I need to get back on here more

Sep 14, 2010

I have had my ups and downs but in general I am still doing pretty damn good!! I went from being happily engaged to now happily single and feeling like I really made the right decision for me- he is a great guy and I feel bad that I have hurt him but I have been through enough misery in my life and I can;t carry his too especially if you arent gonna do anything about it!! Plus I had been back with him (my kids father) since I had lost my weight so I have yet to release mynew confidence in the rest of the world so I am excited about that!!!  
 I currently weigh 170 and am hoping that I can get back down to 163-165 area.   I was very comfortable there and everything fit me very well and I was content with how I looked even without wearing sucky-in underwear.  I had stopped going to the gym cuz of chiropractic reason and pure stubborness onmy part.  Dr. told me to lay off the cardio kickboxing and that was my favorite thing to do at the gym so I decided to go on strike.  I did not go to the gym for 104 days (i only know this cuz the guy at the front desk said that he hadn't seen me in a while and then checked the actual amount of days!) So I went back last wednesday and had a great workout.  Then I did the 26.2 mile Jimmy Fund walk on Sunday- that was great but painful- should have trained much better for that!!   So I am kind of in recovery from that so I have to wait a lil while until my muscles relax so I don;t hurt myself.  Right now I feel like my hamstring could snap at any moment so I have not even taken a walk since sunday- just getting around was painful but getting much better.  I have been making some poor food choices and eating too much so I am now aware of it and am adjusting. 
I have gone back to the gym and I have gotten new schedules so that I can make arrangements to get there and not act like I used to have time when I was doing the same amount of things as before.  It is really all in the mind and what you plan to do and how you tend to make it work.  I still get compliments all the time and it still feels great!  I feel good and I want to keep this up.  Unfortunately I have this feeling that when I did put back a few lbs (only 8 at most) that there are some caddy ppl that I have to be around that have surely made their comments.  Normally I would not care whattheyhave to say but when it has to do with weight loss (and they are all trying to lose weight) it feels like they are waiting for you to fail.  So unfortunately that also seems like a motivation for me to keep going as strong just to show those bitches up and that is not a positive way of thinking but to prove people wrong is kind of a good feeling so I will go ahead with that one!!
I do want to make time to get to a support meeting- that is another thing that when you are motivated you find the time to do even with still working 2 jobs- you can do.  I am trying to get my life back on my track and focus on me and getting me better as a whole and that is my intention.  I deserve it!!

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