9 Years Post-Op

Jul 04, 2013

7/6/13

Well....well....well.....here we are again.  It is hard to believe it has been 9 years.  I'm not going to get on here and whine about how fat I've become.  I have given up.  I don't even try anymore.  I need some motivation.  I just am too tired to keep fighting this weight thing all of the time.  I just don't have the will power to eat like I should, nor exercise.  I like food too much and hate exercise even more.  I hate people that say "Oh, you will love exercise once you get into it".  Bull crap.  I've tried it......I hate it.  I hate it more now than before I started. 

Let's put up some stats.  Here are the ugly truths:

• Weight:  208.5 pounds
• Fat:  29.5%
• Water:  53.5%

Let's contrast that to 2007:

• Weight:  162 pounds (46.5 pounds heavier now)
• Fat:  16% (13.5% higher now)
• Water:  64% (down 10.5% now)

At 29.5% fat, that means that 61.5 pounds of me is just fat (compared to 26 pounds in 2007).  So....I have put on 35.5 pounds of just fat in 6 years.  Amazing.  And this, ladies and gentlemen, is AFTER having surgery.  I'm sure that must be a record.  I cannot even convey the level of contempt and repulsion that I have in myself.  You cannot even begin to know.  I do not think I have EVER felt lower.....EVER.....and I have been in some pretty low places.

But.....gee.....I'm glad I didn't get on here and WHINE or anything.  I'm just so sick of this whole thing.  I'm tired of my weight defining me.  I'm tired of always having to deal with it.  I'm just plain tired.  The end.

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