this 43 pound man! Dude comes up and slurs something at me, with his lolipop hanging out of his mouth winks, blows a kiss, a wet one and moves on. WTF…. It was a nice gesture, I guess. Onto love… well that was just for shits and giggles and it looked kinda cool on the end of the title, come on were all grown enough to know thats a steamy load of bullshit!!!! Lust… now thats where its at ladies and gents… thats where its at

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