This is my year

Jan 06, 2011

It is 54 days until i have my surgery. I have now informed my boss that i'll be away for two months, i've told some co-workers, the one's i work most closely with. Every one's been supportive. One of the girls thought i wasn't heavy enough to consider this big a step, but i assured her that i was, indeed. She says i must carry it well. lol. I think i've been carrying it too long, i told her. The surgeon did tell me i was lighter than most of the people he does this surgery on. I can't imagine being much heavier than i am. 306, at my last weigh in.

This is my year. I am feeling positive and assured that i am doing the right thing. Every once in a while, when i see someone post about not losing enough weight, i worry that that will happen to me. That i won't lose as much of the weight as i'd like. I dont want to be over 200 lbs. My goal is 165, i remember being at that weight and when i look back at pictures of me then, i think i looked ok. I think i can be sexy at that weight. I think i can be active and energetic and positive and strong. I think i will be able to handle things better, handle stress better, handle good times, and bad times, better. I'm not looking at weight loss to fix my life. I simply want to have more energy to live my life with. I dont want to expend my emotional and physical energy on tying my shoes, or climbing the stairs. I want to deal with stressful situations by going for a long walk, without worrying about being able to walk the next day, or being so bagged out by that exertion that i can't clean my house afterwards.

I want my life back. Obesity has taken it from me for far too long.

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