Not your typical Sunday...

Sep 19, 2012

I have been ill for the past week or so and have basically been lying around in pajamas, in various stages of a low grade fever, sniffling and coughing and generally just not really feeling my best.

Sunday afternoon, I was lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by tissues, Vick's and neo-citran with Season 1 of Grimm. (LOVE that show!) Needless to say I hadn't really done much housework and although the place wasn't really *that* bad, I didn't consider it fit for company, if you know what I mean.

So there is a knock on the door and my Honey answers and I hear a woman looking for me. I can't hear exactly what she is saying but he tells me to come talk to her and I am thinking...seriously?? I haven't brushed my hair (or teeth!!) today and you are letting strangers in to talk to me???

I go to the door and am standing there on the step and she starts by saying her name and that she came from out of town to meet me, has been looking for me for 20 years and she thinks I am her sister.

OK maybe you had better come inside after all....

We meet and chat for a bit and she tells her story....which I won't really get into because I still don't really know all the details and it's kind of weird anyway, but it suffices to say that my mother and her father had a little thing before my mom married my Dad. I kinda always knew he wasn't my "real" Dad, but you know, I figured it was kept a secret for 40 years for a reason, right? Not to mention, he married my mom when he was 18 years old and she had a 2 year old daughter. Really...the man deserves some credit for taking on that responsibility at 18. He did the best he could.


So now, I am faced with all kinds of new realities...I maybe have a sister? Who, by the way is quite thin and lovely and as I sat looking at her, couldn't possibly see any sort of resemblance whatsoever.  I said that to my Honey and he said, Oh no, you two have the exact same mouth. Exactly the same.

Interesting. Interesting that I couldn't see it. I think it's because I still don't recognize myself like this perhaps? Hmmm.... 

So regardless of what the next steps are and what I am going to do about it all, because I really don't know yet....the ONE thing I am SOOOO happy about is that she didn't find me until now. And do you know why???

I would have been so embarrassed for her to see me when I was 300 lbs.

As embarrassed as I was at the state of my kitchen, or even my appearance with red-eyes, unbrushed hair and in my pajamas...I could live with that. But at 300lbs....I would have just died inside.

Does that make me vain?
Maybe, I'm not sure.....but it does make me thankful.
Every day that I can put 300lbs in my past life, is a good day.

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